#I am not going to examine why I only expect perfection from the female character and I will ignore that the writer is a woman

[dirt-grub]

Sorry for being eternally mad about the (tumblr) audience reaction to times up for the gang but I seriously shudder to think about what your grasp on consent must be if you saw the gang misses the boat and thought oh this is so obviously consensual because nobody yelled “AH! I’m getting raped!”

[justthehiddleswrites]

Follow My Lead | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 4 | I don’t think you are supposed to giggle at Tolstoy.

A/N: This will update every Thursday.  There are 13 chapters.  There are all sorts of kinds of D/s relationships.  This is the one I choose to write this time.  

MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Vivian Swann)

Summary: Tom and Vivian have both been unlucky in love, searching for something outside of the bounds of a typical relationship.  When the two of them connect via a dating app, Tom is introduced to the idea of being submissive to Vivian.  Which is the one thing he never knew he needed.  Under the firm hand of Vivian, Tom learns what it means to submit and Vivian learns what it means to be in a loving dominant relationship.  But not everyone seems to understand what they have and the best intentions can destroy the strongest relationship.

Warnings for story: Dominant/submissive relationship (sub!Tom), lots of smut including but not limited to: vaginal sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), edging, denial, teasing, use of restraints, spanking, multiple orgasm, anal play, use of toys.

Tag Lists Are Open!  Let me know if you want to be added.  Thank you for reading!

-

Tom slept like a rock that night. The best night’s sleep in a long time. He dreamed of Vivian, kneeling on his chest, kissing him, teasing him, biting him. And he woke that morning with his cock hard and leaking. He stroked himself as he thought about Vivian. But not in the way he usually did. Instead of fantasizing of her touching him, sucking his cock, jerking him off, Tom closed his eyes and imagined his lips on Vivian’s folds and clit. Her hands in his hair tugging his head where she wants it. Vivian moaning in response to his touch, his tongue. As her pleasure increases, Tom’s motions in real life increased. Tom came with a soft gasp, spurting along his torso. He panted, trying to catch his breath. Once he regained his composure, he headed to the shower to clean himself up and go for a jog.

-

Vivian rapped her nails on the desk in her flat. Her email open on the screen. She was drafting the proposed protocols for Saturday to Tom, and she contemplated on how far to push him. So far, Tom exceeded all Vivian’s expectations. Which worried her. In the past, all men have been eager to please, at first. But once the shiny new wore off, and the men realized the relationship wasn’t about her fulfilling their fantasies of kinky sex and it was about surrendering to her authority, they ran. Sometimes without further word. It wasn’t the incompatibility that bothered Vivian, but the coldness in which they communicated it. As though she was without feeling or emotion. This caused her to assign the reading at the beginning, to move more cautiously. And she wasn’t sure if her heart could handle a rejection from Tom.

With a sigh, she typed out to Tom:

This is a date for the sole purpose of kissing. No food, no drink, no chitchat, no reading, no hanging out.

In short: Kissing, petting, stroking and all the things come along with that- yes. Talking, sex, orgasms- no.

Here is a list of what may happen, not what will happen. If anything bothers you or off limits, let me know.

- Kissing, obviously. Let me know of any spots that are off limits.

- Shirt off

- Pants off (underwear on)

-Nudity (you, not me)

- Kneeling

- Blindfold

- Light bondage (cuffs- both wrists and ankles, tied to the bed)

- Biting

-Bruises on your body (both in places normally covered by clothing and places it would be visible such as the neck)

- All over body touching (let me know of body parts off limits)

- All over body licking (same as above)

- Roles reversed (you touching/licking me)

- Hands around your throat (gentle not choking)

- Hair pulling

- Fingers in your mouth (not gagging)

- Body-slapping

- Pinching

And I think I covered everything. Wear a button-down (I like when you undo the top few buttons) and jeans or slacks. Send me a photo of what your current underwear options are. I will send you your address that morning. I expect you at 7.

Vivian

She smiled as she re-read the email. She buzzed with anticipation at the possibilities of Saturday night. Vivian was certain she would cuff and restrain Tom, and not just because he had the tendency to squirm underneath her. She suspected it would push a button and was eager to test her theory. She hit click and headed off to work.

-

Tom was eating breakfast, having finished his morning run when his phone dinged with a new email from Vivian. He read through her email and swallowed hard. The list was extensive. He re-read before finishing up breakfast and heading upstairs and digging through his underwear drawer. Tom had three options laid out on the bed. He snapped a photo of them laid out on the bed. He examined the photo, unhappy.

“Might as well.” he commented to himself as he stripped down and pulled on the first pair, navy boxers.

Tom stood in front of the full-length mirror in the closet and snapped a photo. He hated to admit he may have flexed a bit in the photo. He repeated the process with the white underwear briefs, and the black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Pleased with the photos, Tom typed back to Vivian.

Wow, that is quite the comprehensive list. I appreciate the thoroughness and the bullet points. I am not scheduled for any meetings until Wednesday, so any marks will have faded by then. My feet are ticklish. Probably shouldn’t tell you that. ;) And I would rather not have my armpits or the inside of my ears licked. Otherwise, I am game for whatever you want.

I have attached photos of the underwear, per your request. And if there is anything else I can do to be of service, please let me know, ma’am.

Your sunshine boy,

Tom

He attached the photos and sent the email and then returned to dressing for the day, flopping on the bed to return the last two books on his list before starting his essay.

-

Vivian was pleased Tom modeled the underwear rather than just lay them out of the bed. She probably would have directed him to model them. She wrinkled her nose at the first pic and flicking through the rest.

Black boxer briefs. Burn or throw away the tighty whities. If I find a pair in your home, I will punish you. Let’s change our night time call to 9:00 p.m. from now on. I hate keeping you up so late.

She placed the phone down on her desk. It buzzed almost immediately.

Consider them burned. 9 p.m. works for me, although I don’t mind waiting up if it means I get to hear your voice. :) I shall wait with bated breath until Saturday.

-

The rest of the day seemed to fly by for both of them and before long, Tom was settled into bed with both his books of collected poetry and Anna Karenina. He called on time and Vivian asked for him to read more of Tolstoy. He started doing voices of the characters, in particular an exaggerated Russian accent for Levin and Vronsky.

“I don’t think you are supposed to giggle at Tolstoy.” Vivian commented after one particularly dramatic passage.

“I’m a full service entertainer. Comedy, drama, action, romance.” Tom teased back.

“What about erotica?” she teased right back, her voice low.

Tom paused. “For you? Without question.” She could hear the hesitation, fear, and excitement in his voice. She hoped it would remain.

Vivian sighed. “I think it is enough reading for tonight. I want you to get a good night’s rest for tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am.” he responded.

“Goodnight, Tom, my sunshine.”

“Goodnight, Vivian.”

They ended the call, and both drifted off to sleep.

-

Vivian attended her weekly blowout appointment, not realizing Tom spent the day as a bundle of nerves. He ran ten miles hoping to burn off excess energy. It didn’t work. The only thing he did was finish the last of the books from Vivian’s list. The fastest ever read through anything in some time. He was too distracted to write his essay, thought swirling in his brain. Tom wants it to be perfect. He wants everything to be perfect for Vivian.

Tom must have tried on at least six different shirts, each discarded on the bed as unsuitable. He settles on a soft, well worn light blue shirt. One of his favorites. The collar is fraying at the corners, which is why he doesn’t wear out as much anymore, favoring instead newer but less comfortable shirts. He grabbed a pair of jeans only to notice a hole on the inside of the thigh and discarded them also on the bed, grabbing a different pair. Tom left the top two buttons undone, a calculated air of casual. A quick dab of cologne and then he waited, not wanting to arrive too early.

-

After her morning errands, Vivian ate a light lunch and set about preparing her flat for Tom. She made up the bed with fresh linens and double checked the restraint points on the posts. She hadn’t decided on a leg position, so Vivian placed straps on all the corners as well as the point in the middle. Vivian opened the nightstand and retrieved the cuffs, adjusting them and placing them prominently in the foyer on a table. Cuffing Tom would be among the first things she did that night. In addition, she laid out a blindfold on the nightstand and put a bottle of water there too. After bathing, she slipped into a simple silk tank and striped shorts. She wore the same wedges as before. Vivian enjoyed looking Tom in the eye while standing and kissing. A quick dab of perfume behind the ears and settled on the couch, watching some TV waiting for Tom.

He knocked on her door, ten minutes early. Acceptably early without fear of being so early that he disturbed preparations.

“I couldn’t wait any longer.” Tom commented.

Vivian giggled. His eagerness was endearing. “I’ll allow it. Come in.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He stepped into her flat, looking around in wonder. Vivian grabbed him by the chin and kissed him hard.

“Do you still remember your word, sunshine?”

“Yes.” Tom is already breathing hard. “Sushi.”

She smiled and slid her hand down around Tom’s neck. His Adam’s apple moving underneath her palm. His eyes widened in fear. Vivian kissed him again. He leaned forward when she stepped back. She walked around him, fingers tracing the planes of his body, his broad shoulders, defined pecs and abs. Vivian gave his ass a playful swat. Tom yelped and staggered forward.

“Such a nice ass, sunshine.” She growled in his ear, grabbing it with her nails.

“Thank you, ma’am.” his voice shook. He wasn’t used to being manhandled, and his cock appreciated the rough touch.

“Shirt and pants off.” She stepped back to watch him undressed.

Tom’s cheeks blushed. He had been nearly nude in a room of strangers before, but under Vivian’s glare, he never felt so exposed. Tom tugged his shirt over his head, not bothering to undo the buttons this time. He folded the shirt, placing it on the nearby table while he slipped his shoes and socks off, and slipping his jeans down his lean legs. Vivian licked her lips at Tom in his underwear. While the man appeared fit clothed, he was something carved from marble without the clothes. He flashed a lopsided smile as he placed his jeans on top of his shirt and folding his hands in front of him, obscuring his crotch.

“God, you are beautiful.” Vivian hissed as she stepped forward to kiss him again. Tom hummed back at the praise, his body growing warm. She nipped at his lower lip, nibbling rather than biting, sending shocks through his body. “Wrists, please.”

Vivian moved to the table. Tom’s arms shot out. She grabbed the leather cuffs and put them on. Tom jerked back his arms.

“What are those?” His brows furrowed.

“Cuffs. Wrists.” Her tone sharp. Tom hesitated, his mouth opening to protest. “Sunshine, wrists.” she snapped.

“Yes, ma’am.” He reluctantly held out his wrists. She tightened the cuffs, making sure they wouldn’t chafe.

Tom twisted his wrists back and forth, testing out the weight and listening to the rings thudding against the thick leather. Vivian kissed him again, hands sliding down his torso. His cock jumped. She grabbed the back of his neck and led him towards the bedroom. Tom gulped at the blindfold and straps.

“Ah…” he started before being cut off by Vivian’s lips on his neck. “Oh!” he moaned. She laved and sucked hard, removing her lips with a pop, satisfied at the dark mark already formed.

“On the bed, sunshine. On your back.” Tom scrambled onto the bed, lying flat on his back. As Vivian slipped the cuffs on Tom’s ankles, he jerked back. She raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, ma’am.”

“Good boy.”

She slipped her shoes off and then hooked his ankle cuffs to the straps in the middle of the bed. As Vivian strolled to the head of the bed, she ran a nail up Tom’s leg. He jerked against the restraints. She grabbed his arm and clipped it onto the strap before crawling onto the bed, reaching over to clip in the other side, her breasts grazing Tom’s body. His hips bucked.

“So squirmy, sunshine. Best I did tie you up.” Vivian straddled his chest, pushing him into the mattress. “I can’t let you get away just yet.” She pressed against his lips softly, earning a sigh. Her teeth worried his lower lip.

“Ow.” he mock protested.

Nevertheless, Vivian let go of his lip and trailed down his neck. She licked the bruise from earlier before moving down to his collarbone. Vivian sucked and nipped, leaving the twin to the neck’s bruise there. She smiled at her handiwork. Tom struggled against the restraints.

“They have held stronger men than you, sunshine.” Vivian dragged her nails down his sides, leaving faint lines. As she settled by his hips, Tom’s cock pressed against her. Tom huffed and puffed as she kissed his Adonis belt, scraping her teeth along his skin from time to time. Her hands stroked along his thighs and he flexed under her touch.

She slid off of Tom’s body, and he whined at the lack of contact. Vivian rolled back on top of Tom, lying along his full body like a blanket. Tom sighed at the weight and contact. She pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to his heart race. She snaked a hand to the back of his head and jerked his head sideways before kissing him. Tom met her lips with hunger and he whimpered each time she pulled away, only to tug him towards her again. He strained against the restraints, desperate to touch her, to pull her tight against him and rut against her. His tongue slipped into her mouth, needy, exploring every inch. He moaned as Vivian’s grip tightened on his hair, hurting, but he wanted more.

Vivian could sense Tom coming close to overheating, making a mess and complicating the hell out of this. His cock strained, hard and weeping. She pulled away, holding his lower lip between her teeth as long as possible, stretching it.

“Ow.” Tom muttered.

Vivian slid down to press against Tom’s side. She cupped her cheek before gently kissing behind Tom’s ear. Tom moaned softly from the back of his throat. Her fingers twisted into his hair and she massaged his scalp. Tom’s shoulders relaxed and his hands loosened from the fists. As she scratched and petted him, he leaned into her touch, his breath slowing to a deep and even pace. He closed his eyes, enjoying the soft touch.

“You are so beautiful, my sunshine.” She cooed at him. Her other finger tracing his jaw and cheekbone. “So pretty.” She kissed his cheek and stroked his chest.

“Thank you, ma’am.” His voice breathy and floaty.

Vivian reached over and unhooked Tom’s wrist. She turned and unhooked his other wrist. Tom didn’t move. She stood to unhook his ankles.

“Legs up, please.” Tom lifted his legs into the air. Vivian undid the cuffs, rubbing the skin and massaging it. She kissed the top of his feet and Tom giggled and squirmed. “You weren’t joking about being ticklish.”

“No, ma’am.” He slowly floated back to reality.

“Sit up, please.” Tom rocked up, his hair a rumpled mess, and held out his wrists. Vivian smoothed out his hair and held the back of his neck while she kissed his cheek and lips a few more times. She released him and unbuckled the wrist cuffs, rubbing his wrists and kissing each one and placed them on the nightstand and grabbed the water bottle, handing it to Tom.

“Thank you.” He opened the bottle and took a large swig. Vivian smoothed his hair back one more time.

“Let’s go get dressed, sunshine.” He sighed, taking another swig of water before standing. Vivian slipped her wedges back on and walked beside Tom, rubbing his neck the entire time. “I was a bit rough on you. Are you okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” His voice quiet while he grabbed his jeans and tugged them on before pulling on his shirt, tucking it and zipping up.

“How did it feel? I imagine you are used to being treated with kid gloves.”

Tom pulled on his socks and shoes, working on finding the right words.

“I don’t quite know how it felt.” Tom replied, a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “But I know I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t mind the pain. I wanted to touch you and make you feel as good as you made me feel.”

Vivian smiled and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight. “Sunshine, I feel good. I received great pleasure at teasing you.” She kissed him. “With my mouth. And watching you squirm and hearing you purr.” She petted the back of his head. “But I appreciate your desire to please me physically. And you will when the time comes.”

Tom stared at her with his endless blue eyes. “When will that be, ma’am?”

“When you’re ready, Sunshine.” She kissed his cheek. “You still haven’t finished your homework first.”

Tom’s hands fidgeted, twisting in front of him. “I finished all the books. I plan on starting the essay tomorrow.” He stared at the floor. “I want it to be perfect.”

“As long as it is from your heart it will be, my sunshine boy.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I don’t ask for perfection, just effort.”

Tom nodded and squeezed her hand back. “Yes, ma’am.”

She walked him to the door, kissing him one more time. “Call me in the morning when you wake up.”

Tom nodded. “Thank you for tonight.”

“You are welcome. The pleasure was mine.”

Tom smiled and kissed Vivian’s cheek and headed out. She clicked the door shut and set about cleaning up the place. Tom came home and ate a sandwich before turning in early that evening, his brain still fuzzy.

-

As requested, Tom called in the morning, still in bed, to check in with Vivian. It pleased her that outside of the marks on his neck and collarbone, Tom was no worse for wear. Tom left out the part of the dreams he had or the fact he woke up with a raging hard on which Tom took care of in the shower, skipping his run for thirty minutes on his long neglected rowing machine.

Tom lazed about for most of the morning, having something akin to a hangover without the benefit of being drunk beforehand. As he sat down at this computer to start his essay for Vivian, there was a knock on the door. He groaned as he trudged to see who would dare disturb his lazy Sunday.

A smiling Benedict greeted him at the door. When he saw Tom in workout gear, he frowned.

“You’re not dressed!” he complained.

“For what?” Tom blinked back at him. He didn’t recall making plans.

“Lunch!” Benedict stepped in the foyer. “We made plans weeks ago. I’ll wait for you to change.”

Tom was ready to protest, but Ben crossed his arms and it was clear he wasn’t leaving without Tom. With a huff, Tom discarded his clothes into the bedroom which now had a small pile of discarded and dirty clothes, and grabbed an old gray v neck t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Shoving his feet into a pair of boots, Tom stomped back to Ben, pushing past him.

“Let’s go.” Tom grumbled.

Tom’s mood improved once he ordered some food and got half a pint into his system. Benedict stared at him, squinting.

“What?” Tom asked, still irritated.

“What is that on your neck?” He pointed at Tom’s neck. Tom twisted it, and then Ben spied the second mark on his collarbone. “And your chest? Were you attacked?”

Tom touched his collarbone and remembered. He blushed. “It’s nothing. Forget it.” He gulped down the other half of his pint and stood. “Let me go get another round.”

Benedict held out his arm to stop Tom. “It’s like you were bitten by someth… Oh… OH!” The lightbulb went off. “Things going well with Vivian?”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Yes.” He sidestepped Ben’s arm and grabbed another pint before returning to the table.

“Care to share?” He prodded.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Moving on.” Tom grew more homicidal by the second.

Benedict clapped his hands together. “Remember how Sophie wrangled me into serving on the children’s hospital charity board?”

“Yes.” Tom saw the Cheshire Cat grin on Ben’s face. “No. No! I went last year and got cornered by that old lady who kept calling me ‘Henry’.”

“It was endearing.”

“It was ridiculous.”

“There’s an open bar.”

“Hard pass.”

“I have two tickets. You can bring Vivian.”

Tom stared at his friend. “I am not introducing you to Vivian.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like her and I’m afraid you will scare her off.”

Benedict scoffed. “I have never…” He clutched his chest in dramatic fashion. “… never scared anyone off.”

“Alice, Catherine, Eva…” Tom counted off on his fingers. “… I can go on.”

“None of them met my high standards. Please come.” he begged. “Sophie will kill me if you don’t come.”

“The thought of your death is tempting.”

The waiter set the food down.

“Tom…” Benedict dropped all pretense. “… please come. I promise I will be on my best behavior.”

Tom’s head dropped. “Give me the details. I will check with Vivian tonight when I call her.”

Benedict’s lips pursed. “Really? I can’t wait to meet her. Especially someone who leaves marks like that on you. Sounds like she is yours for the taking.”

“Yeah.” Tom mumbled as he took a bite of his food.

-

Tom called her at 9 p.m. like always.

“Sunshine, how was your Sunday?” she asked.

“Speaking of that…” Tom started, and she noticed the nerves in his voice. “What are you doing next Friday evening?”

She thought about it for a moment. “I believe I’m free. Do you have any ideas?”

Tom exhaled sharply. “I’ve been invited to a charity event by Benedict and I have two tickets, and I was wondering if you would like to come with me.” He blurted it all out in one big run-on sentence.

Vivian paused before laughing. “Wow, you were really nervous about that, weren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am. Everything is still so new and I don’t… I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You are just the sweetest, sunshine. You know that right? Beautiful and sweet. Yes, I will go with you.”

Tom beamed. “How would everything work?”

“Like any date would. We go, we drink, we dance and mingle.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, darling. We can set some rules that work for both of us. okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, read to me please.”

Tom grabbed the book.

-

Tom and Vivian agreed he would pick out three outfit options, but Vivian would come over ahead of time and make the final choice. They would not use pet names and instead would do what is natural. Tom asked that she still rub the back of his neck.

“It calms me down.” he commented.

“Of course, sunshine. I like when you are calm. You are more attentive that way.”

It was now the day of the event and Vivian sat on Tom’s bed, noticing the clutter. Tom was modeling the second outfit.

“I don’t like the tie. Let’s see the last one.”

Tom undid the tie and shirt and grabbed the last option. It was a double-breasted blue pinstripe suit with a blue shirt and navy tie. He did a little spin.

“That one.” Vivian stood and straightened his tie and petted his neck before squeezing his ass. “Your ass looks amazing in those trousers.”

Tom blushed again. “Thank you, ma’am.”

She kissed his cheek, wiping away her gloss. “Remember, no names, now let’s go.”

-

Tom was more at ease with Vivian by his side. Her reassuring touch at the back of his neck or even his shoulder grounded him. Not to mention, she dazzled everyone she met. Now for the big test.

“Benedict, Sophie, meet Vivian Swann. Vivian meet Benedict Cumberbatch, notorious troublemaker, and his queen of a wife, Sophie Hunter.”

Vivian shook each of their hands, holding tight to Tom’s but leaning in for a kiss on the cheek by Ben. Tom tightened his grip. She suppressed a giggle.

“Charmed. Thank you so much for inviting me. I have been looking into getting the firm involved in more charity work and the children’s ward is an enticing option.”

“Firm?” Sophie questioned.

“Watkins, Price, and Forbes. I work in their corporate law division.”

Benedict let loose a low whistle.

“Tom, you didn’t tell me you were dating a pit bull.” Sophie commented. “Impressive.”

Vivian smiled. “I prefer the term ‘velvet hammer’ but pit bull works. “

“How did you and Tom meet?” Ben interjected.

Tom paled, but Vivian didn’t miss a beat.

“The Bloomsbury Club. We bonded over a shared loved for Macallan 18-year-old aged whisky.”

Tom cleared his throat. “Right. Why don’t we take a seat?” He gestured at their reserved table.

“Your feet must be killing you in those shoes, Vivian. After having kids, I just can’t stand wearing them, but if I want to see eye to eye with this one.” She gestured at Benedict.

“Guilty.” He shrugged. “Although not as tall as the Frost Giant over there.”

Tom paused as he pulled out Vivian’s chair for her.

“I don’t mind the heels.” Vivian responded. “It is all what you get used to. Besides, I enjoy towering over people.” she giggled.

“Champagne?” the waiter offered.

“No, it makes her sneeze.” Tom commented.

“Get me a glass of white wine, please?” Vivian gazed up at him.

Tom smiled down and kissed her cheek. “Yes, of course, darling.”

“Sophie?”

Benedict and Sophie blinked at the two of them.

“Uh… yes a white wine sounds fantastic. Thank you, Tom.”

Tom nodded and headed off to the bar. Sophie elbowed Benedict in the ribs. He shuffled to his feet.

“Tom, let me help you with that!” He called after his friend.

Sophie waited until both men were out of earshot.

“How did you… I don’t want to know. You’re not like Tom’s other girlfriends, Miss Vivian Swann.”

She smiled. “I’m not sure if that is a compliment or an insult. So I will say thank you.”

“Definitely a compliment. There is something different about Tom when he is around you. He seems…”

“… happy?”

“Yes, but the word is content.” Sophie added. “Content, at peace. After that last nasty breakup, the man could use a little peace and quiet.”

“Hopefully not too quiet.” Vivian smirked.

“Are you two gossiping about us?” Benedict teased.

“I was just telling Vivian how happy and content our dear Thomas looks with her.” Sophie quipped.

Tom blushed as Vivian smiled and reached out to rub his neck. “I am. Thank you for noticing Sophie.”

-

The evening wound down. Tom for once enjoyed the event. Vivian won over Benedict and Sophie, so much so that Sophie invited her to go shopping tomorrow afternoon while she wrangled Benedict and Tom in tearing down a shed in Ben’s yard.

“Leave them to grunt work while we shop.”

“I would love to.” Vivian sipped at her wine.

The two couples said goodbye while waiting for the valet. Benedict hugged Vivian tight and kissed her cheek. While Sophie and her exchanged numbers. Benedict pulled Tom to the side.

“There’s something different about you, man.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m still me.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“No,” Ben folded his hands in front of his face. “there is definitely a change. And I think it has something to do with that enchanting woman over there, who I am sure is being tortured with baby pictures by my wife.”

“Perhaps.” Tom replied cryptically.

“Don’t fuck it up man. You will never find another girl…”

“Woman.” he corrected his friend.

“… Woman like her. You deserved a little happiness.”

“Tom?” Vivian placed her hand on his back. “The car’s here.”

“Of course. Ben.” He shook his friend’s hand and then hugged Sophie before opening the door for Vivian and then getting in and driving off.

-

“I’m going to head home.” Vivian stated when they got back to Tom’s home.

“Okay. I had a lot of fun tonight. It wasn’t nearly as dreadful with you there.”

“Your friends are a delight. They really do want the best for you, sunshine.”

Tom smiled at the name. “Yes, ma’am.” He fell back into the old pattern.

She grabbed the back of his head and tugged him into a kiss. Tom wrapped his arms around her and did his best to hold her tight. She pulled away, and he whined.

“I’m ready to take this to the next step, Vivian. I want to please you.” His hands ghosted over his shoulders. “In all ways.”

She smiled. “Send me the essay and we will talk. How about lunch tomorrow?”

“I will send it as soon as I step inside. I could cook you lunch here.”

“I would like that, sunshine.” She kissed him one more time. “Sleep well.”

“Yes, ma’am. You too.”

She smiled and walked to her car to head home. Tom stepped inside and rushed to his computer. He did a quick spell check on the essay he had been tweaking over the last week and clicked send.

“There.”

Vivian laughed as her phone beeped before she even left Tom’s driveway, knowing it was Tom’s homework.

“So eager. I like that.”

[prodtrouver]

Catch These Hands • Choi Beomgyu

Never ever have she felt so comfortable in another school with her old friends. Everyone was friendly and out-going, it was easy to approach everyone. That's how you could make friends despite your short time at school. However, you never expected such a quiet boy to be alone by himself, always watching you and your friends play away.

Pairing: volleyball player! Beomgyu x volleyball player!fem reader

Other characters: Volleyball player! Heeseung, NCT DREAM, a brief appearance of an old friend! Jungwon.

Genre/warning: introvert-extrovert pair, slight angst, fluff, feeling of left out, sport-romance, slow-burn 

no. of words: 3.4k words

You watched the 4 boys challenge each other in a game is basketball. Laughter and mad screams fill the court. Smiles clear on their faces as one of them tried to snatch the ball from the other. Today was a good day, the warm sun covered by a few clouds, the breeze was perfect, and well- breezy.

“y/n, come join us!” Huening Kai yelled, but you shook your head. “I don’t want to play with giants,” you chuckled. They all pouted but went back to playing.

Soobin ran away from Yeonjun, the ball being dribbled by the taller. The next second, he did a lay-up and the boys groan. “Round isn’t over!” You called out, and Taehyun snatched the ball from Soobin.

Once again, you laughed but noticed a figure on the side of your eyes. You look at the bench across from you and see a boy. It’s him again...

His eyes glued on the 4 boys who looked too focused in the game. Suddenly, his eyes met yours and moments flashes in your head...

You bolted down the stairs of your home, and you heard your brother scolding you for your actions.

“I’m not even hurt, Jeno!” You stated, thrilled to finally transfer schools. Jeno pouts at you before he carefully places the plate in front of you. Truth to be told, you are excited, however, nervous. Many of your other friends claimed that the school you’re transferring to is so friendly and jolly.

You don’t know for real, but you are curious how your first day will go. You dropped your spoon when you heard the doorbell ring throughout your house. Jeno quickly gets the door and was greeted by the joyful and giggly voices of his friends.

“where’s our precious y/n?” You bounced off your chair when you heard Jaemin call for your name. His voice like honey and almost motherly will always soothe you. You just love the boy, maybe even more than Jeno.

You jumped into his arms and he laughed before he spun you around. He kissed your head and greeted you a good morning.

“Aw, look at you in another school uniform! I’m going to miss you so much,” Jaemin pretends to cry.

“Yeah! Who am I going to argue with now?” Chenle sulks, but you laugh as a reply.

“Do you want to come in or not?” Jeno said, and they all came in. Soon, a plentiful of food filled your dining table and everyone was getting excited.

You get ready your bag for you will leave any minute. You reached your hand out to grab a piece of candy coin, only for it to touch another person’s hand.

“Sorry,” the boy spoke. You grabbed a few chocolate coins and avoided the eyes of Donghyuck, your ex.

“Y/n, be careful, okay? I hope you have a positive first day!” Jisung shouted as they watched you put on your shoes.

“Yeah!” You shouted before you opened the door. One of your feet already outside the house.

“Don’t forget our volleyball practice after school, though!” And you locked the door. 

You take a deep sigh before finally walking to your new school.As soon as you stepped into the building, eyes were on you. They didn’t go unnoticed by you either; it puzzled you instead. You think that you won’t suit in.

You pull out the laminated paper from your bag. Color coded boxes to symbolize your subjects for that time. Classroom numbers on top of those boxes.

Speedily, you searched for your classroom. After all, it would be terrible for you if you’re late on the first day.

Unfortunately, you crashed into someone.

“I’m sorry!” You spoke and grabbed your schedule from the side. Your eyes met the eyes of the person you crashed into.

They were lovely, almost mesmerizing to look at, but his voice cut your trance off.

“It’s okay,” he said, and helped you stand up. Instantly, he walked away. Your eyes followed him, but you went back to looking for your first classroom.

When you found the room, you were greeted by a shout. “GOOD MORNING, LEE Y/N!”

You jumped and some of them laughed at you. The boy who yelled quickly made his way towards you. He took your hands in his and laughed widely.

“I’m Huening Kai, nice to meet you!” He said and pulled you to a higher level of seating.

“These are my friends! Yeonjun, Soobin, and Taehyun!” The 3 boys waved at you and you grinned sweetly. Huening pulled you to sit beside him and patted your head.

“I heard you’re from SMA and there are a lot of athletic students there. Could you be one of them?” Taehyun asked you, curiosity shown in his eyes, and obviously, it was shown in the others as well.

“Oh, maybe, you’re a tennis player! Oh, oh- a badminton player? An archer!? You might play baseball, maybe basketball-,”

“Hyuka, you’re getting too excited again! Let her speak,” Soobin said and gently patted your shoulder.

“I’m actually... I play volleyball-,”

“WHAT!? REALLY!? WE PLAY VOLLEYABLL TOO!” Yeonjun exclaimed and immediately, Taehyun covered his mouth.

“I apologize, he’s overreactive. Anyway, that’s really cool! I heard the Academy has amazing volleyball players, especially the ones who are in the Varsity team.” Taehyun said, and you laughed.

“Were you in the female’s Varsity team, though? If you are, that’s so sick then! SMA held the girls’ volleyball championship title for 3 years straight!” Hyuka said, slightly patting your shoulders.

“Well, I kinda am- I used to be their second coach, but I stopped because of an injury that happened to me before.” You frowned,

“Is it fatal?” Soobin softly asked, concerned, and a bit disappointed. Your soft smile returned and shook your head. They all sighed in relief, which somewhat confused you.

“Why did you stop playing then?” Taehyun asked, you looked at your hands. “ I just stopped playing, I guess,”

“Don’t you want to play again?”

And that's how you're now standing on the sidelines of the volleyball court. The 4 boys in their orange and black uniforms.

"Who's who?" You asked as you sat down on the benches. They all look at each other before looking at you, "and there's only 4 of you?"

"Not so many males want to play volleyball, so it became a problem, really." Soobin scratched his head while looking at Yeonjun.

"Wait- are you guys... Did you just form your team this year?" You asked them and they all nodded. Your mouth agape because of the shock.

"Okay then... Let me watch you guys play?" You asked, and they all nodded once more. They went to their positions, and you immediately noticed something.

Yeonjun was standing on the right-side hitter's position, Soobin was standing in the middle of the front zone, they were standing on the right side. On the left, Taehyun was standing in the back zone's middle area, and Hyuka in front of Yeonjun from the other side.

"They already have positions..." You muttered unconsciously and watched them play.

You watched them attentively; the way they spike because they don't have other players, the way they pass the ball, it was amazing.

You're just slightly disappointed they don't have other members to increase their okay. You notice something moving from the side of your eyes. You turned your head and saw the boy from that morning.

It's him again, you thought. He moves to sit on the benches a far, a spot where the boys won't notice he's there. Your eyes were glued on him and you never miss the look of loneliness on his face.

"y/n! Come play with us!" Soobin grabbed your hand, snatching your attention from the lonely boy. You nod and take your jacket off. Soon, you enter the court.

It's been weeks since you transferred to BHA.

Everyone was friendly to you. You met other great people and Lee Heeseung, the new player in Team Together, aka BHA's Volleyball Varsity Team.

The boy is there again, his eyes follow the playing figures of the 5 boys. You stood up from your seat and walked towards him.

"Hello," you spoke to him, he flinched. He just looked at you and it made you chuckle. You sit beside him, your hand on your skirt, and the other beside his.

"You've been watching the boys for a while now. Do you have a problem with them?" You asked and his eyes widened. He immediately shook his head and frowned. His eyes moved to stare at the rubbery ground.

"I... They all look so happy and friendly- I'm jealous, I want to be friends," he whispered. You felt your heart melt at the sight. You were about to place a hand on his arm until you heard Taehyun and Yeonjun shout.

"Where are we going to find a setter!? We're not complete and you already want us to join the upcoming Academies Volleyball Championship!?" Taehyun shouted at Yeonjun, who looked annoyed.

"Don't you want this, Taehyun!? That's the reason we made this team!" Yeonjun shouted back, Heeseung stood between them.

"Hey, hey, stop it!" Heeseung gently grabbed Taehyun's shoulder and pushed him away from Yeonjun.

"Yeonjun, Taehyung has a point! We can't immediately join the Championships when we don't even have a setter. We don't have enough time either," Soobin spoke.

You look at the boy beside you and examine his sitting figure. He grabs his arm and made him stand up. His eyes grew wide at your unexpected actions.

"Good figure- Yeonjun, how about this kid?" You shout and pointed at him. His eyes grew wider as he got the urge to run away and never show himself ever again.

The boys walk towards him and examine him. Huening moved to stand behind him, same as Heeseung.

"Hey, kid- do you know how to play?" Yeonjun asked, but he shook his head. The boys look at him, shocked, before glancing at you who looked unfazed.

"You don't even know how to play! Y/n, why him!? We don't have enough time if Choi Yeonjun here wants to join the Championships." Taehyun glares at Yeonjun, who glared back.

"Volleyball is a sport open for everyone. The championship is 3 months away. This boy... What's your name?" You look at him,

"You don't even know how name!" Taehyun shouted, which made Huening rush to his side and nuzzle him away from everyone.

"Choi Beomgyu..."

"Okay, Beomgyu! From this day on, you are now part of Team Together!" You said after you felt something tingle in you when you first saw the boy.

"What!? So sudden-,"

"If you agree to join the championship, I will permanently be your coach. I will train you and tell you everything you have to know... Especially SMA's varsity team, Team Dream. What do you say?" You kept the smile on your face, even if the others have hesitant ones.

They sigh and Yeonjun reached his hand out. You gladly shook it and looked at Beomgyu, who looked distraught. You pat his shoulder,

"Leave Choi Beomgyu to me,"

"No, Beomgyu!" You walk to his side with the ball in your palms.

"You turn your hand when the ball reaches your left ear, don't immediately touch the ball!" You said as you pass the ball to Taehyun.

"Also, jump higher! If you jump that high, the ball won't even go to the other side!" You said before going back to the sidelines. Beomgyu sighs and wipes the sweat off his face.

"Beomgyu, I want you to do it while staying aware of your surroundings!" You clap your hands and motions Taehyun to do a serve.

The ball makes its way towards the other side of the court. Huening passed it to Beomgyu, who jumped high but unable to make the ball go to the other side.

He falls to the ground, his buttock his the floor first, and he groans in pain. The members sigh, feeling hopeless at their new member.

Yeonjun helps Beomgyu stand up, but the disappointed look on his face didn't go unnoticed by Beomgyu. Yeonjun then faces you who looked defeated, but you aren't hopeless at all.

"That's all for practice today- everyone can go home now. Don't forget to change and eat well. Beomgyu, you're going with me," you say and exit the gym.

Beomgyu stood there, his eyes glued to the floor. He felt like crying; he was close to letting others step on his heart. The other boys left the gymnasium, but Beomgyu stayed.

He knew he will never fit in with them. They're such out-going and athletic people, but him? He wasn't out-going nor athletic at all. He's just the boy with no friends at all.

He didn't know what he was thinking when he accepted this.

"Beomgyu, get changed. We're going somewhere," you came back and helped him stand up.

You softly patted his shoulder before sitting on the benches. He stared at you,

"What? I'll wait for you here, so get changed," you smile and Beomgyu nodded. He went to the changing room to clean himself.

Your eyes followed the boy.

His aura screamed introvert and loneliness. You wanted to change that, make him surrounded by people he wants to be friends with. However, it looked like the team didn't want Beomgyu.

You don't know, but there's something about the boy. It makes you feel confident and protective, yet pitiful.

Minutes later, Beomgyu came back. You stood up from your seat. "Let's go watch some boys practice."

Beomgyu wowed when he saw Donghyuck do a dump to the other team.

"So this is Team Dream..." He muttered, and you nodded.

"They're joining the championship again this year, and if we win until the finals, we might go against them." You said, and Beomgyu stepped back. You turned around to look at him.

The panicked and afraid expression on his face was the expression you were expecting. You held his hand and moved him closer.

"Beomgyu, the reason I'm a little harsh on you is because a setter is expected to lead the team. I know that it's too much pressure, but that's why, I'm here to help you. Don't be afraid, I'm here, Beomgyu," You assured him but he shook his head.

"N-no! I'm not good for the job, y/n! I'm not a good setter and I'm never one. I can't even lead the boys, heck, they don't even talk to me! I'm just an introverted boy who wanted to be friends with people who are out of my reach."

"Beomgyu, listen here- you are an amazing setter. You may not have realized it, but it's your low confidence that's crushing you." You say, but he walks away.

You bite your lips as you watch Beomgyu walk away, however; you heard the chant of your brother's team.

Suddenly, you're reminded by the reason you stopped playing volleyball.

"I was like you too, Beomgyu!" You shouted,

"I was scared that people wouldn't trust me because I'm such a lonely person! I wanted to become friends who are out of my reach, but I couldn't. I know how you feel, I know how hard it is to become a setter because I was one too!" He looked at you with a slightly surprised expression.

"But I think it's better than getting the trust of your teammates first than getting your trust broken by them." You look tearful and Beomgyu stood frozen in his place.

"I stopped volleyball because my teammate injured me... I’m fearful experiencing that, so I stopped, but I will never forget the fun I found in volleyball." You walked towards him and clasped his hand.

"I know how you feel, Gyu. I also know you're an intelligent boy. The boys told me they're only waiting for you to blossom and once you're ready-,"

"We will win the championship," Beomgyu turned around at the voices he heard. He bit his lips to endure the tears falling. Huening ran up to Beomgyu and tightly hugged him.

"We believe in you, Beomgyu. I'm sorry we treated you like that," Huening said and broke the hug.

"Sorry, dude-," Yeonjun smacked his shoulder. Soobin ruffled Beomgyu's hair and apologized as well, Heeseung did the same. Taehyun stood in front of Beomgyu, his arms crossed but a smile on his face.

"We have 3 months before the championship, can you practice with us? As a team this time?" Taehyun asked and Beomgyu looked at you.

The wide and sweetest smile danced on your lips. You tugged on his jacket. "What's your answer, Gyu?"

"Yes, I will practice with you!" He shouted, and the boys cheered.

"ONE DREAM! Tomorrow X Together, fighting!" Yeonjun laughed before they all walked away. Food being discussed among them for the night. You were about to follow them until you heard your name called by someone.

"y/n! I didn't know you're here!" You turn around to see Dream running towards you. A laugh escaped your lips, and you saw the 5 boys turn around to look at you.

"How's BHA? Is everything okay there? Are they treating you, right?" Jaemin asked, and you laughed. You nodded your head,

"Hey, y/n~ Haechannie wants to take you out again!" Mark wrapped an arm around Haechan's shoulder. The younger pushed Mark away and apologized to you.

"A setter with a setter! A perfect combination!" Renjun spoke, and the boys laughed. You glance at the 5 boys before taking a step back from Dream.

"I'm busy right now- after all, I have a future champion to train!" You intentionally shouted for Team Together to hear.

"Goodbye, see ya!" You said before running towards the 5 boys. Wide and relieved that you're staying with them.

That night changed everything.

Here you are, standing by the audience, hand in hand as you watched Team Together vs Team Dream. Butterflies flying in your stomach when Jaemin did a spike on Team Together.

The past 3 months were honestly the best for you. Team Together won so many matches against other teams despite being a rookie team.

You realized the feelings you first felt when you first met Beomgyu. The times you spent training together, the times you laughed, the times you played, the times when you both almost got hurt... It was all coming to you.

You like Beomgyu- you love him, however, with the championship being close, you didn't want to distract him.

Now that both teams are tied, it scared you. You didn't want them to lose, but you also want them to win. Team Dream was being cheered on by your old school, the same goes for Team Together.

"You think, they'll win this?" Jungwon moves to your side. You didn't spare a glance at the boy and kept your eyes on the match. Your hand gripped on the railing: just one more point and it's victory.

However, Team Together already looks troubled. You don't know how much more they could handle with the pressure of being one point away.

Beomgyu looked like he was about to faint. He was shaking; it was so visible even from a far. Heeseung placed a hand on Beomgyu's back to keep him from falling before they went back to their positions.

Beomgyu shut his eyes before taking a deep breath. Mark was the one who did the serve this time, his jump server caught Team Together off, but they caught the ball perfectly.

Beomgyu looked extremely tired. He was exhausted by Team Dream's plays.

Suddenly, you act without thinking.

Jungwon friend placed a hand on your shoulder while you attentively watch the volleyball match everyone has been waiting for. You slightly lift yourself from the railings.

"What- yah! Y/N! You'll fall!" Jungwon held onto you closely.

You shouted without thinking.

"CHOI BEOMGYU! I LOVE YOU, SO YOU BETTER WIN THIS!"

Everyone was shocked, and it took them back, but Beomgyu took it as an advantage to do a spike on Team Dream. Then the time ran out.

They won. Team Together won. Everyone jumped from their seats, chanting the name of Beomgyu and Team Together.

"TOMORROW X TOGETHER!" Your school chanted, you run down from the benches, and towards the team. Immediately, you jumped into their arms.

"You did it! You won the championship! YOU'RE A CHAMPION!" You jumped and hugged everyone.

"IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" Taehyun spun you around, which made you laugh. Students gather around the 6 of you, their chants of their names made you smile like a mad person.

You looked at Beomgyu, who was crawled into a ball. You smiled and walked towards him. You tapped on his shoulder, which made him look at you. He smiled widely and hugged you immediately.

"I love you too, my princess." He whispered before he kissed your forehead. Heeseung took your hand and placed you on his shoulder.

"OUR COACH!" Yeonjun and Hyuka shouted, which resulted to you hiding your face. You turn around to see Team Dream's puzzled faces.

"Heeseung, please put me down," you said, and he did. You run towards Dream with TXT behind you.

"So you're their legendary secret coach," Haechan said, his head tilted as he examined the 6 boys behind you.

"Yes, and that was an amazing play. You tired my boyfriend," you pulled Beomgyu close to you. His eyes widened and his cheeks were red.

"Well, congratulations- also, take care of my sister," Jeno patted his shoulder. Their eyes widen,

"SISTER!?"

[katsuflossy]

A Doll’s Palace

Pairing: Hawks x Reader 

TW: Angst, Mentions of maternal death, death, yandere themes, mentions of societal female expectations

A/n:  If it wasn’t for Echo and Mix, would’ve been straight booty cheeks so omg thank y’all for helping me edit this to near perfection ❤❤❤

Taglist: @johariameil @iiminibattlehero @ecao @melanimed​ @mixfi​

Chastity, Purity, Demureness, Divine Feminity: They built your enamored status and innocence in the kingdom of Braavos. A pure noblewoman is seen as the most remarkable feminine icon in society, and you involuntarily became the symbol that many women hated and men looked up to. A curse, your father had called it, as the most beautiful of your family is always the earliest to go, right after birth. Since then, you’ve grown to embody your mother, a face he so loved, and swore on his life that you would never die from a soul exchange as your mother did.

But your marriage with Takami Keigo? A reality every hopeless romantic maiden could only experience through dream. . King ‘Hawks’ was preferred by his people, an esteemed man that led millions to victory in battle with wit and millions of hearts to burst using charm. You were one in a million, the heart that won the golden ticket to strike the hawk’s heart.

Too bad, the reality was shared another lucky heart.

Red silks tailored to your natural measurements; the powdered innocent blush on your face was paralleled to the floor as your brain overflowed with thoughts. Your hands twirled the parchment scroll in your palms, but your eyes remembered the exact words inked on the paper. They jumbled with the script you’ve repeated since the crack of dawn. Midoriya fluttered about the room, making the bed you just laid in and unclogging the once cold bathwater made for you to look more ‘youthful.’ A simple day in the Crystal Queen’s life.

“Izuku?” Your manservant ceased his movement, eagerly giving his attention to you.

“Yes, my Queen?” His eyes tried to reach yours; however, they remained on the paper within your hands, slightly crinkled from when your restraint broke.

“You would tell me when I am wrong” Your irises slowly slid to his frame; pupils almost swallowed into the depths of your eye color. A shiver ran down his back . “right?”

“Y-yes, my Queen.” He didn’t dare to flinch under your gaze, which stared at him longer than what was comfortable. You ended your stare by closing your eyes, giving him a wide smile before rising from your love seat, slipping the parchment in your sleeve. Your steps passed straight by his still frozen figure until they had reached the door frame.

“Midoriya, my faithful servant.” Your voice echoed through the room like a skillful siren. His attention remained on you as you continued to speak.

“I want you in the main dining hall by eight on the dot. Please don’t be late.” You left before he could properly bow at your command.

The barren halls laughed at you, pricking your mentality, forming pairs of figures every few columns you passed. A maid was pressed against the left column just a while ago, arms wrapped around the pale neck of your husband, his arms around her peasant waist.

The one you just passed? The same maid laid her hands on Keigo’s face, smoothing out his goatee’s hairs, and he allowed her to.

The entrance of the dining hall up ahead held your heart’s worst fear. An exchange of breath, love, and intimacy that should be sacred between those wedded. Your mind pictured the peacock vase at the entrance shattering on your behalf, impaling the two’s skin. The imaginary screams were like wine to your ears as you finally entered the hall.

The area was warmed by the marble light of the great chandelier,everything was covered with the golden gleam, hiding the little splatters of deep red in the floor. A mint haired maid captured your attention.

“Your Majesty? I apologize, but the dining room is not finished for tonight’s dinner.” Her brown eyes stared at you nervously; her chubby cheek showed where her teeth bit into its flesh.

“Oh, no worries, I am just looking for now.” The fake smile stuck itself to your face as you examined the long dining table. Only a handful of food were fixated on the top.

“You make excellent food here, Cara. What beautiful carvings in the baby carrots.” You quirked up, noticing she stiffed at your last words.

“Of course, my work is only done best for you, y-your Majesty.” Your practiced laugh came through the room, instilling superficial relief in the maid.

“But I must ask, are you eating some as you cook? You’ve gotten wider in the last months.” Your hand took her chin; curious eyes roamed her plump face as she blushed by the attention.

“Haha, y-yes, I’ve been eating a little more than usual.” Her gaze shuffled to anywhere but you. She was such a terrible liar.

“As long as you’re not eating for two.” You threw your head back; melodious laughter exhausted your stomach pit. Cara barely joined in with her nervous laughter, face breaking red in embarrassment.

“Did I hear my little bird’s beautiful laughter?” The kingly presence broke into the room. Which one? You kept your tongue as Keigo wrapped you into a kiss, which sadly set your heart on fire. Your lips separated, trained eye watching as his own sneakily trailed to the kitchen maid. Your smile dulled before brightening .

“My King, I have exciting news for you.” Your face snuggled into his palm on your cheek. Hawks eyes gleamed like the most gilded of plates.

“Hm? Well, love, don’t keep me on my toes. Let me hear it.” You relished in his arms wrapped around your midsection before pulling out of his embrace, bopping him on the nose.

“That’s the purpose.o keep you anxious until the grand reveal.” Your smile started to burn your cheeks as you watched the room’s bustle, preparing for a grand disaster.

Violins and Cellos played throughout the dining hall as the dinner began. The long table set with food separated you and Keigo, each taking the farthest end. Playful looks and banters were exchanged between the two as the servants lined against the walls, ready for even the most subtle commands. After laughing at one of Keigo’s pun, you clapped, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Well, it was all a joyous evening, but I must bring attention to the evening’s highlight: the surprise.” Hawks quirked up in curiosity. The rest of the maids and Midoriya exchanged curious glances but did not say a word. You rose from your seat, hand gliding across the table’s surface.

“As you know, I am a lady of chastity, not by will, but by curse.” Your steps drew closer to your king.

“My father wishes nothing of seeing me carrying a little one. You, my king, are a young man, one who’s drive is active. A man who wishes to grow old with children around as you said at our first ball.” You were only a mere meter away from his seated figure, close enough to watch his adam’s apple bob in nervousness.

“Yes? But my little bird, why is this such an important announcement.”

“Be patient, my love. I am getting to that.” You were half a meter away from him now; his brow held the slightest furrow in them. Cara shuffled in the corner of your eye.

“Well, I begged my father, being of a monogamous nation, and it was hard. Harems were long abandoned in the kingdom of Braavos, but I did it.” You pulled from your sleeves the parchment paper and gave it to Keigo, whose eyes were full of anxiety. He opened the scroll to read.

“In the Kingdom of Fukuoka, the King will have the privilege of a harem, up to 20 women. He will be able to officially appear with them at balls, sleep with them, and—” his eyes flicker to you with shock before rereading what was written. “—procreate with them.”

You smiled before pointing to the end of the paper.

“Only if the Queen, rightfully crowned and inaugurated, is given the parenthood of all children birthed by the harem. The Queen will also be able to have a harem of her own, whether sexually or not.”

Hawks’ wings rose, eyes looking at you in disbelief. You lifted his face close to yours.

“Don’t worry, love. I only have eyes for you. Though,what happened to equality and freedom? The two things you fight for?” Your eyes flickered to Cara, whose face was red with anger. Keigo already took the pen from your sleeves and signed the paper.

“S-stop! This law c-can’t pass !” Her voice broke the cheery atmosphere, riddling it with confusion. The maids began to whisper frantically. You rose a brow at her outburst.

“And why is that? You have no say in royal affairs, kitchen maid.” Her eyes began to water, falling down her fat cheeks onto her fabric.

“P-please, d-don’t take my baby.” The room fell deadly silent after her plea. You ripped your hands from Hawks’ body, face morphing in shock.

“What do you mean, ‘your baby’?” Your eyes turned to Hawks, who sat silent. You could see the gears turning in his head to construct a lie.

“Hawks. What does she mean ‘your baby’?” His gears steamed before stopping abruptly, giving up on filing an excuse. His hands reached out to hold you.

“I can explain.” You moved quickly out of his range before halting him in his tracks.

“You can explain? Do you know how embarrassing that is to me? If it’s true, you’ve been cheating on me for months! Knowing that I couldn’t even bear for you!” Your heart pained you as the night you found out, reliving the shock and betrayal over again.

You were breaking character. Taking a deep breath, you turned away from your husband, a tear slowly streaking your face.

“We’ll talk about this when there aren't any spectators. Cara, bring out the special wine I’ve asked you to make for the celebration. I hope you two are happy.” Cara still stood on the spot, by fear and resistance. You turned to her; wide eyes staring straight into her soul.

“Now.” She ran to the kitchen, hand over mouth to hide her whimpers.

“Midoriya, help the pregnant lady out. It’ll be a shame if she broke her back or something.” Midoriya jumped up, running in the same direction as Cara.

“(Y/n), let me explain please—”

“There is nothing to explain; just enjoy your wine and celebrate.” The bitter sarcasm rolling off your tongue in waves. Cara and Midoriya entered the hall. Her eyes strong with will and face wiped of tears. Midoriya poured the wine for Hawks, filling his chalice to the brim. The winged king sighed and took an immediate gulp. You immediately turned to Cara, your eyes evoking sadness.

“I can’t even be in the same place as you two right now.” You stormed out of the dining room, leaving only the sounds of your shoes hitting the floor.

The candle lights flickered as Hawks entered your shared bedroom, dressed and cleaned for bed. You sat on your loveseat from the afternoon, now twirling a diamond ring on your finger. As he stood in front of you, your eyes remained on your hand.

“My love please forgive m—”

“Why?” You looked up at him; pupils dilated.

“Why should I?” He stepped back, startled to see the pain he had inflicted on you. He stared into your wide eyes for a moment longer until he knelt down, knees touching the red carpet’s wool. His hands clasped your own stopping the continuous twirl of your marriage symbol before wetting his dry lips.

“For a young royal bachelor, I was loved by all types of power-hungry men and women; they flocked me with compliments, ideas, whispers, promises. But you, you were the one that saw who I was behind my status, a young boy who lost his parents. A coward put into the place of a king before he could even blink. You saw the real me, and still, you didn’t turn away. We both embrace our vulnerabilities from each other, and if—” His Adam's apple bobbed, throat restricting as a tear fell from his eye. You shuffled in discomfort, your own tears brimming at his speech.

“—if I could take back what I had done, I would do so immediately, within a heartbeat. But she bears my child, and I...I can’t leave it as my father left me.” His neck strained to look up at you, forcing himself not to choke down a cry.

You laid your other hand on his own. Your tears were staining your cheek as you nodded your head frantically, taking him in your arms. He pulled you into a kiss, minty breath intertwining with your own as the candle flames swayed with the emotions.

The scream you let out in the morning had maids and guards rushing to your room. King Takami Keigo was found dead after you both went to sleep. Few hours from the coroner revealed he died of poison.

You walked down the winding stairs of the dungeon with Midoriya by your side. The last cell held a meager amount of light, only showing the mint green hair of Cara. She jumped at the sounds of your footsteps. You ambled up until the bars could touch your toes.

“To kill your very own king is a crime punishable by death.” She wracked in the chains, trying to get closer to you.

“I didn’t kill him! I swear it wasn’t me!”

“It wasn’t you?” You took the chalice from Midoriya, holding it up to the ceiling as if you were inspecting it.

“This was the last thing he consumed before coming to bed, so the maids say.” Your eyes turned back to the ex-kitchen maid who burst into tears; head bowed in shame.

“Everything has pointed to you, but I understand. I’d kill if the love of my life betrayed me too. I’d use the same exact poison too, Aqua Tofana, the famous poison used by many hurt women to end their lovers.” Her head creaked back to your figure, eyes widening with the growing smirk on your face.

“Although the law states you should serve immediate death, I don’t want that precious baby to go along with you. It’s my last semblance of Keigo, after all. So, as Queen of Fukuoka, I have decided to spare you until the baby has been born. You will stay in this jail cell with ample nursing so my child will be born safe and healthy. That is all.”

You and Midoriya left the dark dungeon, Cara’s screams echoing through the hollow area. Your smirk never softening as you climbed up the stairs, hand still holding Keigo's chalice.

Midoriya laid anxious the whole time. After all, he was guilty of killing the king, adding the poison to the wine when Cara wasn’t looking. His silence finally broke.

“My Queen? Why did you make me...do that?” You halted your steps, pondering as you looked at the golden chalice.

“Keigo would’ve never loved me again. She gave him what I couldn’t, a child to love. He would’ve rather played father with an actual mother, a mother who’d know how to love a child. So I had to stop that before I lost my throne.” Your fingers skimmed the actual feather-covered by gold on the cup, feeling its ridges and bumps.

“Izuku?”

“Yes, my Queen?”

“You would tell me when I’m wrong, right?

“Yes, my Queen.”

[seokmingiggles]

rainbow.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female reader

Genre: angst, some scattered fluff, established relationship, soulmate!au (where you can see colour from the moment you meet your soulmate).

5.96k words

Warnings: brief mention of alcohol consumption, [spoilers: unmentioned illness (however, I allude to Lymphoma [a type of cancer] that has spread to other areas), major character death.]

There are countless tales of the lengths people go to when finding their soulmate, yet significantly fewer of the aftermath. You thought your life began when fate led you to your soulmate, but why does it feel like it’s ending all of a sudden?

Alternatively, not all wishes come true. Even when Jungkook tries to convince you otherwise.

A/N: This piece is likely going to be my last longer one for a while as I’m returning back to school for my winter semester. Expect my updates to be significantly more sparse than they have been for the past few weeks. Other than that, I’m so glad I began to post my writings online. It’s still bizarre to me that actual people are reading them?? If you enjoy (or have constructive criticism for) any of my pieces, please, never be shy to let me know!! I absolutely adore hearing your opinion on what I’ve created. With that said, gosh, I cried while doing my research to write this one.

If you are looking for a cute, fluffy soulmate!au, this may not be a suitable fic for you. Yes, there are some fluffy moments, but it overall contains heavy themes that may be triggering to some. If you’re looking for a fluffy soulmate!Jungkook drabble, the first portion of 1k words contains no angst, along with the three italicized sections.

•• Your soulmate. Soulmate. Even the word sounded magical; a mate bound to your soul.

Growing up, you were the cliché little girl who would endlessly dream about seeing colour for the first time at the instant your eyes locked with a certain someone across the room. Just imagining some above force drawing you to them sounded magical.

And, to a certain extent, it did happen that way when you met yours.

Not-exactly in the storybook-way you pictured, but you felt strangely drawn to a particular boy back in your second year of university. Your childhood friend, Chaeyoung, had convinced you to attend some end-of-semester party on campus. To be fair, that's where you met your other closest friend to this day.

The boy was sat on a couch, looking uninterested and unimpressed by the events happening around him. Chaeyoung, as much as you love her, had run off with another one of her classmates, leaving you floundering in the pool of sweaty bodies and loud music. So, you made your way to the sofa and sat next to the expressionless boy, who you came to know as Yeosang.

You didn't expect him to begin talking to you with the blank gaze he was displaying prior to you taking a seat, but you're happy it turned out that way. After that party, Yeosang joined your duo with Chaeyoung; the three of you would come to have plenty of fun together.

Though, it was at that same party where you also met Jungkook.

After chatting with Yeosang for who knows how long, your small bladder eventually needed relief from the few drinks you had. You excused yourself and wandered around the unfamiliar house in search of a bathroom. It was a large space with multiple floors, perhaps belonging to one of your campus fraternities, but you found yourself walking like you knew exactly where to go.

You ended up upstairs, where it was significantly more quiet than the bustling main floor. Only a few scattered couples kissing in the hallways or leading another to someone's bedroom crossed your path.

You managed to find a vacant washroom, much to your delight. But upon opening the bathroom door after you had finished, you were met with a handsome—albeit unfamiliar—face.

And also with a flood of colour for the first time in your life.

You and the stranger were both dumbfounded for a moment. It was only until he broke the silence and said, "Look, you don't know how happy I am to have found you, but I really, really, need to pee. So, if you don't mind–"

Those were the first words that Jungkook had spoken to you.

And in that instant, despite the slightly awkward, non-picture-perfect meeting, you were nothing less than smitten from that day forth.

Things between you and Jungkook went swimmingly after your first introductions. You two were soulmates; after all, it was only natural to get along. You had more in common with the boy than you would have guessed.

Your first couple of dates were much better than anything you had imagined them to be. Despite the cheesiness of a dinner and a movie for your first date or the loudness of your second arcade date, you were already looking forward to spending a future with Jungkook.

The first time he kissed you was like nothing else you've ever felt. Fireworks were an understatement. It was like all the stars in the universe had aligned perfectly, and all you could see were each and every constellation in Jungkook's eyes the moment he pulled away.

You were far beyond smitten at that point.

But what you didn't expect upon meeting Jungkook was how your vision would be impacted so greatly. Yes, you had heard about how wonderful a world of colour was, and yes, that was one of the things you had been looking forward to upon finding your soulmate; however, you could never have imagined just how vibrant the world really was.

You knew you were lucky to find your soulmate in your twenties. There were too many people who went countless years or even their whole lives without finding theirs, and you happened to meet yours only after a couple of decades into your life. It made you excited to spend the rest of your time by Jungkook's side. It would be a future where both of you would admire the process of the sky: shifting its palette in the evening to paint the clouds in an awe-inspiring gradient. Or seeing the luscious ruby-red strawberries adorning his favourite cake on each of his birthdays as the years passed together. Seeing the swirling brown of his irises, too, was one of your favourite sights after being able to see colour.

Your life became nothing short of a rainbow. Every day felt magical being with Jungkook; being with your soulmate.

Before you knew it, you celebrated your first year together. Then two. Then a few more until you both graduated from university. You eventually found a little apartment to call home at around the same time; it made sense to move in together. Previously, both of you had roommates during your schooling years. Although now, living together only seemed natural when you knew you'd eventually get married one day.

And living with Jungkook was nothing but natural.

Waking up next to your boyfriend was better than you could have imagined. Seeing his cute, groggy face puffy with sleep was the most endearing thing to you, and he thought the exact same way when he'd wake before you on the rare occasion.

It was like a little insight into how the rest of your life would be.

Your heart would uncontrollably flutter every time Jungkook would approach you from behind and gently wrap his arms around your torso as you worked at the stove. Or the way he'd sometimes comb your damp hair after a shower, making sure to pepper little kisses to your neck or cheek in the process. Your heart had never felt so full until Jungkook had unexpectedly made his way into your life.

And you're forever elated that he did.

•

"Which one do you think looks better on me?" Chaeyoung held up two shirts to her torso.

You examined both pieces and felt the fabric before saying, "I think I prefer the red one," referring to the shirt on the left.

You and your two best friends were spending a sunny day off just wandering around the streets downtown. It was your chance to explore the little cafes you would keep driving by or window-shopping at the cute boutiques you'd see. Chaeyoung had dragged you and Yeosang into one of the stores when a mannequin's outfit in the display case caught her eye.

"No, I think the blue one is nicer," Yeosang interjected as he pointed to the second option.

You hummed, reconsidering your answer, "Actually, yeah, you're right. I think you should get the blue one."

Chaeyoung inspected both tops once more, "Okay, blue it is."

The three of you walked to the cashier for the girl to make her purchase, leaving the store shortly after to continue on your way.

"You're both so lucky to have found your soulmates already," she beamed at the two of you as you passed by another shop.

"You'll find yours eventually, Chae," Yeosang added. "Seeing colour for the first time will blow your mind."

You only nodded in agreement and returned their smiles.

Your stomach had been feeling slightly off since this morning, but you ignored the feeling in pursuit of seeing your friends for the first time in a while. Yet now, the unsettling feeling seemed to be growing stronger.

"Hey, guys," you rubbed the back of your neck, "I'm not feeling too well all of a sudden. I think I might be coming down with something. I'm sorry to ditch you so early, but I should head home."

"Do you want a ride back?" Yeosang offered, being the only of the three of you to have a car.

"No, it's okay. The bus runs pretty frequently. I don't want to bother you."

You waved goodbye before either of them had a chance to protest and began walking to the nearest bus stop.

You weren't necessarily feeling sick; that was a lie. Or, rather, you suddenly felt like you had been struck by a tsunami. An overwhelming sensation of swirling nauseousness and anxiety began brewing beneath your skin. You clasped your hands together to prevent them from visibly shaking once you'd taken a seat on the bus.

You were uncertain of what was happening to you so suddenly.

However, you did know that that shirt looked awfully grey, not blue.

Now that you think of it, the sky above you appeared duller too.

•

"Hey, Guk, come look at this!"

Jungkook followed the sound of your voice and turned down the neighbouring aisle, only to see you holding up a folded square of checkered material.

"It's on clearance, too!" you said with excitement.

Your boyfriend stepped closer to you and took the blanket into his hands. "What is it?"

"What do you mean, 'What is it?' It's a picnic blanket, you goof," you took the square and flipped it over to see the image on the cardboard package of how it would look unfolded. "I've always thought the idea of those picnic dates is adorable. Cheesy, but adorable."

Jungkook admired your smile as you continued to read the supposed 'features' of the blanket.

"It's got a water-resistant bottom all while the top is a thick and soft flannel. It's also apparently easily foldable with a carrying strap." You continued to scan the list of details, "And look, it's machine washable! I think it's a good one." You turned your attention to the boy stood next to you, "What do you think?"

Jungkook wouldn't have been able to wipe the adoring smile off his face no matter how hard he tried.

"You're so cute," he mumbled and pulled you into a hug in the middle of the store.

"That's nice," your voice was muffled against Jungkook's chest, "but what do you think of the blanket?" You wiggled your arm free from his hold to display the picnic blanket once more, examining his face for his reaction.

Jungkook felt the fabric before saying, “It's soft. Yeah, I think it's a good one.”

“'It's soft,'” you repeated his statement. "That's all you have to say about it?"

"I can't say I'm a connoisseur of picnic blankets or anything, my love."

"Well, neither am I, but I'm sure I can think of more adjectives to describe it other than 'it's soft.'"

The boy encouraged you to come up with some.

"For starters, look how colourful it is! It's like a plaid rainbow in a fun little bundle."

Your words made Jungkook laugh, causing you to giggle too.

"Okay," you admitted, "maybe I'm no picnic blanket connoisseur either."

Jungkook admired your rosy cheeks from laughing. "Let's buy it," he said. "Going on picnics with you sounds like fun." He pulled you close once more, "Actually, anything as long as I'm with you sounds like fun."

“Does that mean you’ll sleepover tonight?”

The boy pretended like it was some philosophical question before breaking out into a smile, “Yeah, I’ll sleepover tonight.”

•

You did your best to keep that instance of a colourless sky and grey shirt to yourself for days. When Yeosang and Chaeyoung texted you later that day to check on you, you told them you felt better after having a nap.

And it was true, but not the full truth.

You blamed what you saw on a lack of sleep. It was just your tired eyes playing tricks on you; it had to have been. That previous night, you and Jungkook had gotten distracted by watching a few episodes of a show together, not realizing how late it had become.

So, when you went to lie down upon returning to your apartment that afternoon, you silently prayed that when you'd wake, you'd be able to see a complete colour spectrum once more.

It only broke your heart when that wasn't the case.

You crumpled onto the floor after staring up at the monochromatic sky extending above you; not an ounce of blue could be found between the clouds, nor all the way to the horizon.

You were dreading talking with Jungkook about it.

The day you first were able to see in colour when you met him, never did you anticipate that one day they would begin to fade.

Could you have rushed into things too quickly? Did you love him more than he loves you?

Has he fallen out of love with you?

Regardless of the possibility, seeing the colours begin to disappear couldn't have meant anything good.

That's when you'd decided to hide it from anyone, especially from the boy you loved with nothing less than your full heart and entire being.

Perhaps feigning ignorance could make the hue return. At the least, it was wishful thinking.

When Jungkook returned home that evening, you pretended like nothing was wrong. When he'd asked about your outings with your best friends, you'd said how nice it was to see them again.

You even showed him the nail polish you bought for him when the other week he said how he was interested in trying some for himself; after seeing your nails decorated so prettily.

Despite the name of the bottle's shade reading Ebony Midnight, you found yourself doubting the colour. You second-guessed if it actually was black like you intended or some confusing and ambiguous tint of navy blue.

Jungkook kissed your cheek and told you how excited he was for the upcoming weekend when you'd have the time to paint his nails for him.

Yet, a few days later—on both of your days off—when your boyfriend came up to you with the nail polish bottle in hand, you found yourself brimming with tears uncontrollably.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, love?"

You stepped back from Jungkook's advancement towards you.

"(Y/N)?"

His eyes held nothing but concern for you, and yet you still doubted his authenticity.

"Jungkook," you whispered, "what colour is that nail polish?"

The boy examined the small glass bottle. "It's black," he said like it was an obvious fact. He looked at it closer. "Wait, no, it almost looks dark blue in certain lighting."

All of the oxygen depleted from your lungs. You clasped your hand around your mouth as you wept, your eyes clamping shut both in frustration and in fear.

You felt Jungkook's arms wrap around you, pulling you into his chest and gently rubbing your back.

"Please," his voice was small, "can you tell me what's wrong? If it's because you got blue when I asked for black, that's not a big deal, love. I'm so happy you remembered when I told you about it. And I still want to use it! I could barely tell when I looked at it–"

"I can't see blue anymore."

Jungkook halted his ministrations on your back, tensing at your words.

"And I'm afraid to know what it means," you continued, struggling to find your words. "Do you not love me anymore? Am I not really your soulmate?"

Your boyfriend pulled away slightly so he could look at your face properly; tear-stained and all. "(Y/N), please. I love you more than anything in this world. Never forget that." He brushed away a stray tear falling down your cheek.

"Then why are my colours fading? I've never heard of that happening before..." You furrowed your eyebrows in thought. Another reason suddenly popped into your head. "Unless–"

You didn't let yourself finish that sentence. Your eyes met Jungkook's only to find his expression had become more solemn.

"No," you whispered. "Please, no. Don't tell me– I-It can't be–"

Jungkook said nothing and pulled you back closer to him. You squeezed the boy so tightly, sobs shaking your body. He hugged you back as he silently began to cry.

"Could we not talk about it right now?" his voice was quiet. "We're still doing some tests to rule out what it could be, so I don't have much information for you."

You nodded your head.

The two of you stayed in each other's embrace. Jungkook swayed your bodies slightly: a gentle rocking motion to help calm you down.

"Can you still paint my nails today?"

You forced a smile on your face over the tears that had spilled and were threatening to continue. "Of course."

You took Jungkook's hand and made your way to the couch, swallowing nausea from the information with which you'd just been burdened. While it was vague, it was heavy, nonetheless.

That night, you were having difficulties falling asleep. Jungkook kept tossing and turning by your side; he'd kick and move the blanket around too.

"Hey," you whispered, finding his shoulder in the darkness. "Are you okay?"

Jungkook sighed and brought his hand on top of yours, "I'm really warm. Too warm."

You could feel the clamminess of his hand.

"And I keep feeling itchy," he added. "The blanket isn't helping—it's making me warm and itchy and–"

"Okay, okay," you soothed him before he'd become too frustrated. You sat up and removed the duvet from his body. "Do you think a cool shower would help?"

There was silence while Jungkook thought. He rubbed his tired eyes and replied, "I can try," before standing from the bed.

"Hey," you grabbed his hand before he could walk away, "I love you."

"I love you too."

You heard the smile in his voice.

"Now, get some sleep, beautiful," Jungkook leant down to place one kiss on your forehead, then one to your lips.

You listened to the sound of your boyfriend's footsteps receding from your bedroom. Shortly after, the faucet came to life, and finally, the sound of the shower curtain dragged closed.

What you didn't hear was Jungkook allowing himself to cry in the shower.

•

The weather had been stormier lately.

Jungkook was waiting to surprise you with an adorable, little picnic to celebrate your university graduation; however, the weather had other plans.

There were some days where he'd check the weather forecast multiple times to see if there would be an upcoming opportunity to see clear skies and sunshine.

But every time, he was met with that dull, grey rain symbol on his phone.

Jungkook had had enough. Screw the weather, he thought, we'll have this goddamn picnic if it's the last thing I do; indoors if we must.

You were sleeping in on the day after your last exam. It gave your boyfriend the optimal chance to set up your living room with the checkered blanket and wicker basket after running out quickly to get some flowers. The boy had an artistic eye. After pushing aside some of the remaining cardboard boxes from the move, he was proud of the final arrangement of breakfast foods and the occasional tasteful scattered petal on the blanket. He even took advantage of some of the smaller pillows from the couch to make the set-up even cozier.

Jungkook began to anticipate your reaction, growing gradually more excited. He carefully made his way to your shared bedroom to wake you from your peaceful slumber.

"(Y/N)," he cooed, brushing away some stray hairs that fell onto your face while you slept.

You hummed at the feeling of his touch, slowly adjusting to the light seeping through the curtains. Once your eyes finally opened, you were met with Jungkook's affectionate gaze at you.

"Good morning, my beautiful love," he leant down to peck you.

"Gross!" you pushed him away, jokingly. "You're not allowed to kiss me until I've brushed my teeth." You sat up with a playful grin on your face. You lifted your arms, "Carry me?"

Jungkook chuckled as he stood from the bed, "Oh, so you call me gross, but now you want me to carry you to the bathroom?"

Despite his words, the boy moved in to wrap his arms around your torso, effectively picking you up.

"No, I wasn't calling you gross," you said as he brought you to the washroom, "it was the act of kissing me with my yucky morning breath. That was gross."

Jungkook placed you down once you were in the room. His arms never left your sides.

"I don't suppose you're going to ask if I can brush your teeth for you too, are you?"

You picked up your toothbrush, wetting the bristles and adding some toothpaste, "So sassy today, Guk," and began brushing your teeth.

The boy only smiled, wrapping his arms around you once again and squeezing your smaller frame in his strong embrace.

Once you finished washing up, Jungkook told you to close your eyes as he pulled you into the living room, bursting with excitement.

"Promise me you won't make me run into the couch or a wall or box or something," you mumbled as he pulled on your free hand; your other one was covering your eyes.

Jungkook giggled but complied with your promise.

Eventually, you felt him stop in front of you, making sure you wouldn't crash into his back. Beneath your feet, you felt the cold wooden floor of your living room.

"You can open them now," he muttered into your ear along with a gentle kiss.

And when you did, you saw the beautiful arrangement of treats and flowers all sat upon the old picnic blanket, surrounded by the final few boxes you'd yet to unpack. It was the same blanket you bought before you moved in together when you claimed that you'd love to go on a picnic date with him one day.

When you made that purchase, never would you have guessed that its first use would be in your newly-shared apartment inside on a rainy day.

"What's all this for?" you felt strangely emotional at the sentiment.

"It's for you, (Y/N)," he pulled you into his arms once more. "Happy graduation. I'm so proud of you."

Jungkook leaned down to kiss you properly for the first time that morning. His thumb traced the shell of your ear as he smiled into the kiss, feeling the way one of your hands clasped the back of his shirt while your other one threaded through his hair.

"You're incredible, Jungkook," you whispered as you broke from the kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he returned the sentiment and gave you another quick kiss. He took your hand and led you onto the blanket where you sat side-by-side.

"You know," you began as he mixed around the assorted fruits he chopped up earlier, "if we had a dog like you said you wanted, all this food wouldn't have been able to be left out on the floor."

Jungkook stopped fiddling with the fruit salad as he processed your words. "I still want a dog," he said simply and continued to stir. "But you're right. It would be a lot more challenging," he fed you a strawberry, "like having a baby."

"Dogs are like big babies," you chimed-in with a smile.

The two of you continued to snack while sat on the blanket. Small conversations and giggles were all that could be heard within the walls of your apartment. The atmosphere was significantly brighter than the downpour that continued outside.

"Do you think we'll see a rainbow today?" Jungkook asked as you both were now leaning against the base of the couch.

You were still clad in your pyjamas and him in his leisurewear.

"Maybe, if this rain ever stops," you replied. "Maybe if the sun shows itself."

"Maybe."

Jungkook brought the back of your hand to his lips, then laced his fingers between yours while the two of you continued to watch the rain.

•

"Do you have any nail polish remover?"

You heard Jungkook's footsteps approaching you in your bedroom, looking up to see his figure appearing in the doorway.

"Are you tired of how it looks already?" you smiled gently at him.

The boy shook his head. "Actually, I'm not allowed to have painted nails for tomorrow when I go to the hospital."

Your smile faded. "Oh, right. T-that's right. Um..." you got off the bed and trekked to the bathroom with Jungkook in tow. You opened the cabinet beneath the sink to find the little bottle. "Here you go. I have some cotton balls too to use with it. Do you need help with this too?"

"No, I should be able to do it myself."

"Okay," your hand found its way onto Jungkook's back, your thumb rubbed his shoulder. "Make sure you do it in a well-ventilated area."

"Thank you," he smiled.

Yet, you could tell his expression was only fleeting.

You were afraid. No, you were petrified of what tomorrow would bring.

Jungkook had been going through more testing lately, although you were still in the dark from it all. He kept giving you the same statements: "We're still figuring out what it could be," or "We're still not sure yet."

They were all just different versions of "I don't want to tell you because I don't want to worry you."

You still worried regardless.

You and Jungkook stood by the front door where you hugged him before he left for his recurrent hospital visit.

"Maybe you could paint my nails again when I come home tonight," he suggested, inhaling the scent of your shampoo for his memory as he held you in his embrace.

"Maybe," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

Before you knew it, Jungkook was once again out the door.

It was only when you were alone that you'd let yourself cry. You knew you needed to stay strong for his sake. Being on the receiving end of a life-threatening disease was hard enough; you didn't want to make his experience any more challenging. Although, you still didn't know for sure if that's what it was.

Jungkook exited his car once he arrived at the familiar tall building. He stepped into the elevator and pressed the familiar button, and eventually turned left down the familiar hallway to the waiting room.

He was shortly after ushered into his doctor's office, taking a seat in the squeaky and uncomfortable and all-too-familiar grey chair.

His doctor soon after entered the room.

"How are you feeling today, Jungkook?" she greeted him with a gentle voice, taking a seat in front of her desk in the corner of the room.

"My headaches are becoming more frequent," he began. "I also haven't had much of an appetite either, and sometimes, it's difficult to breathe," he stated with furrowed eyebrows. "I've overall felt more tired lately. That might be the biggest thing—my lack of energy."

Dr. Kim hummed and jotted down some notes. "Have you told your soulmate anything yet?"

Jungkook shook his head, "No, I try not to. I don't want to stress her."

The doctor sat upright once again, finishing her writings. "You may want to reconsider that choice," she cleared her throat. "Your cells haven't been responding to the antibiotics as we'd like them to. Perhaps, if we had caught it sooner–"

"But we didn't." Jungkook's voice was firm. "We didn't, and this is my life now. We try, and we fail, and we repeat the cycle over and over." He took a deep breath. "As soon as you told me the diagnosis, I suspected I wouldn't make it for much longer. I suspected that I wouldn't get to live the future that I've dreamt of." His features softened as you entered his mind. "The future that I've wished for." Jungkook paused, then considered, "Can I spend my final days—however long I have—with my soulmate?"

Dr. Kim's eyes remained on Jungkook's. "Are you certain? Because there's another procedure we could try. It would require you to stay here in the hospital, and there would be risks associated with it due to the stage you're in, but it's the last one we can offer you."

"I'm sure." The boy didn't hesitate. "I'm positive. I just want to be with her," he felt himself tearing up. "She already knows that something is wrong. I don't want to tell her that my MRI is practically all made up of black-voids." Jungkook bitterly wiped away the tear that fell, "She's losing her colours. She knows I'm dying."

"So you'd like to spend the rest of your time at home with her?" Dr. Kim clarified.

"More than anything."

•

"Surprise!"

Jungkook's hands lifted from your eyes.

"What's all of this?" you asked with a smile.

"For you, silly."

You giggled, looking between the array of treats displayed on the picnic blanket and your beautiful boyfriend. "I kind of figured that, Guk. But why?"

"Do I need a reason to treat you, my love?" Jungkook pulled you close to him, "I felt bad about the last time when we were stuck inside from the rain. I wanted to try again, properly, this time."

"But do you see all of this?" You gestured to the container next to you, "We couldn't finish everything you prepared last time, but you still got a cake for today! Do you expect the two of us to eat an entire cake along with everything else you've packed?"

The boy chuckled, "Come on, (Y/N), it's not that big of a cake. I'm sure we can finish it all no problem." He popped open the plastic container, eager to taste it. "And if not, then we'll have some to eat for tomorrow."

His logic was reasonable, you considered.

Jungkook picked up a fork and dug it into the side of the strawberry cake, only to bring the utensil up to your lips to give you the first bite.

"How is it?" your boyfriend asked, trying to gauge your expression as you chewed.

"Absolutely delicious," was your muffled response.

Jungkook reached up to wipe off the speck of whipped cream from the corner of your mouth before feeding himself a forkful.

"It is delicious!" he said with delight as the strawberry flavour danced across his tastebuds. "I may not know how to make a cake, but I sure know how to pick a good one."

"Ah, yes, picking good cakes is a valuable life skill to have," you playfully teased, admiring the way Jungkook continued to inhale more of the dessert.

The two of you laid back on the blanket after working your way through some of the treats (and about half of the cake; it was more than you anticipated you two would be able to finish in one sitting). Your head was resting on Jungkook's chest while he played with the ends of your hair as the two of you admired the heavens.

The sky was immaculately blue with picture-perfect white fluffy clouds decorating it. Jungkook was getting nervous when he woke up to rain that morning, knowing he had all of the preparations ready for the picnic. But now, the post-rain summer afternoon left a comfortable temperature with the sun high in the sky, warming the grass and gradually working its way to kiss the horizon.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

You glanced upwards from your position on Jungkook's upper body.

His eyes remained fixated on the sky as he asked softly, "Would you like to get married?"

The grin on your face was immediate at hearing his question. "Without a doubt, yes."

Jungkook beamed back at you and hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head.

"This isn't a proposal because I don't have the ring yet," he muttered into your hair, "but you already make me the happiest man alive. I can only imagine how incredible our future will be, (Y/N)." You felt him squeeze you slightly tighter. "There's nothing more that I want than to grow old with you by my side."

You felt yourself getting emotional at his words. "When the time comes that you do propose, know that it's already a yes." You propped yourself up so you could move to meet Jungkook's mouth with your own, caressing the side of his face while his hand continued to fiddle with your hair.

Jungkook grinned into the kiss. In all the years he's spent kissing you, the act never failed to pull butterflies from his chest.

You eventually pulled away only to see the light pink dusting across your boyfriend's cheeks with matching rosy lips. You could spend all day admiring him, and he, likewise, could do the same with watching you.

You once again nuzzled into his side with an arm around his torso, returning your gaze to the sky. It was beginning to shift into a radiant, golden-colour the lower the sun fell; the clouds reflected the light, displaying a gentle wash of coral-pink.

You're forever grateful for all of the dazzling colours which Jungkook brought into your life.

Goosebumps tingled throughout your body at the way the boy so gently grazed his fingers along your arm. The outside air was growing chillier with the depleting sunlight, yet being pressed against Jungkook supplied you with enough warmth to stay comfortable.

"Hey, look over there," your boyfriend indicated to your left. "Do you see that?"

You lifted your gaze to above where he was pointing.

•

There was a rainbow in the sky on the day that Jungkook died.

You received the dreadful phone call from the hospital early that afternoon. You thought he'd only stepped out for his usual testing. You had been admiring the way the sun finally broke through the dense rain clouds as you were waiting for his return home.

However, minutes before your phone rang, your whole world drained of colour. It was the difference between one blink. One split-second; one moment. You could see the golden sunbeams as they danced down to the concrete below, and then, suddenly, you couldn't. Everything became a varying shade of the asphalt; every hue vanished in that instant.

It was only a few weeks after you painted his nails for the first and last time. Of course, there was no way you'd have known it was the last time then.

Your heart tore into two at thinking how much pain Jungkook must have experienced near the end. He never once complained to you about any of it; he never told you what was wrong. You only found out afterwards from his doctor over the phone.

You nearly missed the sight of the rainbow after you set your phone down: the arc extended above the city in its monochromatic glory in the equally colourless sky.

You could recall the different hues that would make up the once pretty sight.

"You should make a wish, (Y/N)!"

"Make a wish on a rainbow?"

"You've never heard of that before?"

You pulled your eyes from the sight in the sky to your boyfriend's face, "No, never."

"Then today shall be your first."

"Hm, well, alright, Guk."

You sat up on the picnic blanket and clasped your hands together, pressing your eyes shut as you reiterated your wish in your head. Upon opening your eyes once you finished, you were blessed with Jungkook's delicate features gazing at you.

You brushed away some of his hair that fell into his eyes.

"What did you wish for, my love?" Jungkook whispered, leaning into your touch.

You exchanged his glance, admiring his beautiful brown eyes smiling at you, and inched closer so you could kiss him.

But now, you kind of hated rainbows.

"I wished to spend a lifetime with you."

They reminded you of your wishes that would, now, never come true.

"I wished for the exact same thing."

••

[i-need-entertainment]

Just Right

Character: Chronostasis x short reader

*In this story the reader is about 5′0, Chrono is in the 5′9-6′0 range*

*DISCLAIMER, I will do my absolute best to portray a short reader but I can only be so accurate...since I myself am 5′9..BUT I love the idea and will do my best! Thank you to @goblinchild99​ for requesting! I hope you enjoy it!!<3

TW- Mean words from dad, reader self doubts, mentions of insecurities

“Wait…what..?” Your heart shattered as you sat in front of your stone-faced parents. Your family was head of one of the many Yakuza of Japan, and your father was a cold and ruthless man not like your mother was much better. “You will be given to the Shie Hassaikai. What they do with you is none of my concern, but for our sake and for your own, behave. I know you are not wanted because of your…stature…but do not be a bother. I don’t want you being sent back h ere, I cannot imagine the shame you would bring to our name if you upset the new young leader.” 

You held back tears at your father’s decree. ‘Given…? Is that all I’m good for… To be given as a peace treaty when one of my brothers makes a mistake… Why do I have to pay the price for their actions…why am I just being used as compensation?’ Quickly wiping the tear that fell you stood up and left the room, going to your room to pack since you’d be leaving that evening. You sat down on your bed, sobs racking your body as you clutched your small frame. Your whole life you had been treated as an outcast, as the disappointment of the family. All because…because what? Because you were shorter than most? Because you were more ‘petite’? Just because you were small it didn’t make you any less important…any less deserving of love and affection. Instead you were being bargained off for ‘peace’. The sadness you felt was replaced by frustration. You angrily took out a suitcase and filled it with clothes, precious items, and whatever toiletries you knew you’d need. Without saying a word you rolled your suitcase out of your room, where an underling of some sort took it from your, and made your way to your parents. “Goodbye mom…dad…I wish you both the best.” You hugged your mom while your dad gave you a nod. “Make us proud, Y/n.” You held back your tears at your dad’s heartless reply and instead chose to nod, walking out the door and never looking back. After a good 2 ½ hour drive you made it to your new home, the Shie Hassaikai Headquarters. Where you would spend the rest of your life…Now anyone in your position would probably assume the worst..especially being a small female. But you were more afraid of being killed than…that. I mean, Overhaul was a major germaphobe so that stilled some worries you supposed…The car stopped and you shook yourself from your daydreams. Unbuckling your seat belt you exited the car, thanked the driver and made your way to the front gate. There to greet you was a man, who was much taller than you, wearing a white raincoat that reached just below his knees with black shiny boots. But the things that stood out to you the most was the hood he had covering his head, and the mask that covered his face. “Y/n L/n?” You looked up to the man, meekly nodding. He waved over one of the other masked associates, this time a man with a black mask, coat and hat to get your bag. The man in the white coat turned towards you. You couldn’t see his eyes but you could feel them burning holes through you. “Follow me, Overhaul would like to meet you.” You nodded, “But, put this on first…and don’t touch him, I imagine you wouldn’t like to die on your first day here.” You stilled as you shakily took the white medical mask and put it on, clasping your shaking hands together as you followed behind the strangely dressed man. “You don’t talk much…do you?” You looked up as you walked through the dim hallways of the Shie Hassaikai basement. “No…not to strangers, anyway…” You tried your best to sound normal, but you couldn’t deny you were scared. And rightfully so! “Yeah, well that might actually do you well here, you’re less likely to tick him off then.” You made a sound to let him know you understood, still not feeling well enough to answer him with a real response just yet. The two of you stopped at a door. Being raised in a Yakuza family you were no stranger to scary encounters, but this would be the scariest you’ve ever faced by far. Let alone faced by yourself. The man, who you had to have learned his name knocked on the door, answering that ‘L/n was there’ before the boss man told him (and you) to enter. Entering the office you were ushered over to the couch to sit down. So now here you were sitting directly across from a man that could kill you with a single touch. “L/n, I’m sure you know who I am, yes?” You nodded your head, looking down with your hands crossed in your lap. Overhaul may not have been the biggest guy, but he was still easily almost a foot taller than you…not to mention he had a fairly big build. “I won’t lie to you, I wasn’t fond of your fathers implications of why he was sending you here, but I assure you I have no intentions of following through with his original plans.” Your head shot up at this. “You may be small in stature, and it’s true that could be a weakness, but you also have a strong quirk. I’m offering you a place here, amongst me and the precepts…not everyone gets that opportunity. Should you choose to take it you will be taken care of, and your abilities will be praised.” You felt like you could cry, not from fear, but from being…wanted. “So? Will you join the Hassaikai, not as whatever it was your father wanted, but as apart of it?” Your face took on a determined look, “…I’ll do it. I know I’m not the strongest, and I’m not very strong, but I promise to do my best. Thank you..” Overhaul’s expression changed to a happy one. “Wonderful, I am aware of your inability to fight or defend yourself, so I’m putting you directly under Chronostasis,” He motioned for the said man to step forward. “Chrono, become acquainted with her, show her the ropes, teach her to fight, and utilize her natural abilities. Consider her your…assistant for now. Understood?” Chronostasis as you had learned his name was nodded, “Yes sir, come on L/n, I’ll show you around the base.” You nodded, standing up you bowed, “Thank you for this opportunity, I’ll do my best.” Overhaul nodded, walking passed you to his desk. “The pleasure is mine. You both are dismissed.” With that the two of you left the room and started navigating the hallways. “I’ll show you around first before getting started on what you’ll be doing here if that’s okay with you.” You nodded, “That’s fine.” You started walking, while you were talking he showed you the different rooms, which ones to avoid and which ones you’d be spending a lot of time in. “This is my office, which will be yours now too I guess.” He opened the door and stepped in. You didn’t follow. “…I’m sorry…” He turned around, “For what?” You nervously looked down, hands wringing together. “For being a burden…” He sighed, lightly guiding you into the room. “Listen, you’re not a burden, in all seriousness I could use the help, Overhaul gives me too much as it is anyways. And…I have a pretty good idea of how you were treated at your family’s Yakuza, and it kinda ticks me off. So I assure you, you’re not a bother.” You smiled at him, “Thank you…” “Yup.” He shut the door and sat down at his desk, motioning for you to do the same at the couch in the room. Without warning, he removed the mask he had on, the hood falling to his shoulders as he did so. “You can go ahead and take the mask off, I don’t wear mine when I’m not around Overhaul and he doesn’t care as long as you’re not interacting with him.” You sheepishly nodded, desperately trying to hide how flustered you were, because he was attractive. Not just the ‘oh yeah, he's good looking’ kind, more like the ‘Oh my gosh, I think I JUST DIED ‘ kind. He had the perfect proportions of traditional attractiveness and uniqueness to make him that much more appealing to you. He had sharp narrow dark gray-blue eyes, a jawline that could draw blood and a general intensity about him that made your heart stop beating. Remembering you were probably staring you quickly looked away. But something else about him caught your eye…his hair. It was a white silvery color, and medium in length, but as you examined him further you noticed the ends of his hair ended in arrow shapes. “Is that part of your quirk?” His dark eyes met yours, he figured you’d ask, most anyone who had ever seen him asked sooner or later. But when he looked at you, you weren’t looking at him like he was a freak. Your eyes held an innocent and honest curiosity. With no malice to be seen. “I’m sorry if that came off as weird or rude!! It’s just…I’ve never seen anything like it…” He nodded, “It’s fine, I kinda figured you would. My quirk is called Chronostasis. I can extend these clock needle things to pierce someone, but I need to be extremely still. If I do pierce someone I can slow them down, but the length depends on which hand I struck them with. If I use the minute,” He pointed to one of the ‘clock needles’ on the end of his hair, “They’re slowed for a minute, same thing if I use the hour.” He looked at you, noticing your expression. “I know it’s weird but-“ “I don’t think it’s weird.” He looked at you in shock, “You don’t? You can be honest, it’s pretty weird.” You shook your head, that honest and sincere glint never leaving your e/c eyes. “I think they’re really cool…beautiful…even..” In his 22 years of life, no one had ever told him his quirk was cool, let alone beautiful. If words could kill, Chronostasis would probably be dead. The red tint on his cheeks giving aware his flusteredness. “A-Uh..Thanks…What’s your quirk anyway?” “It’s called Seamless…Um basically I can sew without using needles, controlling the threads and what not…but it only works on sewing things, I can’t use it on people or anything..” You looked up, expecting him to be bored only to see interest gleaming in his eyes. “Sounds cool to me, useful too.” Never in your life had you felt so secure, safe, appreciated…it felt good. It felt good to know there were people out there who wanted you, even if it was just for work it still felt nice. Fast forward a bit, you’ve been with the Hassaikai for a year now. You had cemented your place here, and you felt great. You didn’t use your quirk too much, but you did save them a lot of money on clothes. You had also become a lot closer to Chrono, or Kurono Hari as you had learned his name was, and called him in private. You talked a lot, ranting to each other about your problems, spending time together even if it was just doing your own things in silent. It was safe to say the two of you had become good friends, but more than that you had developed feelings for the man. That was why you were on your current mission, making your way to Overhaul’s office. You knocked, and after hearing a ‘come in’ entered. He was sitting at his desk, fiddling with papers and what not. “Ah, L/n, what can I help you with?” You walked to stand in front of his desk, nervously messing with your fingers and fidgeting. “…I came to ask you something…” Overhaul sighed as he set his pen down, leaning to place his chin in his hand, which was propped up on his desk. “Oh? What is it? I take it everything is going fine?” Over the past year besides getting close to Chronostasis, you had also gotten close to Overhaul. Although you noticed he acted very protective of you, like an older brother. You had asked him about it a few months ago, he had simply told you he had met with your father a few years ago when he accompanied a business meeting with Pops. He had seen how you were treated and it made him sick especially because of how much potential you showed. In his own special way, you knew he cared somewhat about you. You nodded your head. “Everything’s fine, great, actually…I need to talk to you about something else…someone else….”. His eyebrow raised in interest, he pretended to act surprised but he had an inkling of why you were really here. “I want your permission to…to…” You opened your mouth to speak but ultimately chose to close it, not really knowing how to go forward. He sighed again, leaning back in his chair while his hands clasped together, resting by his mouth. “Let me guess…you’d like my permission to pursue a relationship with Chronostasis? Am I correct?” You felt heat raise to your face as you stiffened. ‘How did he…?’ “I may seclude myself to this office and limit my interactions with people to a minimum, but I’m not blind. I am well aware of he feelings the both of you have for each other.” You gulped, here it comes…”I don’t care, just don’t let it get in the way of your work. But if it ends the pitiful gazes and flirting between the two of you, by all means, get married for all I care.” Your eyes widened as your brain proceeded to implode. “A-are you sure?! You really don’t mind?!” He looked at you in disbelief before shrugging. “Nope, just don’t do any of that lovey-dovey stuff around me, affection like that makes me nauseas.” You nodded, “I promise.” He nodded and got up, walking you to the door. “…I’m trusting you won’t tell him what I’m about to say but, take care of him…He’s stupidly in love with you, so I know he’ll take care of you, but please be good to him…” You smiled, nodding your head. “I will…wait, did you say he’s in lo-“ “Time for you to go, goodbye L/n.” Before you could refute, he pushed you out of the room, shut the door and locked it. Sighing, you made you way to your and Chrono’s office, finally ready to tell the man of your dreams your feelings. To most you may be considered ‘short’ or ‘small’, and to some they might even think of you as ‘inadequate’ or ‘lesser’ than them. At one point you probably thought Chrono felt that way. (but as you were soon about to find out)But to Chrono? You were just right, just...perfect.

[prettywordsyouleft]

To Be Continued - Part 5

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

Word count: 2174

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

Somehow you had fallen asleep.

You didn’t quite remember when or how, but when you fluttered your eyes open, the sun was casting a warm light across your body. You felt entirely content, and as you stretched out your arms, you found no niggling thoughts or remnants of your cold.

Had it all been a dream?

Searching around yourself for any obvious signs, you slowly rose to your feet, scooting them into your slippers and wrapped your robe around yourself. Padding down to the kitchen calling out Binks’ name, you stopped when you realised your cat was already preoccupied.

With Brian.

You didn’t know what shocked you more. That it hadn’t been a dream after all, or that your cat – who normally went into hiding at the first sign of a male entering your home – was allowing Brian to scratch under his chin affectionately. The loud purr only indicated Binks’ absolute delight by the gesture, and you scoffed loudly, giving both men the notice of your arrival.

“Seems like you’ve made yourself at home,” you pointed out as you rounded the pair to head for the jug to brew some coffee. You blinked when Brian handed you an already prepared mug, still warm to the touch.

He smiled gently. “I was going to make you breakfast but you’ve beaten me to it.”

“You don’t have to make me anything,” you mentioned, a light cough rising in the back of your throat at the thoughtful offer.

You strangely felt wary of relying on Brian already. After his help from not letting you fall face-first to the ground last night, you were a little shaken up by how easily you wanted to enjoy your time around him. If you allowed your mind to wander, the idea of having breakfast together would become your new favourite thing.

You hoped to god he wouldn’t go into any domestic chores in front of you or it would be incredibly hard to rein in your desires.

Staring at the man, you eventually smiled. “Do you feel okay?”

“Fine. Why?”

“Maybe I should take you to see a doctor? Get you checked out, you know, make sure you’re really here,” you murmured and Brian’s concern soon erased, a smirk adorning his perfectly shaped lips. Ah, if you truly had created this specimen, you had done the best work of your life.

Brian was breathtaking. Perhaps you needed to go get your heart checked out too with how fast it started to beat.

“I’ll go if you want me to.”

“You will?”

Brian nodded as he continued to pet Binks. The feline seemed more than appreciative of your new house guest, winding himself back and forth against Brian’s outstretched hand. Finally, Brian glanced up at you, his eyes bright with joy.

You almost dropped the cup in your hand then. Grappling for it, and thanking yourself silently for draining the coffee before such a moment could occur, you laughed lightly. “Ha. So clumsy!”

“So I can tell. Are you normally like this, or is it just in my presence?”

“Are you generally this straight-forward?” you shot back and Brian cocked his head to the side, knowing full well that you should too know the answer to this question. “Right. Of course. It’s one of your charms.”

“Am I charming you, Miss Writer?”

“Okay! Time for me to get dressed and book you a doctor’s appointment. Maybe a joint one. I’ll need to uh, just check my own sanity out whilst I’m there.”

“Are general practitioners able to do all that in one visit?” Brian teased and you huffed at him before dashing down the hallway, closing your bedroom door behind you and raising your hand to your chest to capture your beating heart.

You willed it to slow down but it seemed out of your control.

“Just like the world and characters I’ve created,” you whispered, glancing at your door and biting at the bottom of your lip as a million thoughts raced through your head.

You were surprisingly relieved that your doctor could see Brian as well. You had half-wondered on your drive over to the clinic if he was simply your imagination. You had often heard about writers having muses that seemingly became like imaginary friends to them over the years. Since you considered yourself a newbie author, you were certain it would take many more years before your muse stepped out from one of your novels like that.

And you certainly hadn’t expected Brian to become this real, if he were your muse.

So to hear Doctor Pritchard greet Brian and see her shake his hand – a little too long for your liking, admittedly – did ease some of your concerns about your well-being.

And solidified Brian’s existence further.

“So you want to get your friend here a general check-up?” the doctor enquired, and you nodded your head eagerly.

“Check him all over. Make sure he’s as perfect as I made – as nature created him to be,” you said with a little laugh, Brian’s lips curling up at your almost mishap.

“Well, I’m sure from what I see, there will be no problems along the way,” the doctor expressed, again concerning you with how her eyes lingered. Realising her unprofessional conduct suddenly, she cleared her throat and began her examination.

You realised you should have waited outside for this. It was all very straight-forward in the beginning. She checked his vision and hearing before looking into the back of this throat. And then she suggested he unbutton his shirt a little so she could listen to his heart. Brian didn’t hesitate, fingers nimbly popping open a few buttons. Even you heard the way the doctor gulped before putting the stethoscope into her ears and placed the other end upon his chest.

Brian shot you a small inquisitive look then, and you darted your gaze to the heavens, wondering why you were testing yourself like this. Keeping them there for the remainder of the examination, you waited for the results to garner your attention.

“Well Brian, aside from the old scars I noticed on your body, you’re in fine form. A wonderful state of health. We’ll need to get a blood test from you but other than that, I’m signing you off as perfect.”

“Really doctor, thank you,” Brian mentioned, oozing his charms so effortlessly. He seemed satisfied by the stumped look upon both yours and the doctor’s faces and got up to follow the nurse who had come in to take him off to get his bloods taken.

And then Doctor Pritchard leaned over her desk towards you. “Where did you find him?!”

“Long story,” you mentioned, realising just how ironic that statement was. Rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly, you then mirrored her action and leaned forward towards her. “So he’s fine?”

“More than fine.”

“I mean, as a person.”

Doctor Pritchard nodded. “He’s healthy, Y/N. You, however, look rough.”

“I had a cold. He helped me get over it.”

“I bet he did,” she mentioned with a sly smile and you gasped at her reaction. She grinned back at you. “What? I struggled! Next time you plan on bringing someone as gorgeous as Brian into my office, warn me first! I didn’t go to medical school for all those years to find myself drooling over a patient. It’s so unprofessional of me!”

“Imagine my surprise when I first--” You stopped, smiling at the doctor who seemed to understand despite not telling her the full story. You weren’t sure how to explain Brian’s existence to anyone yet.

“If you don’t snap him up as your own, Y/N, you’re a fool.”

“Oh, believe me, he’s mine. He’s definitely mine,” you told her, taking the script she had given you to help combat your low immunity before heading for the door.

You didn’t know what you were going to do with Brian now.

“Do you want to go back anytime soon?” you asked Brian later that evening, the man marvelling the crook of his elbow where the nurse had taken blood from him. Leaning closer, you winced when you saw the small bruise rising upon his skin. “That looks painful.”

“She seemed to struggle, much like the doctor did.”

“Does it please you, having so many people fawn over you like this?”

Brian shook his head, though there was a small smile that played upon his lips as he did so. You rolled your eyes in response, and Brian chuckled. “In my world, everyone’s looking at Charli or Devon as beautiful and handsome. Not me.”

“Devon is your rival, so of course he’s seen as successful. Whilst the reader is meant to find you more amazing, just as Charli does.”

“Like you do too.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll admit it. You’re handsome. I made you that way because-”

“Because?” Brian asked, scooting in closer. You stopped breathing, or at least, it felt like you weren’t getting enough air with the way he was intensely awaiting your answer.

Blinking rapidly, you looked back at the TV you had aimlessly turned on. You didn’t watch TV all that often, far too engrossed in the worlds you created.

Yet, you hoped right now it could save you from having to answer him.

“Miss Writer,” Brian prompted, and you groaned.

“Don’t call me that.”

“What should I call you then?” he almost purred, and you leapt up from the couch, heading over to the kitchen to find something to do. You cursed under your breath when Brian followed you, reaching out for the breakfast dishes he had cleaned earlier to put away.

“Just call me by my name.”

“Y/N,” he said, and you hissed, shaking your head. Brian laughed. “What, that is your name!”

“But it feels too… intimate the way you said it.”

“How I said it?” he repeated and you nodded once, not daring to look in his direction. The air around you felt smug, however, and you knew he was pleased again.

The sheer amount of validation you were given him as a person would have been building him up easily. You knew it was one of his insecurities and without realising it, you were paying enough attention to him, much like Charli had begun to do so too.

You wondered if Brian was blurring lines within his own mind now about what you meant to him.

“Why are you here?” you asked softly and Brian’s humour softened, his dark eyes searching yours momentarily.

“I wanted to find out more about you.”

“But why? When you have Charli to concern yourself with?”

“You’re more interesting to me than her,” he whispered, blinking a couple of times when he realised what he had said. Trying to brush it off with a smile, Brian reached out for a bowl but your hand grabbed onto his wrist and stopped him from putting it away.

“Why?”

“You have a lot of questions about me today, Miss Writer.”

“I’m trying to understand how the man I created as my biggest self-indulgence for a character is somehow standing before me right now. I need to figure out how to accept or deny you in my world for my own sanity. I created you because you were missing from my world and now you’re here I…”

Brian placed down the bowl again and turned to face you, seeking out your lowered gaze. Hooking a finger under your chin to lift it back up to him, he smiled gently. “Now I’m here?”

“I’m worried I won’t want you to go.”

“Well, I don’t plan on going anywhere soon,” he told you firmly, nodding to emphasise it also. “I want to stay here in this world with you.”

“How is it possible though?” you breathed, and Brian shook his head.

“I’m not sure, but can’t we just focus on the fact that you see me and I see you, and this is what we both want?”

“You want to see me?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said you’re more interesting to me.”

You got caught in the moment. Brian’s thumb gently caressed your chin as he held your gaze fondly, searching for his own reason to like you. However, you were long gone. You had created Brian, poured so much love and attention into him that having him stare like this at you made you disregard everything.

Much as last night, you were uncaring of where he came from, or who he was meant to be with. Right now, you wanted to be the only person he ever looked at like this again. He made you feel special, as if you were carved out of the same stone of life and meant to be for one another.

You couldn’t tell who moved in first, whether it was you or Brian, but the angle he now held your jaw at was much closer to his face, ready for his lips to make an impact.

And just as you were certain that he was about to kiss you, the front doorbell rang.

_________________

Part 6

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[roguesandsaviors]

What Are We?

Fandom: Marvel

Characters: Tony Stark, Reader

Pairing: Tony Stark x Female Reader

Summary: You never expected to see a one night stand at the front of the lecture hall, ready to teach a class you needed for your degree. What followed was even less expected. 

Word Count: 5,026

Rating: SFW

Warning: Alcohol mentions, one night stands

Author’s Note: This is for Meg’s 11K Follower challenge. Thanks to @thranduilsperkybutt for hosting it. The prompts were Au and trope based, which was an absolute blast. This is the second of a few fics I signed up for. I am always a sucker for the idea of Tony as something other than Iron-Man. College Professor would suit him. He has it in him to teach and he definitely enjoys nurturing young souls. Anyone who doesn’t think that can fight me. The secret relationship trope felt natural to go with the college professor AU and while it isn’t full fledged, the beginnings of it are explored here. I haven’t done a lot of reader insert fics because I find I often struggle with them. So I hope this came out okay.  I am terribly sorry that it is late after you were so generous in giving us a load of time. Not Beta-ed so all mistakes are my own.

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You never expected to see his face again. It had been the chance of a lifetime when you were presented with tickets to the convention. It meant mingling and networking but most important, it meant being able to talk shop with others that were on your level. If you were lucky, maybe even with some of the most brilliant minds in the country. What you hadn’t anticipated but never regretted was the one night stand that came with it. Of course you had recognized the name as soon as you got there. He was giving several talks throughout the convention and they were the most highly anticipated events of the entire get together. People were lining up hours in advance to make sure that they got seats and when they were gone, a certain amount of people were allowed standing room.

You were lucky enough to get into one of them. It was only happenstance that you ran into the man afterwards and were granted permission to pick his brain. Which of course you did, soaking in every bit of knowledge that he was willing to part with. What you really hadn’t anticipated was him inviting you to drinks. Not looking a gifted horse in the mouth and not being a complete idiot, you agreed to go. One thing led to another and well, the next thing you knew, you were sneaking out of his hotel room before he had woken up. It was better that way. A little more dignified than being kicked out. Only a little.

The memories were fond and ones that you would hold onto for some time.

Back in school, the thoughts faded further and further from your mind. You were entering the final year of your degree and your nose was to the grindstone. You didn’t sit at the top of your class for nothing after all and wanted to ensure that you remained as competitive as possible for a job after graduation. When you stepped into the classroom, the second of your final fall semester, Anthony Stark was the last person that you ever expected to see.

Sure, you had known that he was lecturing. Everyone and their mother knew that. He had enough with his company and had decided that nurturing the so-called future was his real calling. You remembered him being passionate about it over the first few drinks that were shared between the two of you. There was a genuine drive to ensure that the legacy he had created was left in good hands and would continue to evolve. It had been a part of the attraction, beyond the looks and what you were told he was.

He was supposed to be across the country, lecturing at colleges on the east coast. Not out west, at your college of all places, teaching a class that you needed to be able to graduate. The only section offered. Your heart was in your throat.

Normally, you would have chosen a spot towards the front of the class. Easier to engage in discussion and all of that. This was the one instance though that had you slinking to the last row, ducking your head down, hoping desperately not to be noticed. It had meant nothing to him so why were you so bothered? You could act like nothing happened. He surely would. A one night stand at a convention and nothing more. Hell, maybe you would get lucky and he wouldn’t remember you. The thought stung but you refused to give it the time of day or examine why it bothered you. The path that would lead you down was much too dangerous.

You could let out a sigh of relief as others began to file in and fill up the seats. The hall wasn’t big but the size of the class would be even smaller. There would be nowhere to truly hide once he began the lecture and everyone got involved. You were just hoping to save a little bit of face before having to deal with that. If he did remember, it would be horribly embarrassing for him to say something about it in front of the class. He didn’t seem like that sort of man but then again, you didn’t know him. You knew about him yes but knowing him was an entirely different ballgame.

He advised you all to read the syllabus and know when the assignments were due as it wasn’t his responsibility to keep track of it for you. He didn’t give anyone the chance to really settle in or get bored as he immediately launched into his lecture. There was a difference between his lecture and the way that he had talked at the conference. He had been talking to a crowd of some peers and some students but there was an easiness about the conference talk. It was informal and almost impersonal. This? He was fully engaged and he wasn’t going easy. It was a make it or break it pace and there was no doubt that a few students wouldn’t be able to keep up with him. Even so, he made sure the material was accessible and understandable. He knew that he was talking to students but was going to demand the very best from them.

This was the sort of class that you normally thrived in. Being challenged and stimulated was the whole reason that you had gone into the field in the first place. Nanotech in biomechanics was a step above and beyond what you normally dealt with and you fully intended for it to be your capstone project the following semester. It would be tough finding some willing partners but you were determined to make it happen.

You may have wanted to go unnoticed by the professor but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to engage when questions were asked, contributing to the conversation and even throwing back some questions at him. The back and forth, even with the other students, was invigorating.

Class came to an end all too soon.

“Ms. Y/L/N, please stay behind for a minute.” You almost groaned but managed to stuff your notebook into your bag without shaking too badly. You had almost escaped. The rest of the students filtered out, a few giving you looks that you couldn't entirely read as sympathetic or jealousy. Ambling down the stairs towards the front of the hall, you fiddled with the strap of your bag. This would have been easier to handle with some liquid courage. Since there was none of that around, you were going to have to deal with it sober.

“Is there something wrong professor?”  A smirk sat on his face and that same air of confidence that he had at the convention surrounded him now. This was a man that was used to getting what he wanted.

“Hardly. Today at least. Sneaking out before some morning fun on the other hand…” You felt your face heat up. Perfect. This was not the place or the time for this but he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it.  You were thankful that no one had lingered behind for any additional questions. Or to make passes at the man. Those would come.

His chuckle brought you back to the current situation and caused you to shift on your feet.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or mean anything by it. A mind like yours is rather hard to forget. Couple it with a great night and well, you know how it goes.” You didn’t but you weren’t going to say that to him right now. “I just thought that it would be easier for you and I to move past it, for the sake of the class.” Move passed it, right. Like you had thought, just another one night stand. Even if he had remembered you and had just complimented you in a sort of round about way. And the way that he was looking at you.

Before you could say anything foolish, you found yourself nodding.

“Yeah, of course. I uh, this class is important for me. Not just because I need it for the degree. I wanna base my capstone project in the area.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he hummed. “You were easily the most engaged in class. Asking the right questions. Do you think you are going to be able to get anyone else close to your level to manage that?” Apparently you thought much more alike than could have been anticipated.

“I don’t know. But I am going to do my best to get it figured out.”

“Let me know if you need any help with it. I’m sure I could weed out someone for you to work with. And if not, we will see if there is anything else we can do about that.”

“You would do that?” You couldn’t hide the surprise in your voice.

“I’m intrigued to see what you could come up with, just how far you could go with all of it. Sharpen that mind and hone in some of those skills and you could be almost as good as me. We need that in this world.” Some of the cockiness had toned down and there was a genuine note to his voice that caught you more off guard than his offer just had. If you weren't feeling shy before, you certainly were now. That was some of, if not the loftiest praise that you had ever received in your life. The man before you was an engineering genius and he just said you could be on the same level as he was. You had hoped to be half as good as him and that would have been a hell of an accomplishment.

“Thank you.” There was really nothing else to say to that. You had been stunned into silence beyond the basic courtesy that your manners dictated you give. He nodded, appearing satisfied with the response for now.

“Well, don’t let me keep you. I’m sure you have another class to run along to.” You did, of course. Your brain took a few moments to kick start properly. You nodded and mumbled an incoherent reply before quickly turning tail and getting out of there.

****************************************************** Things had felt awkward for the first few weeks of that semester. Eventually, it faded and you were able to really focus on the important tasks at hand. That meant preparing for your capstone project, even if it was not going to be started until the following semester. You wanted to have as much thought out as possible.

True to his word, Professor Stark was a wealth of knowledge and guidance as the idea was shaped into being. Nothing occurred between the two of you beyond the normal professor student relationship. There was a part of you that was disappointed with that. It was that part that you kept shoved down, hidden and locked away. You knew that there was no point in trying to entertain those sort of flights of fancy. He had made it clear what he was expecting, which was absolutely nothing to happen. You had big things that needed you undivided attention. Giving over to a fantasy, however ridiculous yet seemingly tangible it was, was not going to help you. You had worked much too hard to get to where you were and had too much riding on this. If Stark thought that you were capable of doing great things, you needed to be able to make that happen.

Almost a month into the semester, you were settled into Professor Stark’s lab. Refusing to call him Anthony or Tony made it easier for you to keep your distance. At least emotionally. Physically, it seemed that you spent the majority of all your free time either discussing potential projects in his office or with your head down in his lab.

The small grouping of friends that you had seemed to notice this and loved to point it out whenever you were able to come up for some air and the occasional drink. You couldn’t be all work and no play or you would burn yourself out before you got to your graduation.

A disgusted sound came from over in the corner, where the man in question sat grading papers.

“I don’t think there is any hope for this undergrad class coming through. They are failing to grasp the most basic concepts routinely. Why are any of them even bothering when they are all going to fail out.” He pushed forward the papers. Rarely did you hear him speak like that. It must have been bad. Or he was in a foul mood. You hesitated for a moment.

“They can’t be that bad,” you mumbled before setting aside the text that you were reading. You had been pouring over the latest papers for the past few days, gathering ideas of where the current research was to help focus your own idea. Not that you planned on doing what everyone else was doing but it would help narrow down the categories and choices.

“Here. Read it for yourself.” He motioned for you to come take one of the papers. He didn’t have any TA’s so he did all of his own grading. Having to see for yourself, you made your way over and grabbed the top paper. It didn’t take you long to figure out that he was right. The paper was horrid. Nothing about the concepts discussed were correct and the application was so far wrong that it was painful. This was someone majoring in the field but the paper made it seem like they were some arts major that just copy and pasted a shit ton of things from a textbook.

“Wow.”

“I wasn’t being over the top in the comment.”

“No, you weren’t. This, it’s,” you shook your head. “This is awful. It feels like things were just randomly copy and pasted in without any sort of thought.”

“The rest of the stack is just as bad. I don’t know if the class all signed up as a joke or if they all decided to get shit faced and do the same damn paper. Either way, what am I supposed to do with this? And with them?” He stood up and grabbed for his jacket. “I don’t know about you, but I need a drink.” Was it the smartest idea? No it wasn’t. But you had been holed up for four days working through papers towards the idea that was so close to taking a proper shape. You hadn’t wanted to let it go. A drink was probably just what you needed to reset and give yourself some time to recharge.

“You know what? That actually sounds like a good idea.” In reality, it was a terrible one. That was how the two of you had ended up in bed the first time around. It was a risk that you understood in that moment and didn’t care about.

“Good. You’ve been in here almost more than me. Don’t need to turn you into a recluse just yet. Said you could be like me. Not that you had to be me,” he teased. You rolled your eyes at the comment.

“Great minds and all that jazz right?” you shot back with a grin as you slid passed, though mentally cursing yourself for falling into the banter. There was a level of comfort that had to be achieved, that was there just for the sake of being able to work together. Sharing ideas and having him challenge you mentally meant that it couldn’t be all business and strict. It didn’t go with his personality at all. It would make it too stiff and too difficult to manage.

The bar wasn’t too far from campus, though not frequently by too many students. It meant that you two weren’t bombarded by familiar faces when you entered. The atmosphere was quiet and welcomed. The place was filled with what were likely regulars, those that wanted to escape the crowded bars of a college town. He motioned towards a booth in the back of the bar and you nodded, understanding what he was saying without him having to say it.

He brought two beers over just as you settled into the seat. Generic enough. It wouldn’t be unheard of for a graduate student and professor to head out and share a drink or two. No one would question or think it odd. Not that there was anything odd going on. The thought pushed to the forefront of your mind and you were thankful for it. It reminded you that nothing was going to happen and nothing could happen. This was just a drink between, well friends and colleagues would be the best fitting terms.

There was a silence that stretched between the two of you. It wasn’t awkward and there wasn’t a need to fill it for the time being as you both just sipped your beers and relaxed. He was away from grading those awful papers and you were getting a reprieve from the hole that you were seemingly digging yourself into.

“I’m thinking that you are going to have to work on the capstone by yourself at this point. You are already putting in more hours into it than I am sure others will for the entire project. At this point, I don’t think that anyone is going to be able to follow what you are onto. That being said, I am willing to offer myself as an advisor for it and push back against the board if they take any issue with it.” The offer had not been fully fleshed out the last time it was brought up. It had merely been a suggestion at best. Now it was being laid out in front of you.

You set your beer down out of fear of spilling it and somehow making a fool of yourself.

“You’re serious?”

“Wouldn’t joke about something like that. But I think you know that by now.” He was right about that. He could brush off a lot of things and make them seem trivial but not something like this. He understood what it meant. He leveled you with a look that meant he wanted a proper answer. Right then and there, you had to make your decision.

“Okay,” you agreed. “I know it’s what I want to do and the only way that it is going to happen.” You watched a smile appear across his face, different from the smirk that he usually wore. It was genuine and caught you a bit off guard but you hid that behind a quick drink.

“Good. I know it’s going to take the rest of the semester for you to refine the idea of yours so I won’t bother asking about it just yet. Or tell you to stop working on it now that you know you aren’t going to have to convince others that it’s a good idea. You won’t anyway.” He wasn’t wrong and a sheepish smile came to your face.

“You’re right.”

“I know.” That brought a laugh out of you. You shook your head and took another healthy sip from your glass. “Guess that settles the elephant in the room then. You can at least stop worrying about it.” He relaxed back in his seat, his shoulders dropping a bit. It wasn’t often you saw him actually relax like that, where he didn’t have something to focus on or the next thing to jump immediately to. You imagined that you had been the same way though since the semester had started.

“Any plans for the weekend?” An innocent enough question.

“More work. There was a concert this weekend that my friends were all heading to but I wasn’t fond of the artist so I really don’t have much else to focus on.” His head cocked to the side ever so slightly.

“You might actually rival me Y/N,” he laughed behind his glass. “You are going to work yourself into the ground. I am going to lock the lab. You need a weekend off.”

“Coming from the man that doesn’t know the meaning of the words day off?” you challenged right back.

“Maybe when I was younger. I have gotten better about it in recent years,” he hummed softly. “And that’s a lesson you are going to learn early on if I can do anything about it. There’s a difference between working through a break through and burning yourself out. You have other classes that I know you need to focus on. Which isn’t the point of taking the weekend off mind you. Take a trip out of the city or something. That’s something that’s still done right?”

It was your turn to laugh. You could understand the sentiment behind it though. Your friends had been urging the same thing. It was just hard to pull yourself away when you were close to finally getting the idea to where it needed to be. It was in your grasp and you didn’t want it slipping away.

“You realize that I could still go to the library or just work in my dorm.”

“I did plan for that.” Your brow furrowed when that was the response. Planned for that? You had no idea what that meant. “You are taking the weekend off or the lab is off limits to you completely next week. I’ll have it locked up and maybe even take a week off myself. I can get someone else to proctor the testing that I have for all the classes.” For a moment, you thought that it could be a bluff. A whole week away? It didn’t seem like something that he would do but that damned smirk of his was taunting. He seemed serious as he cocked a brow in challenge. You weren’t sure that you were willing to call him on such a thing. A week outside of the lab and wouldn’t him to bounce ideas off of could really put a monkey wrench into your plans. It was a good damn threat and he knew it. Your shoulders fell and you had to admit your defeat. There was no way that you were going to risk that happening.

“All right. I’ll take the weekend off.” Though you had no idea what you were going to do for it. With all of your friends away, you were really on your own. You had just promised not to work so you were going to have to figure out what you were going to do. The man across from you looked like the cat that caught the canary and you rolled up a napkin and threw it at him. “You don’t have to look so damn smug about it.”

“Course I do. I got what I wanted and now we can move on. I’m going to get us some more beer. Unless you wanted something different?” He was on his feet but had paused at the side of the booth. There was a moment that you really debated what was a good idea and what wasn’t. If you couldn’t work then it meant that you didn’t have to be up early. If you didn’t have to be up early, then  you could afford to drink a little more than usual. You had already taken the risk in coming out with him to the bar so what was a little more?

“Yeah, some vodka.”

“Coming right up.” It wasn’t like you planned on getting drunk with the man. That had happened once already and while you wouldn’t ever mind a repeat of that night, it couldn’t happen.

*************************************

The weekend off had been exactly what you needed to recharge and reset. The drinks and the relaxed company had helped. You had made it back to campus before parting that night. No funny business happened, even if your subconscious tortured you about it later that evening. The drinks had become a part of your regular routine. Every other weekend, on Friday, the two of you would leave the lab and head to the bar. A couple drinks, some jokes and banter exchanged, and a walk back before separating. You would take the weekend off, or at least put some focus on your other classes. They were all a breeze for you at this point so it wasn’t like you had to dedicate too much brain power to them. Just enough to get good marks and move on.

Another Friday night had rolled around and the routine was maintained. You hadn’t been in the lab for once, choosing to settle into the library and work on one of the whiteboards there. The alarm on your phone went off though and you knew that you had to wrap it up. It wasn’t like the two of you had talked about where you would meet up. It had just been happening since you had been spending so much time in the lab with him. So you assumed that it would be the same as it was every other weekend.  

After you lifted your bag to your shoulder, you slowly made your way to the edge of campus, staying mindful of your surroundings. If he didn’t join you by the time you had made your way to the bar, you decided that you would turn around and head back to the library. There were still a few things that needed to be worked out on your paper for another class before you turned it in in four days.

You made it to the bar just in time to hear your name called.

“Y/N!” He sounded happy. You pushed off the feeling that came with it. “I thought you might have flaked out on me since you weren’t at the lab.” You gave him a smile.

“I know better than to call your bluff. I know that your threat still stands.”

“At least someone understands the value of a good threat still.” The bar was filled with faces that were now somewhat familiar. You didn’t know names, not talking to anyone beside Tony here. That barrier had fallen after the second visit to the bar. It just didn’t fit to keep calling him by his formal title while the two of you were drinking together.

“Well, it holds enough weight and consequence that it holds value. You just have to know how to properly threaten someone these days.” You moved to the booth that you always occupied while he grabbed the beers that you started the evening off with.

********* The pounding in your head was the first thing you noticed. The sunlight creeping in through the blinds didn’t help the situation at all. You reached up to grab the pillow and pull it over your face only to realize that your arm was a bit pinned to your side. In fact, you weren’t able to move at all. You opened your eyes, groaning at the action as light assaulted you, to realize that you weren’t in your room at all. It looked unfamiliar. Then, it registered that there was a warm body beside yours and an arm around your waist was keeping your own arm pinned down to your side. Things weren’t adding up  to equal out to anything good at the moment. You tried not to let any panic make the headache worse but you had to get up.

“Stop wriggling so much.” The voice was muffled but unmistakable. That was definitely Tony. You should have never agreed to go out for drinks with him. You had no clue what you were going to do now. It changed things once again. It wasn’t like you could both just go and forget about it. He was supposed to be your advisor next month. You were going to have to spend a lot more time with him than you already were. This whole mess complicated that beyond belief.

“Tony, I have to get up.”

“No you don’t. You have to go back to sleep.” You thought that maybe he had just done that when there was a pause. “You have one hell of a hangover and so do I. It’s early on a Saturday, the sort of early that no one should be awake unless they stayed up all night to see it. So go back to sleep, stop worrying.” That was easy for him to say. Stop worrying? How the hell were you supposed to do something like that when you had just slept with your professor and soon to be advisor? You may not have remembered much of what happened after deciding to leave the bar but it was more than obvious given the warmth of his skin against your abdomen that you were lacking more clothes than what would be proper.

“I’m not going back to sleep. I have to get up.” The unspoken leave was there.

“Not letting you go this time.” You didn’t understand that. He was the one who recommended keeping things a strict professor student relationship. He was the one who brought up putting the one night stand beyond you and acting like it never happened. Now he wanted to flip the script? That was not fair and a shot that he couldn’t just call like that.

“Let go.” It was a demand, clear and simple as you shifted and grabbed his arm to pull it off of you. “I’m leaving Tony. And that’s that.”

“Y/N.” His voice was softer and much more awake than it had been before. “Sweetheart, turn over and look at me.” You didn’t want to. There had been enough risks taken and it landed you here in his bed. Again. Only this time, you couldn’t escape. He huffed behind you before shifting himself, pulling you onto your back so you didn’t have a choice. You were forced to look up at him as he hovered over you. Nothing was said as he looked down, almost to the point that it became uncomfortable. That was when he leaned in and kissed you.

[ijustchangedmyname]

Menajerimi Ara Episode 10- A Few Thoughts (Or A Rant)

Okay, so I've been watching Menajerimi Ara for a few weeks and the reaction to the last episode was what made my feelings boil over and finally forced me to voice my thoughts. I was taking numerous notes while watching which were mostly me fangirling over Dicle and Feris but I hope I sound coherent.

I'd like to start off with how much I adore Dicle. I have loved many female characters over the years (e.g recently Eda and Ceren, of Sen Çal Kapımı) but Dicle is the one I relate most to. It was her character that drew me into the story and kept me hooked. I love that she's sensitive, expressive, hardworking, quietly confident yet humble. She cries but she keeps powering through. I absolutely adore her and just want to follow her story to see her succeeding and being happy.

Rating War and Social Media

The reason that really made me write was the brief snippet I got into the fandom's reaction while going through twitter to follow the live translation. I very rarely go to twitter for fan discourse because it's too fast and crazy for my taste.

While I am glad that the day change grabbed ratings and the social media fandom is crucial in getting their views heard and making the hashtags trend, I was genuinely surprised by the few tweets I passed over regarding Emir's introduction and how the tracks were being written.

I completely agree that the writing did seem contrary at times to me. The characters seemed to be taking inconsistent decisions on the whim of the writer just to cause drama. Also, the it was more focused on the personal lives of the managers rather than the industry drama.

All of this just reinforced the reactive and extremely volatile nature of the Turkish TV Industry and the instant lashing. But it made me realise how rigid we as an audience have become.

People arguing that they want the original writing and arcs, and especially "Dicbar", while at the same time arguing that the real reason they're watching is not for the romance but the industry behind the scenes.

This was particularly reflected in the reading of Emir's character and twisting his actions - partly by the writer because he was introduced entirely as part of a triangle- to make him out to be a controlling person who will prove to be an abusive partner. I mean the reach. It leached all joy out of watching for me.

I dearly hope the writer does NOT take this direction and turn him into a psychopath or a typical antagonist down the road.

Viewing Experience

@howaboutbucky writes AMAZING reviews of the episodes and I wait eagerly for her insights each week. In her last one regarding Episode 9, she hit the nail on the head again. *chef's kiss*

I'd like to build upon what she mentioned regarding MA going the dark path of only trying to bank on woman on woman hate and tension by writing Gulin and especially Beren as they have been doing. I think Dizis suffer the same issue that romance novels in general do. The primary audience is women and it invites alot of scrutiny of women's actions by women themselves. Everything is nitpicked.

What truly angers me though is that even here if men are secondary characters or evil or have no growth arc they are still given a free pass to dwell in more shades of grey than female characters ever do. Because the writers are busy writing cliche tracks and we as an audience are busy picking it apart while male characters get to enjoy even the benefits of being ignored.

Dicle and Selflessness

As I said, Dicle has been my absolute favourite character and I loved that they had managed to balance this quality so far. However, I feel like she is going to fall victim to the 'melek gibi' leads that usually populate dizis. Her selflessness was bordering on stupidity in this episode. I liked how her honesty and goodness was shown as positive in the Burcin episode while in the first one her good intentions with Tuba backfired. How she was going to give up her job to make Kyrach's life easier but then decided that she wouldn't. I loved that she referred to "becoming a little shark" at that point as Kyrach had predicted. I wish the show would keep this balance and show Dicle's greatest strength is her greatest weakness and how she struggles to retain her integrity in the industry. That is what made me emotional.

In this episode, it didn't make me feel, her "selfless" decisions made me mad. What put me off even further was how everyone kept lauding her selflessness, as if the audience would'nt have caught on had not every character bashed us over the head with it. It was as bad as everyone apologising to Beren.

I actually would've like if they portrayed how Dicle's decisions were actually mostly selfish. Who is she to tell Barış to go make up with Beren? As a friend, that is overstepping a line. Her asking Kyrach to make sure Beren was not fired was a way to make herself not feel guilty.

The only time I thought Dicle was being herself was when she balked after finding out Feris had brought her to set to be apologised to. Dicle HAS been established as wanting to avoid conflict since the start. Emir was right on about that.

Barış

Honestly, I wish they'd give us more insight into Barış career, have him do fun friend things with Dicle or just not show him atall and we'll assume he's off with Beren or his friends or whatever. To have him just stand around and be jealous is agonising.  @likeablehades and @nawaazishein did a wonderful post about Barış recently. I loved his character since the start, not to ship but just to follow his growth.

Emir

Right off the bat, Emir was written to be the complete opposite of Barış in his mannerisms, in everyway. And you know what? I liked it. I was excited by it. We were going to see another younger actor's experience close up, who was confident and comfortable with his stardom.

I wanted to find out his backstory and what kind of struggles he might face. I sincerely hope that we get to know him more not just in a love triangle but as having a growth arc of his own. I think just using him as a triangle is a reductive reading of his character by the writer. (and the audience)

I love that he's slightly icy yet straightforward. He seems mature and not emotionally constipated??

I'm sincerely hoping we get to delve more into his character and see how his and Dicle's arcs intertwine.

Parallels

I'd like to mention Barış and how he shows emotion. He has said himself that a scream builds inside him. It's interesting how he initially comes off as impulsive yet on closer examination he actually refrains from reacting right away most of the time, especially with Dicle and what we see is him hitting breaking point due to repressed feelings and then taking rash decisions.

In a way I find him similar to Dicle that he avoids confrontation, especially romantic, unless pushed hard. Throughout Barış doesnot show his emotions in the moment. He only broke up with Beren through a scene they were doing.

Perhaps it's a side effect of being an actor. He takes his craft seriously; analysing a scene, understanding a character and then embodying the emotion that fits. I think it carries over to him receding into an observer role in key situations (such as with Dicle on the terrace in Ep 10) and trying to decide the perfect response.

Another thing is how Dicle and Emir parallels Dicle and Barış; thete is a role reversal for Dicle.

I think we tend to get too attached to the first love interest. Personally, I'd love it if Barış and Dicle actually became great friends. (although a waste of chemistry :"( )

From the start, Dicle went into that relationship expecting something romantic and I never felt that she was equal. Whereas with Emir she has always been professional. Dicle doesn't avoid confrontation with Emir ever since he openly pointed out he was testing her. She never gives under pressure.

With no expectations, it feels more of an equal push and pull in their interactions even if they are not romantic.

Some random thoughts I had while watching:

- Dicle looks FIRE in all her scenes. 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

-Emir is so firmly in the clientzone lol.

- So Dicle is 22, Emir is 28. How old is Barış?

-I love the head wagging Chynar does everytime he's happy and something has been accomplished!!! (at Dicle after she told Burcin the truth and at Kyrach when he told him about Buse being hired.)

-I do womder why Barış doesn't have any friends? :"(

-Aah Feris ahh canim benim.

- I wish we'd get to see small snippets of Dicle talk to her mother more. Not only when she has a problem. I'd love to see what she says to Leyla about her work mom.

-"Other girls might like it." I don't understand why we have to put down other girls in order to be considered strong.

- Julide serving looks!!

- Honestly why is Barış with Beren?????

He has no interest. None of the younger people are in love in this show, it's just infatuation. Beren and Dicle's with Barış.

- Ugghh Deniz Can Aktaş ♡♡♡ That head movement he does as Barış. And the smile. I adore.

- Meral suggesting a BECHAMEL BOOK LMAAOO

-Is "you didn't answer my question" going to be Emir and Dicle's "phrase"?

I love that she's buying a cookbook aaah!!

- And most importantly- WHO IS LEAKING INFORMATION??!!!!!

I can't shake the feeling that it is Gulin.

[degenerate-perturbation]

Chapters: 24/38 Fandom: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, Dragon Age II Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Female Amell/Female Surana Characters: Female Amell, Female Surana, Anders, Velanna, Nathaniel Howe, Oghren (Dragon Age), Justice (Dragon Age), Sigrun (Dragon Age), Varric Tethras, Isabela (Dragon Age), Male Hawke (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Harm, Blood Magic, Prostitution, Drowning, Wilderness Survival, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better Series: Part 2 of void and light, blood and spirit Summary: Amell and Surana are out of the Circle, and are now free to build a life together. But when the prison doors fly open, what do you have in common with the one shackled next to you, save for the chains that bound you both?

Loriel had not expected to miss Avernus quite so much.

Months went by without word from him. First few enough for her not to notice, and then too many for her to ignore. A dozen times over the past months she had thought to write him, and then decided that no, she didn’t need to after all, but she couldn’t pretend that forever.

It was her own petty, childish pride, then and now. She had fought him just to prove that she’d win, and writing him now would be admitting that she needed his counsel. Which she did

She still wasn’t going to do it.

More than the man himself she missed his knowledge and experience. And if not that, then at least someone to report her findings to. Someone who would care if she didn’t get anything done, and who would care about what she had to say about it. And yes, perhaps that amounted to missing the man himself, too.

The worst of it was that her work had stalled without him. Her rigor and meticulous care wasn’t enough anymore, and she was no closer to cracking open the crystal and finding the Architect than she’d been any time before. She began to lose whole days to restless pacing, to picking up books and putting them down again, to feeling her eyes move across pages and absorbing absolutely nothing. She had not thought that the loss of a sporadic correspondence partner would undo her so badly.

The work had to continue. 

Had she been a spirit mage, she would have had options—spirits of knowledge weren’t that uncommon. The Chantry did not teach its prisoners to speak to them, but a powerful spirit mage could have managed it. The Dalish did so, and so did the Alemarri. Spirit lore was something that might have been available to her, when she was eighteen or twenty and still fresh.

But she had bathed too long in her own blood, and her connection to the Fade had rotted. So it would have to be a demon, and she would have to bind it.

For all her transgressions, Loriel did not make binding demons a habit. Less out of any unwillingness to transgress—what sacred rule had she not already broken?—than a sense of calculated risk. Any imperfection in the binding, and the demon was out, ready to turn its wroth on the first target it could get its hands on—generally, the mage who had bound it.

It was a bad idea, she knew that going in. She would do it anyway.

That did not mean she would be stupid. She did her due diligence. She read up, poring over every scrap of demon lore in her library. Abelard’s Index of Foulest Daymons was particularly helpful. She had borrowed the tome from Avernus and only vaguely intended to return it, and now it seemed like she wouldn’t have to. It was a murderously heavy text, listing every type and subtype and sub-sub-and-so-on-type of demon known to exist, their names and habits, their foibles and tricks, how best to bind one, and what one might ply it with. Better yet, Abelard had lived in Tevinter during the Steel age, and his text was unsullied with Chantry prejudices.

She practiced first. When finally it came time to summon something, she spent hours carefully inscribing the binding circle—with far more care than what she intended to summon really warranted. She started with wisps and wraiths, half-formed blobs of Fade-stuff still waiting to become, lashing them to her will and releasing them again. When she could do this as easy as breathing, she moved on to demons of hunger. Hunger was something she no longer felt, and could not be tempted by, though hunger demons were more likely to try and eat her than to tempt her. 

Next she tried Rage and Desire, creatures of things she had felt once, but hadn’t for months and years. If Rage might still bring heat to her blood, if only in the form of intense irritation, Desire offered nothing she’d ever take. Loriel had no fear of Desire. She’d already had the thing she most greatly desired, had it, and thrown it away—on purpose. Nothing else in this world existed that Loriel could be said to desire.

Sloth she avoided. Sloth—Torpor—was the only one demon who had ever gotten the better of her, who she hadn’t defeated herself. It was too great a risk, that she’d lie down and sleep until the end of the world, given half a demon-shaped excuse.

These lesser demons, though, would be of no use to her. What she needed was knowledge, and what that meant something like Pride.

Abelard’s Index was not very reliable for lesser demons who had since returned to the Fade-sea and reformed. It listed appearances they no longer wore, personalities they had long shed, even if their basic natures would reform. But for powerful demons who had amassed centuries of memory—just the one she would need—Abelard was perfect. She read and reread the relevant heading, squinting at the antiquated Tevene. Vainglory, Audacity, Superbia, Narcissus—no, not quite, no, and no. Demons that dealt with forbidden things—Censorus, Proscripta, Obscurus, Taboo—no, not that one, not this one neither. Then she saw the subheading—Daymons of Knoweledge.

Demons of knowledge came in all manner of forms—she paused for a time on Secerne, who collected secrets. It dealt only with knowledge that no-one else knew. Tempting—but such a creature would hardly be likely to give its secrets up and render them useless to itself. A blood mage could bind a demon and constraint it, but to compel it was pointless—you’d probably just end up destroying it, and if you were after knowledge, what good was that? No, once bound, the demon would have to be dealt with the old fashioned way.

Revelatus traded desired knowledge for undesired knowledge. It would tell you anything you wanted to know, and then something you didn’t want to know—the worst thing your lover had ever thought of you, how happy you might have been if you had just chosen differently, what was really in your sausage. Countless men had been driven mad by this one, Abelard warned. Loriel decided not to test her luck.

Finally she settled on a demon called Veritas, who spoke only truths. It was an ancient creature of malice and cunning, but it would tell her the truth, and for that Loriel would give anything.

tck

There came a point where even she could not justify dithering any longer. Weeks had passed since she had decided she would bind a demon. On the chosen day, she made all her preparations, triple-checked her summoning circle, cast spell after protective spell. Finally she could find no more excuses to delay—she spilled her blood and spoke the words.

The air itself seemed to part, and a greenish miasma spilled forth from the crack. A shape was being pulled through, too big for such a modest aperture, yet somehow, terribly, emerging. Reality bulged and bent, and finally, a demon climbed out.

It was smaller than other Pride demons, shaped something like a bear and something like a lion, though in place of claws or talons, it had clever human fingers. Its face was covered with a golden mask, shaped into the form of a human face. Its hide was pitch black, and every inch of it covered with blinking, roving eyes.  It raised its head, as though to sniff the air, and bent to examine its new situation, noting the summoning circle, the runes of binding and restraint. 

“Hello,” said Loriel. “Might you confirm your name?”

The thousand eyes blinked all at once. “I am Veritas, he who knows ten thousand truths.” Its voice came through as though from far away, echoing around the chamber.

“Ten thousand only?”

“No, far more! Many, many more! I know more truths than there are stars in your sky, more truths than there are grains of sand in your deserts, more truths than the number of breaths you will take—”

“That is more than ten thousand.”

“That I know ten thousand truths was not a lie.”

“Oh, I see. You’re one of those demons of knowledge.”

She had succeeded in offending it. “What do you mean by that?”

“You speak only in riddles and technical truths. You say things that are true by letter only, and lies by implication. Disappointing,” said Loriel, pouring unimpressed into her voice.

It scowled around the room—or seemed to. She could not see its face behind the golden mask. “Why can I not see you, little mageling? Where are you?”

Invisibly, Loriel produced a faint crescent of a smile. “I am here in this room with you, Veritas.” Her voice echoed through the chamber as she spoke, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere at once. The demon’s ears twitched, and only then did Loriel realize that even telling it that she was there in the room with it was more than she meant to say.

“So you are, mageling, so you are. Why have you summoned me?”

“Why do mages ever summon you? I seek knowledge you might have.”

“Why should I tell you anything I know, when you have dragged me so rudely from my home?”

“I will make it worth your while, Veritas. I offer knowledge in exchange for knowledge.”

Veritas laughed. It was a horrible sound, like broken glass. Loriel didn’t dare speak. “Little mageling, you know nothing I do not. I have sought out truths for centuries, bent only upon knowing, and you, little girl, whose lifetime is as a mayfly’s breath to a being like myself—you presume to offer me knowledge? You presume to know something I do not?”

Loriel let the echo of the last word fade, then said calmly, “What is my name?”

No answer.

“So you do not know it,” Loriel said. “And I am forced to conclude, Veritas, that I do know some things that you do not.”

The demon paced inside its narrow circle on all fours. “Aren’t you a darling little pedant! Very well, I’ll take your deal, but I will take it on my terms. You may ask me one question, but first, you must tell me something I do not know. Do not lie! If you answer falsely, I shall know, and I shall devour your heart.”

An empty threat. Veritas was bound. It was subject to her will. It couldn’t get out if it wanted to—or else what was the point of blood magic binding? She was perfectly safe. It was bluffing—

...No, it wasn’t. Of course not. The demon of truth could not bluff. If Veritas bluffed it would no longer be Veritas. I shall devour your heart. Not a promise or a threat, but a statement of fact.

“Very well,” Loriel said steadily. “I shall speak truly.”

“What,” grinned the demon, “is the full, entire, and complete name by which you are called?”

She should have seen that coming. “My name is Loriel Surana.” 

Loriel was common enough for elves. And Surana was not even her family name; it was just what all elves were called in the Circle. Elves had no family names.

“Loriel Surana,” said Veritas, tasting it, savoring it. “Loriel Surana, Loriel Surana...yes, I know of you.”

She was so startled that the question came out unbidden: “What do you mean?”

“Your name floats upon the Fade like a dying leaf upon the breeze! One who often walks free along its emerald waters has called and called it, lacquered it with misery and love, twisted it with hatred and longing. Your name forms an island of despair and desire; tempests that will not calm; storms that will not pass. Yes, what a name!”

“I see,” Loriel said neutrally. Whatever bloomed in her to hear that, she stoppered it at once. “I answered your question, demon, so here is mine—”

“Ah, ah, ah!” The demon waggled a finger not-quite-at her. “You already asked your question. You asked me what I meant. Now it is my turn again. Where in this room are you right now?”

“I am standing in the northeastern corner of this chamber,” Loriel answered, and slowly, on magically silenced feet, moved to the southeastern corner instead.

“No fair,” the demon complained. “I did not know which way was northeast.”

“Oh? Then my mistake. But I answered your question, so here is mine. Where is the ancient darkspawn being known to many as the Architect?”

“The Architect is underground,” the demon said sulkily.

Loriel felt a vein throb in her forehead. “I could have told you that.” 

“Then you should have asked a better question,” sniffed the demon. “Now it is my turn—”

“No,” Loriel interrupted. “No, it isn’t. I didn’t say I would answer any question you asked. I agreed that I would tell you something you did not know. You have just told me you do not know which way is northeast, so I will tell you—it is the direction of the corner where the empty pouch of lyrium powder lies. Here is my second question: what is the cure for the Blight?”

“Why—blood, of course.” The demon smiled with hidden teeth. “It is always in the blood. That was a dirty trick you played, Loriel Surana, but no dirtier than mine, so I will forgive you, this time. Here is the next thing that I do not know and that I would have you tell me.” The demon smiled wider, showing teeth. “What do you love most in all the world?”

“Well?” said the demon, when she had been silent too long. “Will you answer, Loriel Surana? Or will you let me go?”

“I will answer.” And she answered, truly: “Nothing. What I love most in all the world is nothing.”

“How interesting. Yes, very interesting...you are a pleasing little mageling. I think I like you after all. Well, Loriel Surana? It is your turn. Speak!”

“I’m thinking,” said Loriel, and finally settled on: “What concrete set of actions should I take next—immediately after ending this conversation—that, of all possible actions, would take me the further along my goal of discovering the cure for the Calling?”

Veritas grinned wider still, its face little more than teeth. “Take a man infected with the Blight, and find a way to take it out of him. A man, and not a rat. But why waste your time with me asking me that which you already know?”

Loriel exhaled through her nose. “Thank you, Veritas. You may go now.” 

The demon’s grin was all that remained of it as it disappeared back into the Fade, making no attempt at all to remain within the waking world. Loriel was alone, the floor littered with truths both new and old.

“Shit,” she muttered finally.

tck

It had been a mistake to summon the demon. She was no good at dealing with creatures of the Fade. When Loriel had been small and scared and helpless she’d had a silver tongue, been so adept and turning minds to her advantage using nothing but her words. Not it seemed she had forgotten entirely how to deal with a mind she could not break and twist and bend. 

All she had succeeded in doing was in giving an ancient, powerful demon tools to hurt her with, and what had she learned? Nothing she didn’t already know. Stupid. Careless. Idiot.

“Warden Pollard has begun to hear the Call.”

Loriel had been half-listening to Brigit’s report; now she startled to full attention, rattling her morning tea in its cup. “What?” Brigit repeated herself. “Warden Pollard...who is he?”

Warden Pollard was Orlesian. He had transferred from under Warden-Commander Clarel some years ago. He had served well, saved three of his comrades in a raid, and fought with a pike. He had been a Warden for only thirteen years. This was early, but not unheard-of.

“Where is he?”

“The chapel. He prays for his soul. He intends to visit his mother in Velun before heading to the Deep Roads.”

“I would like to speak with him in private.” She said it so quickly as to be unseemly. But Brigit only nodded and moved to acquiesce.

When her office door opened and Brigit admitted him, Loriel couldn’t help but think he didn’t look much like a dying man. Perhaps he was pale, perhaps a sheen of sweat stood out on his skin, but she didn’t know him. For all she knew, he always looked like that. 

Only when traces of discomfort began to appear on his face did Loriel realize she had been staring at him silently for far too long.

“Commander,” he said awkwardly, still with the traces of an Orlesian accent. He’d never met her before. Was he one of the ones not quite aware that she still lived, and still ruled? “I’m honored.”

“Do not be,” she said flatly. “How is it?”

How are you feeling might have been more appropriate. But it would have rung false. 

“Not so bad, yet. I knew it was coming. I accept it.” He paused. “Is there some manner of ceremony?”

Loriel had no idea. There probably was. She had never cared to find out, never cared to make sure that her wardens had a good sendoff. “If you wish it. But that is not why I wanted to speak with you. Can you get more specific?”

A flash of confusion.

“About how it is.”

Pollard looked even less comfortable. “I’ve had nightmares, ser.”

“Different from the usual?”

“Yes.” 

“Can you tell me more?”

“With respect, ser, I’d rather not.”

Her mouth set. “Please,” she said, and there was the power of blood in her voice, and not a trace of a request. “Tell me more.”

Pollard’s eyes went foggy and distant. When he spoke, he sounded oddly flat. “The nightmares were only the beginning. Now when I sleep, I hear the most beautiful voice. Like my mother calling me home. And when I awake, I want nothing more than to hear that voice again. I can hear it now, just barely. And a strange music in my ears.”

“What kind of music?”

“Bells. Like chantry bells, calling me to prayer. Ugly and beautiful at once.”

“Is it anything like lyrium song?”

His brow knit. “Yes. Not unlike lyrium song. But different. Richer and darker. I can almost pick out voices in it, but never what they say.”

She took out a notebook, her shorthand flying across the page. “What do you see? In the dreams?”

“Darkspawn. All gathered together in the biggest chamber I have ever seen. It’s dark, but I can see perfectly. They’re darkspawn, but they do not seem ugly. At the center sits a beautiful figure, bathed in gold, smiling. They welcome me home. I’m glad to be there.”

“When did this start?”

“Three weeks ago I first heard the voice in my dreams. 

“Any physical effects?”

“My skin is hot. The sun hurts my eyes, even on cloudy days.  I feel stronger now than I have ever been, even stronger than I was as a young man.”

“Anything else?”

“I hope not to be alive by the time there is anything else.”

Loriel finished transcribing. “One last thing. Come here. Roll up your sleeve; give me your arm.”

Pollard obeyed. He did not protest, did not react at all, when she took some of his blood. It glinted darkly in the glass vials she had fetched for this purpose, easily a few shades too dark. She stared at it for a few seconds. There was the Blight itself.

She took a few vials. Enough so he wouldn’t notice, later, and closed the wound she’d made with a clumsy burst of creation magic. The vials went into a wooden box inscribed with a rune of entropic suspension—blood spoiled so soon after it left the body.

Frustration overwhelmed her, that all she had was a few vials of blood and a brief coercive interview. Imagine all she might have learned if she could watch as he succumbed to the Taint, hear in his own words what was happening to him. He was going to die anyway—this way he might help save the lives of countless other Wardens, who could object to that? She could just—

No. Velanna had been wrong. She cared about the Wardens, of course she did, why else do all this? She would not subject an innocent man to such a fate. She was better than Avernus.

Pollard blinked as she released his mind, but if he was aware of the lost time he did not show it. She thanked him for his service and assured him that his family would be taken care of. He thanked her in turn, and departed as quickly as was seemly. She watched him go with only the smallest burst of dark regret.

[msilwrites]

The Beginning of a Marriage

A/N: SEXUAL TENSIOOONNNSSS... LOL!

JUST A SHORT THOUGHT:

WARNING! SPOILERS from the book and movie 365 Days: I just finished reading a detailed review of the book. The difference between the Massimo in the book vs Massimo in the movie was so great, I felt so sad reading the detailed review about the book and the characters. (DETAILED REVIEW Read here....). Nonetheless, this story was inspired quite a bit by the Massimo from the movie. The review of the book and the difference it has with the movie not only made me want to write about strong female leads, but also, develop some sort of bond between my two characters as; (another spoiler from the book review; “Laura and Massimo as a couple - Those two didn't really share any interests, they didn't talk a lot about anything aside from how perversed they are & their sexual fantasies. Their whole relationship was built on violence, blackmail, anger and fighting.”)

And I believe the reviewer did make a point!

This story is the continuation of ‘The Wedding’

Genre: Action/ Drama / Comedy

Sandro Balestreri - Michele Morrone

Tilly McLeod - is an original female character

Will McLeod - Liam Neeson

Henry McLeod - Henry Cavill

                                     The Beginning of a Marriage

The moment they reached the Balistreri’s ancestral home where the wedding reception will be held. Tilly immediately got out of the car, and ran all the way to the front door of the villa. 

“What’s the hurry bella?!” Sandro teased. 

He expected Tilly to trip and fall and embarrass herself, with the way she was going, but to his surprise, she was very graceful, despite the high heels and the long gown. The long part of the back hem of her dress, flew with the wind, which made him stare longer than he intended, she looked so ethereal, reminding him of the goddess of the wind. 

“Quickly, Sandro! they’ll be here in an hour or two?” Tilly says whilst running up the on the steps of the entrance, completely oblivious to the way her husband stared at her.

He sighed, and turned off the car’s ignition, and pulled out the keys. By the time he entered the villa, he can hear the clucking sound of Tilly’s heels from upstairs like a staccato on a piano. 

He chuckled as he climbed the staircase and was a little surprised that the sound of the tick-tocking of her shoes suddenly stopped. When he reached the second floor, he saw her door, slightly ajar, enough for him to peek through. Out of sheer curiosity, Sandro took a peek at the small slit of the door only to find his wife busy talking on her phone,dressed in nothing but a nude strapless bridal shapewear, whilst her wedding gown, lay neatly on the side sofa. Though it didn’t show the parts that he wanted to see, it accentuated her hourglass body. Who would’ve thought his wife hid such a voluptuous figure. 

“Damn...” he whispered to himself, a naughty smile formed on his lips. “Who would’ve thought...”

“You’ll be late for an hour later than the designated time? Oh! of course, there’s no problem with that, we have more time to prepare for my side then. Take your time, we do not mind...” she says to the person on the other side of the line. He guessed it must be the magazine interview later on. After putting down the call, she sighs, and lays her head on top of the dressing table, completely exhausted. 

 With another exhausted sigh, Tilly gets up from her seat and changes into different dress, swiftly slipping into it. It had the same elegant silhouette as her wedding dress, but this time, it was black and a bit more minimalistic, with longer bell sleeves complementing the classic silhouette in the most delightful way. She paired with another set of emerald necklace, but took a little longer choosing the earrings, so she spread what she had brought on to the table to compare. Unable to choose, she leaves the previous task to re-touch her makeup.

Sandro didn’t notice that he had been watching a little longer until she lifted her head, to check the time. Though, there was nothing much to see now that she’s dressed, he felt like a voyeur. He didn’t understand it himself  as to why he seemed to be enjoying watching Tilly dress up, there was something so sultry about it. In fact, he was getting a little hard down there.This was the first time he considered something so sexy without a woman being naked. 

Suddenly, Sandro accidentally pushes the door open, causing Tilly to almost jump out of her seat.

“Who’s there!!??” she shouts.

However, Sandro quickly slips away, and hides at one side.

Tilly pops her head outside of her door, and looked from right to left, trying to see if there was anybody in the hallway. Much to her relief, there appeared to be no one. She closes the door shut, and Sandro hears the clicking sound of the doorknob, indicating that she had locked it this time. 

Sandro sighs in frustration, and tried to find a way to ‘cool’ himself and his ‘friend’ down there. His eyes lands on the large window not far from where he stood, and the first thing he saw was the pool.

“Good Idea...” he thought to himself. It was indeed the perfect time to go for a relaxing swim.

                                                          ********** 

“Sandro!” Tilly’s deep, mezzo-soprano voice echoed throughout the hallway, reaching all the way to the backyard where the pool was. One of the first things he had noticed about Tilly in the beginning was her voice. Despite the sunny disposition and the small height, he didn’t expect her to have a such deep soothing voice that reminded him of those narrators in documentaries. When happy, it will be a little tone higher. When annoyed, he could hear her voice strain, turning a little raspy, as if she was containing something within herself. It made him little curious how would she sound like if angry.

Sandro swim’s to the side of the pool and sits down, he could already hear the tick-tocking of her heels approaching.

“Yes, bella?” he greets turning his head to her direction. There she was looking so regal in her black off-shoulder gown, walking towards him.

For a moment, she stops to take a good look at him. He was wearing nothing but those swimming shorts. She couldn’t help but agree that Sandro was no doubt a very handsome man, with a well-toned muscular body. 

“See something you like, bella?” he teased, seeing the expression of admiration in her face. 

Tilly smiles, clears her throat, and crosses her arms. “In fact yes... you’re a really handsome man, Sandro!” she says shamelessly, catching him off-guard. Often, a woman would either ‘neg’ him, tease him, call him arrogant, outright deny it, play coy, or play games when in such situations. But it completely surprised him that Tilly owned up to it. 

“Wow... Thank you...” he chuckled, not really knowing how to respond to her honesty. 

Tilly nonchalantly sits at the lounge chair behind him and asks. “What made you want to swim at this time?”

“I don’t know?” he said, as he looked up at sky. “ I just found it a little too warm for my liking, I guess...” he says, when she was the very reason.

“I see, well, I’ve come to tell you that I have your new suit ready. I placed it on top of your bed, just wear it when the people from the magazine arrives.” she instructs, before walking off.

“Where are you going?” he asked, watching her walk back to the door. 

“I’m gonna take a nap, I’d appreciate it if you’d wake me half-an-hour later!” she says, before closing the door behind her.

                                                          **********

Sandro smiled, trying to contain his laughter, as he approached a sleeping Tilly, laying in the couch. He didn’t understand the weird, hammerhead shark looking ‘headdress’ she was wearing. He did see it in a magazine before and thought it was ridiculous.

“Well, an odd wife indeed...” he tells himself. “So she does have her inelegant moments...” he adds, realizing that he always saw her composed and dignified. 

“Wake up, bella... they’re here...” he said, slightly shaking her. To his surprise, Tilly gets up, in a bit of a panic.

“I can’t see! what’s happening!!??” she said, her hands flailing in slight panic. 

Sandro bit his lips to stop himself from laughing and pulled the unsightly thing off her head. 

“Oh!” she lets out, laughs a bit, which caught him off-guard, he surely did not expect Tilly to laugh at herself. “I forgot I was wearing that...” she said, a little embarrassed.

“What the hell is this?” he says, examining the weird looking object. 

“An ostrich-pillow... I’d get you one if you want?” she offered. 

“No, Thank you...” he said, placing it on the side. The thing looked far from an ostrich. 

                                                          ********** 

“Hi! how are you doing?!” Tilly greets the interviewer cordially, giving her a hug and the customary kiss on each cheek.

“I am fine, oh by the way, you look stunning!” the journalist compliments and looks at Tilly from head to toe with admiration.  “Congratulations and Best Wishes to both you and your husband!” she adds.

“Thank You!” was her response.

Sandro watched from the side as Tilly greets the staff from the magazine one by one. It wasn’t so long ago that she looked unpoised, wearing the hammerhead pillow of hers. Now she was back to graceful and sophisticated Tilly. 

“Sandro?” Tilly called and then turned back to the journalist. “ Come and meet my husband, Sandro...” she says. “Sandro this is my friend and reporter Lauren Wescott, Lauren, this is my husband, Alessandro Balestreri...” 

“Nice to meet you Mr Balestreri, congratulations on your wedding, and winning the Forbes Travel Guide and Haute Grandeur awards.” Lauren mentions, referring to Sandro’s actual job. 

Though Sandro’s family is still a mafia, they had long since been trying legalize, and have been continuing to do so. In the surface, everyone knew Sandro as the outstanding and award winning restaurateur and hotelier, and the COO (Chief Operations Officer) of the Balestreri Group. Only those who are loyal to the oath of Omerta knows what Sandro is and his family, including Tilly’s family. Though Sandro and Tilly’s family have long been trying to legalize their businesses, it never meant that they still don’t get their hands dirty. Especially when things take a different turn. Sometimes, things are just done the hard way.

“I heard that you and your hotels were nominated for the Stelliers awards? I wish you luck...” Lauren adds, talking about another hotel awards. 

“Ah, yes, Thank You... I do hope to win something this year...” he adds. “Please take a seat...” he offers as he sat beside Tilly. “Shall we begin?”

“Of course!” she says enthusiastically. Lauren takes out a pen notepad, ready to jot down notes. “So how did you two meet?”

“Oh, through my parents, and then his aunt...” was Tilly’s simple answer. “His aunt was trying to matchmake me with him, and so here we are...” she added. 

“Matchmaking?! that’s a good way to meet each other, specially now that it’s full of social dating apps...” Lauren comments and sighs. 

“The first time you met, what were the things that caught your attention about your significant other?” Lauren reads from her notes.

“ I always saw Sandro as a man with quiet confidence about him. I would say the most memorable part of the first meeting would be his eyes. When I turned to look at him, he was looking at me with the citrine eyes of his... and I was not able to speak, so I drank tea to cover it up.” Tilly turns to face Sandro who had one brow arched, and a mischievous smile plastered on his lips. She knew that what she said will be used against her anytime soon.

Sandro’s turn came, and looked at Tilly. “ The first thing I noticed and captured my attention was her voice. Well, she might not know this, but the first time I met her was during the Wimbledon...”

“Oh!” Tilly looks at him surprised, and tries to see if he was making this up, or she had really seen him in person before?

“Really? we would love to hear that story?!” Lauren says, interested at the story that Sandro was about to tell.

“ It was during the men’s doubles a few years back. There was this lady and her brother, who was seated beside me and It turns out to be her.” he begins, Lauren was genuinely interested, whilst Tilly felt nervous, and tried to recall if she had committed any blunder that day. 

“It was when Marach was hit in the worst possible spot, and then I overhear this woman beside me telling her brother, ‘ Headlines tomorrow, ‘Marach gets a whack!’ Well, he doesn’t have to worry about contraception now!’ ” Sandro says, saying it in typical Tilly fashion, spot on with her scottish accent.

Lauren throws her head back laughing, remembering that particular incident during one of the Wimbledon’s match. “ Yes! that is so Tilly!”  confirming Sandro’s story on how Tilly usually is.

Tilly laughed along too, in relief.  But she did remember the guy beside her laughing at her dry comment, dress in a light blue summer suit, wearing shades. But then that was all to it. She just didn’t  expect that her future husband had been sitting right next to her then.

By the way, if you want to read the previous story, here it is,  ‘The Wedding’

The Next Part of this story is here; ‘Marriage’

A/N:  I will be editing this because I probably have made a number of grammatical errors. I hope you enjoyed the story. FYI. It will be a series of one shots.

[ezekielbhandarivalleros]

Movie Night

Characters: Logan, Colt Kaneko, Mona and Toby

Summary: When Logan Bails out on a date with Colt, Colt gives Logan something else

Third Chapter of Gay Bad Boys Series

                                        (Logan POV)

The room was black. The only light was coming from the TV in front of me. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. My arms were wrapped around Colt and my head was resting on his shoulder. I was breathing on instinct. I had no control over my actions. My whole mind was focused around the movie in front of me. I had come to the conclusion that Toby was going to die because he made me watch this movie with his family.

It was movie night at Toby's house and he decided that he wanted to celebrate Halloween early by watching a horror movie in the middle of July. I didn't really care for horror movies, I found them repetitive and not really scary but this was actually really good.

The music got louder as the actress walked closer to the killer. My throat was closing and my breath was starting to get uneven. I was leaning closer to the screen and scooted closer to Colt. I knew I was going to jump and I wanted Colt to catch me.

His hand was rubbing my arm and he was whispering something to me. I wasn't paying enough attention to understand what he was saying. I think it was somewhere along the lines of "it's just a movie Logan. It's just a movie." It wasn't just a movie. It was the single most amazing movie in the world.

The actress screamed as the killer came out of his hiding space with a Chainsaw. I jumped and somehow landed so I was lying across Colt's lap. My arms were now around his neck and my head was buried into his chest as her screams and the killer's chainsaw echoed through the surround sound.

Colt wrapped his arms around me, pushing me tighter to his chest. "Toby," he was speaking so softly that I could barely hear him over the surround sound, "find another movie. This is scaring Logan."

"No!" I screamed pulling my face from Colt's chest. "I'm fine! It was just that one part. I promise that I won't get that scared again."

The TV glowed on Colt's face making his skin look like a porcelain doll. His lips were pursed and he was staring at me. I tried to manipulate my face so that I could convince him that I was brave enough to handle the rest of the horror movie, even though we both knew that it would probably give me nightmares for the rest of the week.

"Fine." Colt finally sighed. "But I don't like it."

"I know you don't." I sighed as I turned my attention back to the TV.

Two characters were having sex on a bed in the killer's house. My face dropped and I rested my head on Colt's chest. He kissed my cheek and moved his fingers through my hair. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded not really paying attention to the TV. It was too awkward.

"I think this is the first time that Colt has ever seen a naked chick before." Toby called from the side of the room.

I bit my lip as I tried not to laugh. Toby had somehow managed to make the sex even more awkward.

"Hey Logan, if anything starts poking you, you let us know." Toby couldn't keep himself from laughing.

"Toby" Mona growled at him. "That's enough."

But the damage was already done. My face was red and I was trying, with little success, not to laugh. I put my hands over my face and pushed my covered face against Colt's neck. My whole body was shaking with laughter. I think Mona, who was extremely talented at controlling people's emotions, had something to do with this.

"Well my work here is done." Toby announced. The couch squeaked as he got to his feet. "Have fun watching the rest of the movie Logan."

After the sex scene things seemed to slow down. The teenagers looked for the answer to why the killer was killing people, it was the usual made fun of in school for being different, went to a mental hospital, died in the mental hospital, and now was somehow brought back to life by some weird form of Satanism.

"I told you I wasn't going to get scared." I whispered to Edward cockily.

He ran his fingers through my hair and gave me a light kiss on my forehead. "Nothing has popped out at you, love." He reminded me giving me another kiss on my cheek. There was a light undertone of humor in his voice.

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the screen. One of the female teenagers was in the same room as the killer. Her hands were strapped above her head and the killer was holding a knife to her throat as he took off her clothes, his deformed lips kissing on her neck. The girl was sweating and screaming as he continued to molest her.

I bit my lip and rested my head on Colt's chest. His body had stiffened and he wrapped his arms securely around me. I was fighting the urge to cry. I didn't think this part was necessary to the movie. The creators just wanted to see how far they could go without getting production cut off.

I waited for Colt to tease me about getting scared but instead he continued to hold me as the girl started to cry, the killer's dirt covered hands wrapping around her breast.

"I love you, Logan" Colt whispered in my ear. "And I would never let anything like that happen to you."

I think he was saying it to calm himself more than me. I knew that he would never let anyone hurt me like that but it was still nice hearing it from him. His hand cupped mine and his free hand grabbed my chin and turned my head so I would look at him. His face was hard but his eyes were softer, almost like he was sad.

"Seriously Logan,"Colt's voice was stern, "nothing like that will ever happen to you."

"I know." I whispered.

Colt leaned down and pressed his lips lightly against mine. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms loosely around his neck. I expected him to pull away, like he always did, but he continued to push me closer, his kiss becoming more desperate. I wasn't sure but I think Colt was scared.

He turned his head to the side and pressed his lips on mine again. The sound of screams and a chainsaw was coming from the surround sound but it didn't scare me anymore. I was kissing Colt with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I was on cloud nine and nothing could bother me anymore.

Colt pulled away and gave me a light kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and took a small sigh. The sound of the chainsaw was louder than it had ever gotten. Its main focus was coming from the speakers behind the couch. When Colt let go of my chin, I looked behind me just out of curiosity.

There was a white mask staring at me. My jaw dropped and my breath was catching in my throat. I was trying to breathe which instead made me hyperventilate. The masked killer lifted up his chainsaw, effortlessly, as he turned to his head to the side. He pulled the cord to it again letting it make the vroom sound.

I screamed pushing myself from Colt's chest so I could I get as far away from the masked killer as possible. I fell off the couch and landed on the floor. I was trying to get to my feet but it was turning out to be more difficult than I thought it would. My feet kept slipping and my heart was pounding angrily against my chest.

Loud laughter was coming from where the masked killer was standing. The lights had come on and someone had turned off the TV. I stopped trying to get up and looked at the killer behind the couch.

Toby was doubled over laughing, his mask slapping against his knee.

"Are you okay, Colt?" Mona asked behind me. Her cold fingers wrapping around my arm so she could help me to my feet.

I looked at her and nodded. Her perfect face was scrunched up as she frowned at me. "I'm fine." I lied. My voice was starting to crack.

Toby's laughter got louder. "That was perfect!" He screamed as he continued to laugh. "I planned it out perfectly!"

"Are you okay, Logan?" Colt asked standing in front of me. He pulled me out of Mona gripped so he could get a better examination of me. His could hands gripped my face and he was patting at my body.

I nodded. "I'm fine." I promised. "Really, I am." I was still shaken. All I wanted to do was Colt to hold and promise me that it was really Toby behind the mask.

Colt nodded once before turning back to Toby. His face got hard and he looked like he was about to murder someone, which I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

"Run." He growled at Toby. "Run like a fucking grizzly bear is chasing after you."

My Taglist Ask to be removed or added @princessemberphoenix @daddyethanramsey @idontknowhatiamdoinghere @simp-for-villains @jamespotterthefirst @everythingchoices @edwardstanno1 @somewillwin @ajstarfury @tyrilsnightbloom @tyrilstarfury @tyril-simp @lumpyspaceprincessismybitch @adrianadmirer @princess-geek @rodappreciationweek @misss-maidy-laddy @neelanwyb @beccaislove @starrystarrytrouble @thechoicesforrealin @gamechoices-player

[pellicano-sanguino]

Random thoughts of Castlevania season 3

Contains spoilers

Things I liked:

- More female characters, ones that actually get to speak.

- Lesbian vampires with cool designs, hell yeah!

- Fight scenes were epic, the use of magic very creative.

- L-legion???    ...is that you?

- I recognized some other monster designs from the games, that was pretty fun.

- Little backstory for one of the women in Dracula’s war council. She still doesn’t get to speak, but it was cool.

- Unlike I predicted, Carmilla does not get a disgusting rapey death scene.

- Unlike I predicted, Dracula doesn’t get resurrected (it’s Castlevania, it was sort of expected to happen). Considering how epic the last fight was and how well his death scene was done, I am happy they didn’t try to recreate that. The ending of season 2 was perfect and it’s better to make it final. Let him rest in peace.

Things I didn’t like:

- Lesbian vampires, but no girlfriend for Carmilla. Come on, guys! She is the original lesbian vampire!

- In season 2 I hated that the vampire generals in Dracula’s war council are given cool designs but they end up being mute, two-dimentional whipfodder. In this season, we introduce characters who actually get to speak and have a little depth of character and they still end up being nothing but plot devices to sacrifice for another character’s development. 

- With the masochistic self harm in season 2 and now pet play in this season, I’m beginning to think there’s some horny dude in the writing team who bribes everyone else so he can make his kinks into script.

- Why the fuck is Lisa in Hell? Unless in this universe there is no Heaven, that’s the only reason I could ever imagine for her being cast into Hell.

- There are two unnecessary and inescapable sex scenes. They are unnecessary because the things they lead to could easily happen without the sex. They are inescapable because they happen simultaneously with other important shit, and the show keeps cutting into the sex while I also try to keep up what’s happening elsewhere. Eww. Also, while one of these sex scenes at least feels like something that might happen (there’s flirting and such leading to it) the other one just comes right out of fucking nowhere and feels super random and out of character.

- Speaking of sex; a female character using sex for manipulation. I was so pleased in season 2 when they didn’t turn Carmilla into a stupid femme fatale who uses her feminine wiles to manipulate men. And now they do it to another female character, I am disappointed. Also, like the rest of the ladies, I did not need to hear Lenore overshare.

- Carmilla avoids a disgusting rapey death scene in this season, but my prediction still stands. If the show gets a fourth season, they are going to kill her, her killer is going to be male and it will look like a rape metaphor. I’ve seen the signs, I see where they are taking us. Actually, now that the show has had sex scenes, a rape scene is quite possible. I wouldn’t put it past them.

edit. to add this one:

- In season 2, the scene where Carmilla beats the shit out of Hector is painful but it has meaning. At least I thought it was supposed to have meaning, this one; it was supposed to be the moment where his naivety about the nature of vampirism finally ends. How he compared them to cats, playing cruelly with their prey, how he was willing to condemn all of humanity to be cattle for vampires, forgetting that he too is human so why would the vampires treat him any differently. This was supposed to be the turning point for him, where he no longer trusts vampires, no longer lets them manipulate him and maybe, begins to re-examine his hatred of humans. But no, season 3 comes along and Hector keeps voting for the Leopards Eating Peoples Faces Party and then is shocked that the leopards would eat his face. It’s like he learned nothing, like that painful scene in season 2 served no purpose other than to be torture porn.

[jacobsillcommunication]

Use of Typography in Films

Typography is an integral part of graphic design, and plays a role in many of the most iconic and memorable pieces of marketing. All ads (aside from perhaps hyper minimalist ones) use typography, but meaningful or creative use of text design can elevate a promotional poster to the status of art and pop culture. For our purposes today, I am going to be examining instances from film in specific, but it should be noted that examples of this kind of artistic typography can be seen in any kind of media. The specific examples I have chosen for this exercise are movie posters or title cards that I think help communicate the tone and style of the movie they’re promoting through creative uses of typography. 

The first piece of media I will be looking at is this promotional poster for the 2008 film The Dark Knight. This movie is known for its grim and comparatively mature tone compared to other superhero films. It is also known for the historic inclusion of the insane and unhinged portrayal of the villain The Joker, played with perfect intensity by Heath Ledger. This poster draws attention to both of these important aspects of the film through typography alone. The movie title is in a bold, dramatic impact font, symbolizing the seriousness of the tone and subject matter. The stark white text casts a shadow and it is laid over a shattered version of the iconic bat symbol. The audience can expect darkness and some kind of fracturing as Batman as a person or as a figure. The more interesting use of typography is in the “Why So Serious?” written across the top of the poster. The phrase itself is one of the standout lines from the film, which is said by the Joker in a pivotal scene. What makes the type interesting though, is that it appears to be written in fresh blood. Not only that, but the Joker’s foggy figure can be seen through what seems to be some kind of murky glass. The red of the blood clues us into the violence, passion and rage of the film, and the fact that it is in fact blood does that as well. What is really excellent about this poster is that it is almost interactive. The tagline for the movie isn’t being printed on the poster by the studio, the character from the film is painting the words in blood himself, giving us a foreboding preview of the deranged clown that would stick in America’s minds for decades. 

Next, and on a less intense note, I would like to examine the title card for Wes Anderson’s 2014 film The Grand Budapest Hotel. The text floats above the titular hotel, it’s golden yellow hues paired beautifully with the pink of the building, the blue of the snowy mountains, and the dark browns of the snowless cliffs. What I find marvelous about the use of typography in this frame is the handcrafted appearance of the letters. They appear to be cut pieces of paper, or wood carved, and the uneven coloring throughout emphasizes this aesthetic decision. Wes Anderson is known for his lovingly handcrafted and composed sets and shots in his films, he is also known for his indie ethos. The Grand Budapest Hotel is almost an encapsulation of all of his endeavors up to the point it was made and features stunningly handcrafted miniature sets for establishing shots. The text design reflects this crafted approach, and the regal font paired with the decorative arch for the word Budapest reflect the film’s high society, elegant setting. It also clues viewers into the frilly and whimsy filled world that Anderson’s films inhabit. 

Last I would like to take a look at the promotional poster for the 2008 rom com 27 Dresses starring Katherine Heigl. The typography in this film poster is very clever, as it manages to take all of the required text for the poster and cram it into a shape to complete the image of the poster. This makes it unique, but it also adds into the theme of the film. The main character has been a bridesmaid 27 times, hence the title, so the text forms a dress for the character in the image, with the title standing out in pink as if it is a bow or embellishment, which helps emphasize the title while adding some style to the “dress”. The words are typed in a playful, hand-written sort of font, which clues you into the lighthearted nature of the film. The combination of white and pink also adds to the sugary sort of appeal of a film of this nature, and the dated use of pink to implicate a female audience is also employed here. 

All in all, you need to have text to promote a movie or even to display the credits. Most movies do a fine job at matching the type face to the tone of the film. What really sticks in people’s memories are images in which the text says something about what we’re about to watch, or plays with our idea of how type even works. When you break the mold, and have the text of your movie poster be mysteriously written by the film’s central villain, or creatively use a shape to make boring text integral to the image of the poster, you have a potential to create an image that stands the test of time, and maybe outlasts the relevance of the film itself. 

[gasoline-and-matches-story]

Gasoline and Matches--Chapter One

Author’s notes: Greetings, lovelies--Spirit here bringing some original content for once. I’ve been working on this story for a long time, started it in high school with my friend @tiltingplanet. I hope you all enjoy the first chapter, any feedback would be lovely.

Chapter One

“I swear to fucking god--I am not skinny dipping in a random cave pool with you assholes.”

Yomi winced at the overly loud voice of her fellow classmate, pressing her back to a cave wall while everyone bickered. The tucked away corner of stone was her only solace--Hard, cold despite the sticky heat that came with a summer day. Of all the things she could have done with her Saturday, this was by far the most reckless. Idiotic. Completely out of character for the white and black-haired girl. Not one for parties or celebrations of any kind, yet here she was on private property in the middle of that god damn night. Trespassing in an abandoned cave system with seven other rowdy teenagers, trying her best to sit and not be noticed while a small bonfire flickered orange hues onto the cave walls in tantalizing patterns. As if the evening wasn’t hot enough.

To be fair, she didn’t consider herself close to any one of these people, minus Bethany--the girl who dragged Yomi to the party in the first place. A beautiful, bubbly female with dark skin and a personality that stretched on for miles. Saying no to such perseverance was impossible for Yomi, who wasn't the most assertive to begin with. One thing lead to another, someone mentioning the caves and a bonfire before piling eight troublemakers into a minivan. Yomi was, literally and figuratively, dragged into the situation. To say she went kicking and screaming was heavily exaggerated, but boy it sure felt like it. Beth was way too aggressive for her own good, and Yomi considered herself a push-over despite all the rules she set to make sure these kinds of situations didn’t happen.

Should have stayed home. Shouldn’t have come out here, but...

There was  hesitation, a reluctance that clung to the walls of her skull and refused to let go no matter how much reason was thrown at it. Was it really so wrong to want to try and be a teenager for once? To be out with people her own age, kissing the final year of high school goodbye with something silly and reckless. At least, in this case, she could have done better. They could have chosen a safer, cleaner, less illegal place to kick up her feet. But alas, idiotic minds seemed to think alike in these cases--There were very few voices of reason, and the loudest ones seemed to be those aching to be as reckless as possible.

“Come on, Em,” Jack’s slightly slurred words drew Yomi out of her thoughts, the drunken creature sitting on a rickety arm chair and sipping cheap beer--issue number one? Check. Underage drinking was by far her least favorite part of the evening, “Where’s your sense of adventure? Some hot springs, a little consensual nudity...what could be more fun?”

Jack was a twin, the other member of the set being his sister Ann. Yomi peered between the two as surreptitiously as possible, analyzing the similar shades of blonde hair and green eyes. They were both equally aggravating when it came to starting grievances in school, bouncing off each other like a very bad game of pong. Attractive, but in a similar way to things like poisonous frogs. Bright, shiny, masking jagged edges and toxic skin underneath all the pretty smiles and charismatic exteriors. Yomi knew well enough not to get close, but they were friends with Beth as well.

Jack was addressing Emma, one of the other girls Yomi knew was as reluctant to be there as she was. Voice of reason number one--Closer to the fire, sitting cross-legged on a thin blanket as she tried to ignore the men imploring her to go. She was the definition of tall and curvaceous, the flickering fire light casting shadows over her form from head to toe. Yomi almost rolled her eyes at the men frothing at the mouth--judging by Emma’s figure, their flimsy excuses were pretty obviously hiding their real reason for wanting her to come.

Emma was not oblivious.

“Eat shit and drown,” She held up her middle finger at Jack, shoving his face away when he tried to make pleading eyes, “I have to drive you dumb fucks home later. I’m not letting anyone into my car while wet, and if any of you try its an automatic pass to walking home.”

The caves weren’t an extreme distance from the small town they all lived in, but it was far enough that most of the fire-side listeners actively winced. 

Jack practically whined, those green eyes wide and pleading as he implored, “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Em…! Why would you wanna pass up on the healing experience?”

“You and I have very differing opinions on what is considered healing,” Emma retorted, sipping a bottle of soda and turning in a different direction, “I’m not here to dip into some glorified, stanky cave water. But by all means don’t let me stop you, Jackie. Just be prepared for the consequences of walking home on the interstate and explaining to the police chief why you’re out so late and dripping wet to boot.”

Several groans rang out, Jack flopping back in that chair and pouting like a sulking child. Drinking, as expected, turned the teen into the equivalent of a drunken toddler. Yomi still found herself sighed internally with relief, letting that curtain of hair fall forward to shield her face a bit. There were currently more girls than boys, so their dumb idea was overruled for the most part. But...she doubted that would be the case for long, not with a certain someone growing more and more intrigued with each passing second and gulps of alcohol. Bethany was the only one way too on board for her own good, eyes sparkling at the notion of even seeing a hot spring and spending time with the boys in general. She was such a smart girl, exceeding incredibly well in class and reaching top marks despite all the chaos she included herself in.

She just craved excitement far too much, compared to the girl she dragged along with her.

It seemed way too dangerous in Yomi’s opinion, especially considering these caves were abandoned for a reason. Mind you, they weren’t too far in. There was a large hole in the ceiling showing the night sky, venting the smoke so they wouldn’t spend the evening coughing and hacking. But the cave system further down had to be treacherous, carved out long ago by either flooding or miners, she wasn’t sure on the details to be completely honest. Each member of the town seemed to have their own take on just how the cave system got there. And with someone in the group walking with crutches, there was no way their desired spelunking adventure should come to pass, right?

Yomi looked at the girl in question, peering through the safety of her black and white hair to examine Mira’s face. 

Sitting opposite of her by the fire was the girl in question, seeming lost in thought while the others argued and laughed. She was pretty in an unconventional sort of way, with strong features and red hair cropped short at her shoulders. Out of everyone in the group, Mira being here was the only thing more surprising than Yomi herself--exploring in an abandoned cave system on forearm crutches was a terrible idea. After a car accident in freshman year, Mira had been through a slew of surgeries to fix extensive damage to her legs. It wasn’t perfect, but she could walk with the aid of a cane on occasion, more than that on others.. Out of everyone here, she was another one not drinking, sitting in a lawn chair with her scarred legs stretched out near the fire. Just close enough to warm her skin, the flickering flames casting dancing patterns over the roadmap of surgery marks, of cuts long healed and what had to be extensive pain. 

Strong.

Yomi admired her heavily, Mira had far more guts and determination than she ever could. It took strength to come back from what she endured, and even more so to keep going with an attitude of non-caring. Head held high, chin up, feet moving.

She seemed a tad bit annoyed with the boys as well, pushing her cropped red hair behind her ear and narrowing those emerald green eyes on Jack’s pouting face. He was still bitching, the alcohol making his words a bit sloppy.

“Didn’t take this lot to be a buncha pussies,” He complained, crushing the now-empty beer can against his thigh and tossing it to the side, “Came all this way and y’all won’t even follow through…!”

“Careful, Jack, your hick is showing.” Mira retorted, sipping innocently from a can of soda when he whipped his gaze over to her. She remained unperturbed, as always.

“Saying the word y’all isn’t hick,” There was a frown on his lips, mingled with intense disappointment as those rusty gears that made up his alcohol-soaked brain started to grind in thought, “That’s cowboy shit, right?”

His sister Ann, who was spread over a sheet on the dusty floor, let out a heavy groan at his words and pressed her hands to her face in absolute exasperation. It was very clear who was in ownership of the shared twin brain cell at that moment.

“Jack you are the most humiliating fucking person I have ever met,” She sighed, tone sounding so tired while everyone else cracked up laughing at Jack’s expense, “Cowboys are a southern thing you absolute twat.”

Yomi purposely looked away while the others started cackling, sipping from a can of soda and trying to focus on the sugary contents as a means of avoiding laughter herself. Jack was never the brightest bulb in the pack, and cheap beer made it all worse. Underage drinking was never a good idea, and the quiet girl hated it with a passion, so this was just proving every point she had created for herself. Bad behavior? Check. Enhancing foolish ideas to the point that they seemed like good ones? Check. Turning an already idiotic eighteen year old into a god damn man child? Two checks and a very exasperated Yomi there to write them in.

Jack puffed up like an angry cat, glaring daggers at his sister as he stammered, “W...well I knew that…! I was just, y’know…”

“Being a dumbass?” Emma provided helpfully, sitting back and leaning all her weight on her arms, “Baby steps, Jackie. You’ll reach the basic level of human intelligence someday.”

Yomi felt like that was heavily unlikely, but she kept her mouth shut, instead fiddling with the trim on her shorts while the group erupted again. There was certainly a lot of drinking going on with Jack, Ann, Beth, and Jake. Ann handled it a lot better than the boys did, but Beth was turning into a giggly sorority girl, which was definitely not a good thing. They were the loudest of the group when it came to laughing and joking, whereas Clark, Emma, and Mira were as calm as Yomi was. At least there were some sane people in the group. 

How much longer was it going to be before she could go home? Beth had lost all interest in her now that she was bouncing off the others, the girl’s choice to drink not sitting well with Yomi. Alcohol as a whole always put the quiet group member on edge, an extra reason why she wanted to be free of these idiots.

They’re not idiots, She reminded herself, shoulders slumping a bit at her own rude line of thinking, They’re being normal teenagers. You’re the odd one here.

Reprimanding herself was the only way to correct her own negativity toward others, so she tried to make it a habit. Yomi also tried to force herself to relax--this was supposed to be fun, right? She was out with kids her age, doing “crimes” and nibbling on fireside food late at night. Trying to look on the bright side of it, to find good in the bad. Given the choice, however, she wished there was less underage drinking involved.

“Now now, kids,” Clark’s baritone voice pulled her out of her musings, looking up to see the dark-skinned male stand up and brush off the dust, “How about we just walk around for a bit? Some basic spelunking, no swimming involved.”

The two other boys perked up at that, practically bouncing in the orange hue of the fire as they stood as well.

“I like that word,” Jake, the other group trouble maker and notoriously horny on main, purred as he slung an arm around Emma and dragged her up unwillingly--someone was going to lose a finger, Jake the best candidate, “Come on now, kitten, let’s go spelunking. Sounds sexy, amiright?”

Em made a visible face of disgust, firmly peeling his arm off of her and gripping to the point of pain. Made obvious by Jake’s yelp of alarm. 

“Call me kitten again, and you’ll be experiencing the joy of my size seven shoes up your ass.” She said in a sugary sweet tone, one that barely veiled the threat she was putting across.

He whined in response, yanking his arm back and rubbing his aching wrist. Everyone else seemed to be standing as well, easily convinced by Clark’s reasonable tone, much to Yomi’s absolute dismay. So much for not  exploring the caves. This was shaping to be an incredibly nerve-wracking evening, the dark tunnels plummeting into the Earth seeming intimidating and empty when she turned to gaze into them. It made the timid girl incredibly nervous, coming to her feet as well and gripping the edges of her blouse with firm fingers. They were already in a place they shouldn’t be, so why add the extra danger to the mix?

 Even Mira, the one who seemed like she shouldn’t be cave diving at all, was now on board. Not wanting to be left out from anything. Yomi contemplated giving her an imploring look, but thought against it. 

“Jake, you would find the word ‘hamper’ sexy. Get over yourself.” With that, the redhead struggled to her feet, limping across the cave with both hands firmly grasping the crutches on her arms. She seemed completely determined, those green eyes sharp and gait suggesting she wouldn’t be swayed in the slightest.

“Mira, hold on! Let me walk with you.” Clark scrambled up, boy scout instincts kicking in to make sure Mira didn’t fall to her doom somewhere. Yomi liked that about Clark-- that he genuinely cared about people. Only problem was that he was a negotiator, trying to find a middle ground for what everyone wanted.

Too bad what Yomi wanted was to go home and be free of this situation. But Clark didn’t know that, especially not with her too nervous to speak up. 

Jake made a face at Mira's back, sounding incredibly immature as he mocked, “Myeh myeh myeh, I'm Mira and have to be sarcastic all the time.”

He blew a raspberry, which was further evidence that not a single male in the group could handle drinking without morphing into a child. Yomi almost rolled her eyes. 

“Grow up, Jake.” Several of the girls said dryly in reply, sounding like a choir of reason in the face of such nonsense. All but Bethany, who was seeming to have a great time now that the spelunking operation was back on board.

This was starting to become tiresome--Yomi would have rather not sit there and listen to the banter that cropped up when Jake got into one of those moods again. Not to mention the fact that staying with Beth would only result in her being sucked into all the horniness they were carrying around. And shockingly enough...someone seemed to notice her exhausted expression before she managed to hide it. Emma had been staring across the cave at Yomi, those stern eyes searching and missing nothing, especially not with her knowing full well that Beth had played a big part in dragging the reluctant new member of the group along.

What Yomi didn’t expect was for her to actually act on it.

“Why don’t you guys go exploring without us?” The woman suggested helpfully to one half of the group, eyeing Mira as she clung to Clark a bit for support and sounding incredibly disapproving of the situation, “I’ll keep an eye on the dumbasses while they look for water, and to prevent any potential cave ins caused by Jake and Jack’s stupidity--”

Cave-ins?

“Hey!” Both boys protested, looking thoroughly chastised--like somehow the idea of them causing trouble was absolutely ludicrous.

“Regardless,” Emma interjected loudly, rolling her eyes at their ranging expressions of insult and annoyance, “I’d rather Yomi and Clarke make sure Mira doesn’t fall in somewhere, you’re the only ones other than me who are sober.”

Clark and Mira seemed surprised to even hear Yomi’s name, turning to look at her with mirrored expressions of shock as if her presence had been lost on them both. It occurred to her that pair had probably not talked to her in school much before, outside asking for help with a question or for borrowing a pencil. Hell, Yomi hadn’t said a word the whole trip minus occasionally mumbling to Beth, replying to her constant questions and cheerful banter as much as she could handle. So those expressions they wore should not be hurtful.

Right?

“Oh, cool, the more the merrier.” Clark said, awkwardly dithering behind Mira as she sought to walk further into the cave. Almost impatiently. The redhead looked eager for adventure, green eyes sparkling in the firelight as she nudged the bigger male’s arm with her forearm crutches.

Am I doing this right? Yomi wondered anxiously, keeping her eyes on Mira like observing the girl would somehow teach her the proper ways to act, Should I be excited instead of worried? Shouldn’t I want to do something risky?

While she fretted, everyone continued on obliviously. Beth had zero complaints with Em’s demands, seeming more than happy to walk around with the other guys in her drunken state. She smiled cheerfully, giving a small finger wave as Emma locked arms with her, “M’kay, we’ll meet back up here, yeah?”

She didn’t wait for Yomi’s response, turning and practically dragging Emma down a branching path. Thank god the more reasonable woman was going with them, to make sure no one did anything stupid. All of it was all too much to bear for someone like Yomi, the drunken state of her fellow classmates a bit too intimidating. She was grateful for that at the very least, they needed one reasonable person to make sure the skinny dipping didn’t happen, and to keep Beth safe and sound from such exasperating indivduals. 

Regardless, she turned when Mira pushed forward eagerly, trailing carefully behind while Clarke shadowed the redhead’s steps.  The heat of the bonfire slowly started to fade as they pushed through the jagged edges of the tunnel entrance, wary not to trip on a few huge rocks and pieces of the cave wall. All the while Yomi was trying to shake her sense of worry, scrambling to figure out just what to say to her two classmates. Why was this so hard? Once upon a time she had friends, close to so many people in elementary school until...well. Things had changed, so much had happened that it sometimes felt like her head was still spinning from the stress of all of it. There was solace in silence, one she had come to rely on far too much.

Luckily...it would not need to be thought about long, because someone took the reigns out of her hesitant hands and spoke. The same someone she had started looking to for any indication on how to be a normal human being. 

“Didn't want to listen to them either?” Mira asked casually as the light began to die away, sloping downwards into darkness and snapping Yomi out of her thoughts, “I don't blame you. The best people have brains in their heads...I think Jake has vodka instead.”

Clark snorted, laughing into his hand. At least he was finding amusement in this. She couldn’t help herself either--Yomi half smiled in agreement, surprised to find comfort in their company now that the more rowdy group members were separated and relieved that the other girl seemed at ease with drawing her into the conversation. Mira had the habit in school of saying the crass version of what everyone was thinking, speaking her mind at all times, but it was somehow...welcome, and accurate. Jake, best known for puking on his SAT thanks to a hangover, absolutely had a skull full of cheap vodka.

“I think you may be right,” Yomi replied, gaze turned away and pulling out her phone to light the path once it occurred to her how low the visibility was getting, “Do you guys think this is a good idea…? Maybe splitting up to go cave diving on abandoned property isn’t...the smartest.”

Mira let out a light laugh at that, leaning heavily on her cane as she replied, “This group isn’t known for their brains. Though I will say,” She gave Yomi a side-long glance, raising one delicate eyebrow at her, “Pretty surprised to see you at this little get-together. You never seemed to be the partying type.”

That made the girl wince, turning away from Mira’s searching eyes. She certainly had the knack for saying exactly what would make one squirm, which was fine when it wasn’t directed at the most nervous one of the group. There was a prolonged silence as Yomi thought over the comment in general, trying to gather the best thing she could say in response. This was the topic of the year, muttered in hallways with curious and skeptical eyes watching her. Why doesn’t Yomi “participate” in anything? Does she think herself to be better than everyone because of her family? To come out to a party such as this after three whole years of keeping to herself, trying desperately to stay under the radar--it was understandable that Mira would be curious.

Others were just too cowardly to ask.

“I...well...I wanted to try.” Yomi murmured in reply, feeling both sets of eyes on her as she stepped down over a lip in the path. She couldn’t remember ever speaking about this to anyone, keeping all the issues locked up tight without burdening another person. But in the dark of the caves, out of her element...something could change, right?

“Just for a day. To try and be... normal.”

Whether or not that made sense was the question, but Yomi didn’t think there would be anything to worry about on that front. They definitely understood what was being put across, there was no doubting that. She realized easily as she turned to watch Clark help Mira down the incline, meeting his now-sympathetic gaze and feeling a bit surprised by the serious expression he wore. It didn’t change much to send him into concerned, big brother mode it would seem. Those dark eyes were gentle in the dim lighting, reflecting the glow of her cell phone with a steady gaze meeting her own

“Is it hard,” He asked hesitantly, like the thought hadn’t entered his head before, “For you to be normal? Or rather...to feel normal.”

Mira pursed her lips, emerald-green eyes also glinting in the light from Yomi’s phone as she waited for the reply.

Yomi let out a light hum in response, meeting Mira’s steady gaze and trying to decipher the emotion there. Something akin to understanding, thoughtful in nature. Since she asked the original question, it felt only right to give such answers to her.

“Might sound  silly, but...it does,” Yomi admitted, feeling strangely at ease while talking to someone like the brash redhead. There was something about her, a silent camaraderie Yomi didn’t understand--maybe due to how much the troubled girl respected and admired her? Strong, steadfast and determined in everything she did. Mira was certainly not the type to judge, nor had she partaken in all the criticizing that went around the school. She simply felt...curious, “It felt easier to just stay quiet and get through school as fast as I could. I...wanted to try and have fun for once.”

Mira snorted, saying exactly what Yomi herself had thought previously in the evening, “Hard to call that shit fun. We could have stayed at Clark’s place, watching anime reruns and covering ourselves in crumbs from the safety of his couch.”

Yomi blinked in response. She had never been to Clark’s house before--the very notion of being able to was somehow strange, a nice change of pace. Her brain created its own images of someplace nice and cozy, domestic in comparison to the big, empty house she lived in on a daily basis. It sounded pleasant.

Mira’s words made their classmate smile, a flash of those pearly whites as he laughed, “You’re just saying that because you like my dog.”

“And what moron wouldn’t?”

Yomi hid her smile at their conversation, trying to instead focus on navigating the narrow path in the dark. It was eerily quiet in the caves besides the echoing words from the other two. No dripping water, no sounds of animals or anything at all. Didn’t caves have bats? Mice? Strange eldritch creatures hungering for their flesh? Her imagination was getting out of control, which needed to be halted before it got worse. The path was starting to widen a bit, the walls looking less craggy and jagged to...smooth? Almost curved at the top like an archway, air drifting in from their backs and overcoming the stagnant smell with the one of crackling firewood. This felt...odd--why was the floor so even, the walls spaced perfectly like the cave had been carved out long ago?

Maybe these were mining caves after all?

Yomi frowned a bit, feeling along the wall and noticing what looked to be something carved into the stone and rock. It was strangely out of place on the crumbling, misshapen tunnel--everything around it had long since been messed up by the earth shifting and changing, but it was only this area that seemed to remain untouched, smooth, undisturbed by nature or anything like that. Yomi probed her fingers further, turning the light on her phone to brighten up what she was feeling for further examination. But that only increaded the confusion, amping up the surprise when she saw first hand what her hands were touching.

Not cracks, not carvings. These markings were different than that, and far more precise.

It looked almost...runic, made up of intricately curved lines and shapes. They reminded her of something she had seen in a video game, or a fantasy movie with witches and wizards. It didn’t look chiseled either--almost like it was burned into the stone with lava or a razor thin torch. That...couldn’t be right though, could it? Was cave dwelling cultists another story told in town when people spoke of the caves? The memory wasn’t exactly there, which was somehow even more concerning. Someone definitely had to take the time to make such strange markings, it was incredibly intricate and beautiful in design. Who could have such dedication, to come into a dark cave and make something no one would ever see?

Yet here they were, seeing them.

This is so unbelievably bizarre.

“What’s wrong?” Clark asked, pulling out his phone as well to shine light on their feet. He took a few steps closer, leaning over Yomi’s shoulder to stare at the marking and letting out a low murmur of, “Wow, that’s strange. Never seen anything like it.”

An understatement to be sure. It was almost ridiculous, like something she would have seen in a movie or storybook.

Mira came up on the other side as well, leaning her weight against the white and black-haired girl without a care in the world. Yomi paused in surprise, not minding the sudden contact, but...it felt weird having people be so close.

“Maybe some dumb devil-worshipping teenagers were down here,” She said dismissively, eyeing the rest of the tunnel with a troubled expression despite her laid-back tone, “Did any of you see a sheep’s carcass on our way down? Candles? Shrines devoted to the dark Lord Satan?”

Clark clicked his tongue disapprovingly, “See now, that’s not funny.”

“I thought it was hilarious,” Mira smirked, shoving his shoulder with one of her crutches, “Lighten up, Superman. Most you have to be scared of down here is Jake’s wandering hands.”

Yomi sighed at their joking, pressing her fingertips to the marks and tracing out one of the more prominent lines. Satan worshipers was one thing, but in a small town like theirs people like that would have been incredibly obvious. Even then, what the hell did they use to get the marks so precise and small? It certainly didn’t  look carved, at least not to her eyes-- more like it was burned into the stone’s surface like a brand. But if there was any scorching, it was not found by her carefully searching eyes in the dark. Something about it felt ominous and strange--the hairs on the back of Yomi’s neck stood up, signalling to her that they should probably just turn back.

Skinny dipping was one thing, finding mysterious symbols in a dark tunnel was definitely outside her final walls of comfort. She had enough spooks for one day, that was for certain.

But when she turned to tell them that, Clark was pressing onward, sliding one hand along the wall and holding up his phone with the other. Mira was following slowly behind, managing fairly well on her forearm crutches and staring at what had now garnered the boy’s attention.

Yomi blinked, eyes widening when she saw more and more symbols lining the walls, different in their patterns and designs and now taking up almost every available space. What the hell was all of this? She quickened her step, keeping half of her focus on Mira to make sure the girl wouldn’t stumble, the other half on the newfound mystery. Marking after marking, curving up toward the ceiling and turning into swirling images as they danced over the curves and stone. Depicting otherworldly creatures, dragons and giant birds in flight as they clashed in the sky. 

They were beautiful, but wasted in a cave such as this.

“Where did these come from…?” Yomi murmured, tracing the patterns with each step and unable to understand any of it, “You would think someone else would have found these markings, but...No one mentioned them, did they?”

She spent a lot of her time observing and listening. Even when news of these caves spread, no one spoke of something such as this.

Clark frowned, his brow furrowing as he lost himself in thought, “Now that you mention it...I was told there was one tunnel system, not two paths. There was rubble around the one we took, the edges more jagged. Maybe this way was opened by a cave in?”

Yomi blanched, taking a very measured step backwards in the direction they entered in. If there had been a collapse before, it could very well happen again. Now that she thought about it, the entry way did have a bit of debris, and Emma had spoken of something like that being possible before herding the drunken members of the group away.

Not safe. We need to go.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Mira huffed, genuine concern on her face now as she mimicked Yomi’s motion and stepped backwards, “If cave-ins are a thing, we need to bounce. Too much danger for my liking.”

That was a hard agreement on Yomi’s part. She already felt uneasy about coming to an abandoned cave in the middle of the woods, especially when it was technically illegal. Mind you, kids had done it before and generally only got a slap on the wrists. But Yomi didn’t particularly want to be arrested, especially considering who she was. If she got arrested, if her step father and mother found out what she was doing…

Bad, very bad.

"Yeah, let's head back. We can go to my house," Clark gave Yomi a welcoming smile, putting a hand around Mira’s arm to hold her steady. "You can come too, if you want--my dog Ruby is a sweetheart, loves everyone. We call her Boobie.”

His words make Yomi pause, a hesitant delight blooming in her chest at how eager he was to try and be kind to her. Clark was known for being the friendly sort, but unlike Bethany he was nowhere near as pushy or forceful about it. A gentle giant, one who respected people’s personal space. Even people in their class who weren’t his friends know that he'd be there if they needed him, and having him extend that same courtesy to her despite the reputation floating around school…

I’m not used to this.

She opened her mouth to reply, trying to formulate some sort of coherent response or maybe ask if it was really alright with them, but something made her focus start to drift.

...What is that sound?

Yomi blinked, ears suddenly hyper-focusing on the cave around them in a brief second of clarity from the racing thoughts. It had been shockingly quiet in this area before, far from the crackling fire and rowdy classmates. No dripping water, no bats, nothing but the echos of their own voices bouncing further into the landscape. But now...something was there, making all three teenagers pause and glance at each other in confusion. It was low, so low that for a second Yomi thought she was imagining it, but it brought a sensation that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up, vibrating the bottoms of her feet every so slightly. A humming, like a deep bass was vibrating through the cave and growing in quiet intensity. It was the sort of thing one could feel in their lungs, loud and quiet at the same time.

Mira shot a confused look at Yomi’s face, placing a hand on the wall while her forearm crutch dangled a bit. For whatever reason, it made the other girl mimic her action--the humming sensation felt like it was radiating from the walls, below their feet and rising upwards. Clark was the only one who didn’t seem compelled to touch the cool stone, shining his light down the tunnel with a worried expression on his face. What the hell was that sound? What is going on? So ominous, so...mysterious. Surely not from her fellow classmates, they had nothing that could cause something like this, not the pulsing waves of bass that seemed to vibrate from below.

Break...shatter to pieces. 

Was...that a voice speaking? The white and black-haired girl gasped, turning to look at Mira to see if she heard it too--the answer was a clear yes. Her green eyes met half-way with Yomi’s hazel gaze, filled with quiet alarm and fascination mingled in one. Clark was the only one who didn’t seem to hear it, still looking around with a perplexed gaze at the humming.

Break. Shatter.

Let us in.

I’m tired of waiting--I SAID BREAK.

A crackling sound suddenly range out, making Yomi flinch at the sudden shattering of silence and snapping her gaze to the ground. Bright, it’s bright--what is going on? A burst of light made them all gasp, the marks on the wall lighting up in a flash of purple energy that slithered through every curve, every line and circle all the way up into the ceiling with a searing howl that razed against her ears. It all happened so fast, so suddenly there was no room to react. As it traveled along her palm, Yomi yelped at a flash of heat, falling back and jerking her hand to her chest in unison with Mira. It stung terribly, like pressing against a hot brand under her skin was sizzling from the wound of it.

What the fuck was that?

Both girls stared in shock, Clark putting himself behind them to make sure neither fell onto the floor. Yomi felt her back hit his chest when she reared back, his heartbeat fast and just as alarmed as hers was as he stared in mute shock at the glowing runes all over the walls.

Quick as it came, the light left, traveling up to the images on the ceiling and disappearing in a flash of sizzling violet. Every hair on Yomi’s arms was standing on end, heart pounding in her chest and hand stinging terribly. What was that? What the fuck just happened? The air felt charged, like static electricity and smelled of something...strange, like nothing she had ever encountered before. There was no mistaking that it had happened, all three classmates stood huddled in a state of shock as the humming subsided ever so slightly. Mira breathing heavily, Clark’s hands firm on their shoulders as he held them as steady as he could with shaking fingers.

Something had just happened, something none of them understood.

“Holy shit,” Mira whispered, leaning against Yomi and wincing as she lifted her injured hand. Yomi stared in shock at her palm, seeing the same markings from the wall seared into her flesh--upon looking at her own, the girl was met with the same image. The skin around the wound tingled, charged with an inexplicable energy that made her whole hand uncomfortable, “What the fuck was that? You all saw that, right? I didn’t hallucinate some weird fucking energy burning my hand.”

Yomi shook her head, taking in a shaking breath as she stared at the stinging mass of markings now on her flesh, “N...no...we all saw it…” She turned her gaze to stare down the tunnel, hearing that same humming still radiating ever so slightly further along, “I’ve never seen anything like that...never.”

It had been...frightening, but incredible at the same time. Exhilarating, like an adventure she had never been allowed to have. 

And shockingly enough, Mira was feeling the same way. When Yomi returned her gaze to the red-headed girl, she saw her own excitement echoed there, growing in intensity as she too seemed to registered that they had been apart of something strange, something beyond their realm of understanding. Injured or not, it was outside the normativity of their everyday lives, and that was...was…

I want to understand this. I want to know more.

Clark was the only one who was visibly shaken from the incident, not sharing in their excitement as he stammered, “W...we should probably go...That shit isn’t normal, and you both are burnt…!” He took a step back, watching to make sure Mira had properly adjusted her crutches before pulling out his phone, “I’m gonna call Em and make sure she and the others are alright--let’s get going and tend to your wounds.”

Mira let out a light huff, wincing when she tried to grip the crutch with her injured palm and hanging back as Clark took a few steps in the direction they came from, “Hang on now--Aren’t you even a little curious? The walls were glowing, they burned like fire…!”

The eager redhead slid past Yomi, walking a bit awkwardly now that she was trying not to grip the one half of her crutches. Her gaze was locked on the markings, barely illuminated by her companion’s phone as she moved a bit further down the tunnel. Meanwhile, the more timid member of their group was torn, watching her actions and unconsciously trailing behind. Her brain was screaming at her to go back to safety, to leave before things got even worse--the mark burned into flesh would scar, a permanent reminder of this day, and yet she didn’t care. Mira was excited about what was going on...maybe it meant she could feel that way too? Maybe it was normal to want to understand the unknown.

But Clark wasn’t convinced, the only voice of reason as he turned to look at them a few feet away, “Not a chance--not where our safety is involved…!”

Maybe he’s right. Yomi frowned, still holding her injured hand cupped with the other one. Maybe another day, maybe after talking to the others about what happened? Leaving felt disappointing, but...some things were more important than discovery, right? The need to learn more, the curiosity swirling in her gut was so strong she almost spoke up on Mira’s behalf, pleading with Clark to let them look a little bit further. She was never the type to ask for things, it always felt so selfish. Especially now, with danger thrown into the mix.

How could Yomi possible hope to demand anything if it meant endangering the lives of both the people with her? It was not fair.

She instead returned her gaze to Mira, reading the same unhappiness there that she felt and returning it in kind. Both shared a silent moment of understanding, hazel staring into green, Yomi’s hesitant desires plain and clear on her face. The redhead looked ready to speak, spurned on even more by her classmate’s fellow eagerness.

But it was short lived, Clark’s words punctuated like fate itself was scolding them for their hesitation.

A loud rumble started shaking the cave, all three letting out varying cries of alarm and stumbling on their feet. Loud, everything was so loud--stone rattling, cracking, grinding with the force of the tremors rocking the small space.Yomi heard screams echo from the other side of the cave, bouncing all the way down to their tunnel and signalling that the others were feeling the tremor too--a cave in? Earthquake? There was so much was shaking, like the stone under their feet was shifting back and forth and threatening to make the unsteady girl fall to her knees. Clark tumbled back behind them, his phone clattering onto the floor but barely heard through the chaos surrounding the fearful students.

Yomi instinctively whipped around to look at Mira, reaching out to the girl as she screamed and started to fall in the dark. Everything seemed to move in slow motion for a moment--Yomi reaching, Mira falling, room rumbling...she’s still falling, further than she should. Yomi’s finger’s gripped one of the redhead’s arms, a slow sense of dread and alarm growing when she continued to plummet. Beyond the floor, beyond the--the floor is gone. The realization came too late, the shock snapping through her as it registered why the floor was so dark. It had given way, crumbling into nothingness and sending Mira into a free-fall.

A cave in, ground subsidence, Yomi’s head screamed at her, every warning bell going off as she prepared to hold Mira’s weight, She’s going to fall, she’s going to--

But when she tried to steady her weight, she felt it--a cracking underneath her feet. Yomi scrambled, a cry of alarm lodging in her throat as the cave in shattered more of what once appeared as solid stone. It bottomed out with a loud grinding sound, sending the frantic girls into a plummeting down toward the empty abyss. There was no true way to describe it, the feeling of falling with absolutely no purchase for her hands or feet. She’s going to die--we’re going to die. There was nowhere to grab onto, no footing, no nothing. Just empty space that her free fingers clawed for, eyes locked on their descent and hoping to god that Clarke was far enough away not to be pulled into it. Her palm was flaring in pain where it held Mira’s arm, the girl’s cries loud in her ears over the rushing of blood and adrenaline. 

But she still heard him as they fell, Clark’s scream of fear and horror as more stone collapsed over where they once stood.

“No…! Yomi! Mira…!”

Neither could response. All Yomi could do was cling to the other girl, heart pounding in her ears and a choked cry of terror lodged in her throat as the air rushed past.

As they plummeted into the nothingness.

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[eris0330]

Hiraeth - Part Seventeen

☽Pairing☾ ; BTS | Reader

☽Genre☾ ; Angst

☽Word Count☾ ; 2k

☽Summary☾ Returning back to Korea after years of being under the ground, to see your parents. You wished it was all it took, to feel complete again. The aftermath of confusion, betrayal and sorrow was the reason to never come back into the boys presents. But it wasn’t until, seeing one them enter the same cafe, at the right time.

☽Warnings☾ Mention of suicide and along those lines. 

☽M. List☾ ;  1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // 18 // 19 // 20 // 21 // 22 [ongoing]

A few days earlier

After getting Yoongi’s current phone number, realising that he has changed it. The sound of the phone ringing, notifying you about a message from the one and only, Min Yoongi. It’s been a day or two, still unclear how all of it went down, from the moment you didn’t know when you would meet the boys, till one of them was rescuing you from a persisting drunk. It felt surreal, that even right now at a distant coffee shop in the outskirts of Seoul, you are planning the final meet with the boys.

“So, I have talked to the kids. They are already packing for the trip this Saturday.” Yoongi muttered, while scratching the back of his head under his big blue beanie. Your eyes followed his movements, watching a slight bruise peek out of the dark sleeve. Your hand reaching out, not thinking before action of violating another human being. His brown eyes, that were once tired, were now open wide to watch your movements.

“What happened to you?” You questioned curiously, scrunching your brows in worry as you examined the deep indigo mark. His lips forming a mischievous smirk, before acting tough in front of you.

“It’s nothing serious, doesn’t even hurt” He responded, spitting a few hints of confidence between his lips. Your brow raised slightly, inspecting the character that he created to not let anyone walk on him. Your fingers brushing the bruise lightly, almost endurable as Yoongi’s smile faded and a flush of red formed on his cheeks. Your fingers continuing to breeze onto the soft skin, while your eyes continued to hold onto his. His gulps becoming visible, waiting for something he never expected. A forceful but yet soft enough, push onto the fresh bruise. His eyes shutting close and his arm retreating in the comfort of his other hands, soothing the sore skin you just violated.

“What the f-…. ARE YOU NUTS WOMAN??!” He spat, clenching his jaw of the pain that was caused by a single touch. Your arms folding over your chest, giving him the usual brow of speculation.

“You said it didn’t hurt” You mimicked his previous response, making his mouth gap of disbelief.

“WHEN YOU DON’T JUST RUDELY PUSH A GOD DAMN FINGER ON IT” He spat yet again, calming down by watching you grow a smile on your lips. His world stops, watching the pure clean teeth appear, while the creases around your eyes appearing when you squint. It was like, watching your past quarrel with each other whenever there was time for it, flash by. His tensed face, softened of the memories before settling back into the chair to relax.

“So… care to tell me what happened to you?” You questioned again, wanting to get a proper answer. His eyes adverting yours, to wander towards the open window that had a view of the sun setting. Even though it wasn’t late upon the day, during winter it already became dark in the late afternoon.

“We’re practising a new choreography, but I keep messing up.” He spoke honestly, making your eyes wide of the imagination of a bruise that large, appear due to practicing. Even though you felt proud of his honesty, you felt worried of the sudden thought of him being in pain and possibly the others too.

“What are you supposed to do in the choreography that cause you to get that kind of bruise?” You asked curiously, watching his face show exhaustion before sighing loudly.

“Remember Blood, sweat and tears? Similar to that, with the hand stand? But a little more… extreme if you will” He explained, making your skin cripple of the thought, that you had to learn that perfect slow-motion hand stand in less than 2 months. Your palms were red, sore and visible with swollen wrists. Imagining a harder performance and dance than that, made you feel sorry for them.

“why are you trying to damage your bodies like that? I thought that would be the last and NOT do something similar but still keep our style?” You spoke, watching his lip get sucked between his teeth to get nibbled on. His eyes returning to yours, watching your temper prickle on your shoulders.

“Because ever since we got this much recognition, we need to be better than previous. It’s not fair, to give people the same thing and we have to spice it up. We owe them a greater performance, each time we make a comeback.” He explained with a sudden foul tone, that didn’t help on your temper that grew between your bones. It wasn’t that he was angry at you, but angry at himself for knowing how bad of a decision it was. Your fingers picking at your sleeve, trying to understand the life of an idol again.

“I know, that you feel the need to be better. To make some kind of shock factor, but when does it stop? When your bodies fall apart? I bet fans would rather want to see you being healthy and well, than seeing those stunts that MIGHT break you eventually” You answered, remembering the pressure that you were under, especially as a female you had to do better and sometimes, do worse to not outshine the boys. But together, you had to be better at each dance and performance. It was hard to not break down in your room or the practice room, cursing your body for not getting the beat right, even harder when nothing worked out as expected. It was a never-ending loop, of forsaken discouragement and bodies falling to the floor.

“I know. We all know… but that’s just how it is.” Yoongi claimed, taking a deep breath before sipping the left of his americano. The sound of his exhausted tone, faltered by the second and your determination to continue went along with it.

“Promise me, you take care of yourselves?” You requested softly, sitting back to relax your muscles. His lips pursed to a line, before nodding slowly. “We do our best”.

Even though you could tell them every day, to take it slow and get an agreement in return, it didn’t mean they would do it. They always overworked, but that’s because they wanted to do their best. They see the faults, the tiny mistakes of anything that could be in a single expression during a move and try a thousand times more, to correct it. It didn’t matter how many times they would get told to lay off, they would still betray it and continue in the same speed or faster.

“So, I’ll text you the address soon. But give it a day, before coming because they need to settle down first.” Yoongi changed the subject, remarking that there were rules before you could enter the hide out. Even though, you had imagined it many times before, nothing could compare the real fear of meeting them face to face. Did you even have to prepare yourself, or let it happen like it did with Yoongi?

“Alright, but I need to prepare a few things first. You know… I have to be a bit more open about the whole thing with Jane” You explained, avoiding his gaze, realising you have never told him about the woman who knows about your troubles, more than you shared with him.

“Oh her, yeah. I get that.” He muttered, surprising you with his response. You were expecting some sort of disappointment, but he seemed rather relaxed knowing you had to be open about your troubles.

“You… what?” You stammered, confused of what else to say to this man. He wasn’t getting in your business like before, but were cool about it. He chuckled lightly, before sulking lightly. Normally he would pry, to know what was on your mind. But he knows by now, you need to come by yourself if he needs to know more.

“I kind of know about Jane and the whole thing, but not everything. So far, I’m just happy you have someone to talk to” He explained lightly, making your heart skip. Your chest feeling like it’s going to burst, getting a taste of satisfaction.

“but you know..” Yoongi continued, making you focus your attention on him, while his eyes adverted to the window while a tinted pink covered his cheekbones. “-You can always text me, even though I know it’s not easy when it has been this long. But, you should know you can always talk to me, text, call and do whatever. It’s okay to send me a text about nonsense... if you want, because I wouldn’t mind” He explained, making your heart beat harder by the second, hearing a slight confession come from him. It has been ages since communicating with him and the fear, of when to be an acceptable time to text him, were overflowing in your head. But it was like, he missed seeing texts from you, whether it was about a problem of simple dumb stuff. Yoongi missed hearing your voice, your humour and knowing he was still in your mind, wanting to send him a text. Even if it was the smallest thing, he wanted to hear from you.

“Okay… I will…” You muttered, seeing his body retreat from the table. His jacket zipped all the way up, feeling the plush warmth surround his body. 

“Alright… I have to go. I have a schedule to attend and get the others, before they wonder where I am. Text me later?” He requested, seeing your body follow suit to stand in front. The height difference being significant, before he nodded softly.

“Yeah, sure” You replied with a light smile, making an imaginary twinkle form in the corner of your eyes. The same type of smile, that Yoongi regretted not to appreciate more often. His feet dwelling on the hard ground, before seeking towards your body. Yoongi was usually not the hugging type of person and preferred a hand shake, because he felt uneasy about skinship. But when your chin matched along his collarbone and a pair of arms squeezed you tight. Something felt surreal, that he was hugging you before leaving. There were no words exchanged, than the gaze of a man that you once thought hated everything about you. But Yoongi tried to do his best, showing affection because he never knew, when he would lose you again without notice. In a matter of a few minutes, he was gone and in a car. His shadow dwelling in your soul, but realised how much you already missed being near him and knowing what their next move was. You missed them.You fished out your phone, calling Jane to ask for a time to talk. After all, you promised to keep her posted so she could report those further. Even though she was a busy lady, she always made time for you to come by. But she tries not to overwork and lose track of everyone that is under her wings because that’s when she lost you for the first time.

“Okay, I’ll be there in an hour or so. Take care” You finished the phone call, before going out in the cold air. The moon shining and the streetlights flaring, you inhaled the sweet scent of winter.

“What if I meet them? Would they accept it being real?” You questioned yourself, before walking towards the bus stop. How did Changkyun react to you, you wondered? His face lingering in your mind, before stepping into the bus and find a seat. The high schoolers on their way home, while you fished out your phone to text that friend, who seemed to the very first that found you by accident on a night stroll after practice.